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My boyfriend avoiding me: What’s going on?!

by | October 17th 2018 | 27 comments

When you realize that someone is avoiding you, it feels terrible… This is even more true if the person avoiding you happens to be the person that you love with all your heart! So today you want to know why my boyfriend avoiding me? You’re probably wondering what’s going on and what you can do about it. Something like this can really catch a person off guard and it can also lead to some mistakes… 

Fortunately, you’ve found this article and I am going to go over why your boyfriend might be avoiding you right now, and what you can start doing to turn things around starting today. I’m also going go explore some of the common mistakes I see people making so that you can be sure to steer clear of anything that could make things worse. Even if right now, you’re frustrated thinking, “My boyfriend avoiding me is driving me nuts,” rest assured because at the end of this article you’re going to have a much better idea of what’s going on and what steps you should take now… If you want to know how to make him miss you, you’ve come to the right place!

I’ll begin by sharing some of the most common reasons for partners pulling away that I’ve come across in my coaching sessions, and then I’ll go into the most important thing that you must start doing right away!

Why my boyfriend avoiding me? The main 5 reasons!

Each person is entirely unique, and they will have their own way of reacting to situations. One thing is for sure though – if you’re thinking my ex is avoiding me, something is up. If your boyfriend doesn’t usually do this, chances are that there is something serious on his mind. Now, before you panic,He is avoiding me keep in mind that it isn’t always something bad! I’ve spoken to someone who was saying, “My boyfriend is ignoring me” and then it turned out that he was planning his proposal to her and was just really bad at being subtle about it!

So, if you don’t have reason to think that something is wrong, don’t automatically assume the worst.

That said, in the majority of the cases there is usually an issue that isn’t being dealt with. I know, I know, that’s not what you want to hear, but in the interest of being totally honest and clear with you, I want you to be aware of all possibilities and know how to handle it if there is a problem at hand.

So, what are the most common reasons for people wondering ”Why is my boyfriend ignoring me?

Like I said, in most cases there is something on his mind that he’s having a hard time dealing with. It is highly likely that he’s resorted to ignoring you instead of facing the problem and finding a solution.

When your boyfriend ignores you, here are some of the potential reasons:

1/ He needs personal space

Guys don’t like to feel suffocated. Sometimes you might inadvertently begin to take up a little too much space in his life and he begins to feel like things are becoming unbalanced. He might start to avoid you because he needs some room to breathe and feels like it’s the only way to get it.

2/ He doesn’t want to commit

Another common reason for this type of behavior is that a person feels like things are developoing into a serious relationship and he doesn’t want to fully commit right now. He feels guilty about it so he begins to avoid you instead of telling you point blank. This is often the case when things begin to move a bit too fast…

3/ He feels that things are moving too fast

A lot of people panic when things move very fast in a relationship. Also, keep in mind that each person has their own idea of what “fast” really means. For one person, moving in together after 6 months might feel perfectly normal whereas for their partner, it might be too early and make them feel pressured.

The partner could begin to avoid the conversation or they might even begin to avoid the person!

4/ He’s up to no good

Unfortunately, another common reason for someone saying “My boyfriend is ignoring me what should I do” is that he’s doing something that he knows My boyfriend avoiding mehe shouldn’t, and avoiding you makes him feel like he won’t get caught. This could be cheating or maybe even something that he knows you dislike.

Again, there are varying degrees of this. He could be trying to hide the fact that he’s cheating on his diet or he could be trying to hide the fact that he’s interested in someone else. You know him better than me, so keep your eyes open for what your gut is telling you.

5/ He’s going through something and wants to do it alone

Many people aren’t good at opening up about their feelings, especially when they’re dealing with something challenging in their personal life. So many of us don’t know how to ask for help or allow ourselves to lean on our loved ones for support. There are many people who also feel the need to prove to themselves that they’re strong and don’t need anybody…

What to do when your boyfriend ignores you?

As I mentioned above, a boyfriend ignoring you means that he needs space. He’s forcing space between you for a reason, so it’s important to give it to him. You’ve got to focus on what you’re in control of: your own happiness and well-being.

Analyzing the situation is crucial because you’ve got to pinpoint what the root of the issue is. If he’s going through something and is playing the tough guy, don’t try to force him to turn to you for support. Doing so would only make him pull away even more. Instead, let him know that you’re there for him if he ever wants to talk about it, and let him handle it his own way.

If his behavior is making you feel uneasy and is making you think that he might be distancing himself from his relationship with you, you’re going to have to give him the opportunity to miss you. Begging and pleading, or worse still, being clingy is not going to get you anywhere. Suffocating a guy or making him feel like he can’t have any time to himself is going to make him run for the hills. You have to prove to BOTH of you that you are capable of making yourself happy and that you don’t depend on him for that. You have your own life and he can see that he can have his own as well. Avoid being at his beck and call right now and make your life fulfilling and amazing.

My boyfriends is avoiding me: I need help!

I know right now is a difficult time to understand how to balance your emotions. You might be thinking that you are feeling out of control where it leads to a lot of frustration with yourself and the relationship. A lot of times people act on their emotions, and this is what causes the relationship to be worse than before because you are not responding when you have calm behavior.

You only respond during your frustrations. You were acting to fix the feeling of what you are going through right now which you are the only one that can heal these emotions. During this process, it’s important that you contain your self-dignity and the ways you can do this is to meditate.

Which gives you time and a moment to get centered in what you are dealing with and really to calm your nerves so you can look at things from two different perspectives and show up for yourself. Another activity that I always suggest is running. The reason running is so important is because this is what will get your frustrations out.

Here is how to show the new version of yourself!

Running can be emotional and releases endorphins which lead to stress and emotions. When you feel overwhelmed or angry going for a run until you can’t run no more is the way to handle your anger and frustrations. Once you feel at balance with your emotions, then start using social media to show your best self and showcase change.

What’s important here is that you show a different perspective of who you are and the things that you are doing on social media. Where a lot of people get stuck or fixated is when they are doing this to attach to a specific outcome that has nothing to do with them but everything to do with someone else.

The way you can show your new perspective is by challenging yourself every day to do something new or unusual. This will challenge you to break the dependency issues you might be facing. Instead, you’re putting yourself first, and this is what builds attraction back. Then lastly, the most significant step of all is to talk to a coach. A coach will be able to give you tailored feedback and self-diagnosis the problem that you may not be able to see yourself. Coaches have so much experience, and sometimes it just takes one coaching session with an experts opinion to give you the tools to get to the goal you want!

Fill up your schedule and become very busy with activities that bring you joy. Not only will this boost your self confidence and make you feel better, it will help you to set healthy boundaries, determine what needs to change in the relationship for there to be a better balance, and it’ll spark your boyfriend’s interest. Simply put, this will remind him of the girl he fell in love with and will make him gravitate back towards you.

If your boyfriend is ignoring you and you’re worried that you’re losing him, I encourage you to keep reading my others articles about how to rekindle the flame!

If you have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to leave them in the comments section below or get in touch with us directly right here for a coaching session.


Wishing you all the best in life and love

Alex your coach when your boyfriend is avoiding you


  1. Avatar

    Last time my boyfriend avoiding me was because I was too dependent on him. Your article is so true. Thank you!

    • Alex Cormont

      Thank you Mary for sharing your last situation. It’s really important to not be needy or codependent!

    • Avatar

      Thanks alot Alex you rly are agood coach. After reading this ive regained my courage n hope bse ts like u knew how my relationship is. So m going to give him space to take abreath for ive been so emotional thanks again maybe God had areason y he has let me read this article in atime of ts need

    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Lady,
      Thanks for reading my blog and hope it gives your clarity and direction! 🙂

  2. Avatar

    I feel like thats a lot of work to get the attention of someone who doesnt care enough in the first place. If hes really truly ignoring you, maybe its wise to look to happiness to yourself instead. As in I dont need a bf who is going to be ignoring me I have a cat for that.

    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Yuea,
      Thank you for reading my blog, My boyfriend avoiding me. Yes, you are making a wise decision of looking for happiness in yourself first. You deserve someone who will give you the attention you need.

    • Avatar

      I feel like I’m overreacting but we got into a deep discussion about how I messed up and said something I shouldn’t. The day after he started barely texting back and is coming up with reasons to avoid hanging out. It’s only been a few days and he actually is doing stuff so I feel like I may be paranoid but something feels off.

    • Avatar

      I understand his situation now I m trying to change myself

  3. Avatar

    I m confused till now…. I don’t know what to do😞

    • Avatar

      I’m zandile I just met a guy two months ago .we were good we even slept together. My problem is when I ask him that..whats really feel about me .he said he doesn’t understand the statement.so it’s worries me..please help

  4. Avatar

    I’m Lilian I met a guy one year now, he was always calling and texting all the time and we where always together more times, I caught him cheating on me and I complain to him by asking him what is wrong with him and he a guy can have many girlfriend but he knows the one he loves

  5. Avatar

    hi,Me and my boyfriend were bestfriend since 7 year.we are dating each other from last 2 year,we have so much understanding and love between us. suddenly he has started ignoring me.i have doubut that he like someone else but not confessing. He is struggling for his carrier also so, he is saying he is in tension of carrier.But he is good with his friends but when he is with me he is not with me totally. is he cheating me or whatever he is saying is true??

  6. Avatar

    My boyfriend is avoiding me, and it hurts me. And I did nothing wrong. But my boyfriend broke up with me, and I am so sad rn. And he is still avoiding me. But I really appreciate the article.

  7. Avatar

    Hi my boyfriend and I got into a relationship just 2 months back. He is already avoiding me. He avoided me for a week. I got a little angry on him for the same when he called back after a week. After that he hasn’t called again for a week. He is starting his own business and is caught up with that. But I am not sure if I should be putting up with this.

  8. Avatar

    My fiance is ignoring me,am tired I don’t no what to do, hurting my self every time because of this, and it really affecting me seriously,he dose not call me those sweet name again as he’s doing before,and he’s the only one I have, am scared of losing him because I love him so much,please what can I do,

  9. Avatar

    This article gave me a new perspective in a frustrating situation. I think my partner is doing things he knows I don’t like and avoids me to avoid his own guilt and shame. I need to back off and let him do what he wants and allow myself the same freedom.

    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Katie, Thank you for your message. Yes, space is important but so is proper communication so that you can make sure you’re both happy. You don’t want to keep allowing behavior that makes you upset, or else you’re teaching your partner that it’s ok.
      Wishing you all the best,

    • Avatar

      Thank you very much for this words of encouragement. It’s seems like you know what am going true in my relationship. I think think this will help me very well, once again thank you very much for your encouragement

    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Destiny, I am so happy to have you with us. Thank you for your comment 🙂

  10. Avatar

    My bf is avoiding me for a month now, and he barely receive my calls. He sometime picks my call and we talk for 10 mins mostly, sometimes more less, when i ask him that why he don’t call me back after seeing my calls,l. He says he is busy, sometime he says i talk irrelevant or boring. We only send good morning wishes daily. Also he didn’t read my whatsapp message. It is so painful to feel such pain now days because due to lockdown we are living far . otherwise before lockdown we were living together for an year.

    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Avril, thanks for your message. Unfortunately, your boyfriend has started taking you for granted so you need to get back in control of the situation by focusing on becoming the Exciting Challenge. This happens by taking him off that pedestal, stop dedicating your time to him, and focus on becoming the new and improved version of you. He needs to see what he stands to lose, and you must give him the opportunity to feel your absence. For a tailormade action plan, please don’t hesitate to reach out!

    • Avatar

      Exactly what is happening to me now in my relationship

  11. Avatar

    Hello, thanks for article. It is quite reassuring even though the fact remains that my boyfriend is still ignoring me for almost three months already. Prior to that, we haven’t really met much because of the lockdown in our country, which makes it even harder to reach out.

    Context is that he’s mentally and emotionally struggling with some personal issues related to his career outlook in light of this pandemic and he did mention before that he would rather deal with it on his own and did not want to put me through it. Hence, that’s probably why he’s distancing himself.

    Some weeks back, he did reply me when I texted him to check in on him, but didn’t seem like he wanted to communicate much and the conversation didn’t continue after that. Even with the lockdown easing up here, he still doesn’t even want to leave his house to hang out and just mostly spends his time cooped up at home.

    I acknowledge it’s best to leave him alone for now until he finds his way back, if he would ever that is. I’m feeling less depressed about it compared to a month or so back, and I’m spending my time on work and my own hobbies. But even so, I’m concerned about him and our relationship. And because his issue is career-related, there’s really not much I can do to help him and only he can deal with it on his own.

    Basically I’m just at a loss on what I can do at this point and it bothers me.

    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Mei,
      I understand how this could be very frustrating for you. Space is a good remedy, and I would suggest focusing on how you can make your life better than ever than before. This is what will create a shift in the dynamic. He may be dealing with personal issues, but the moment he realizes what he stands to lose, he’ll change his approach. Please don’t hesitate to reach out for one on one coaching by clicking here.


    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Mei,
      I understand how this could be very frustrating for you. Space is a good remedy, and I would suggest focusing on how you can make your life better than ever than before. This is what will create a shift in the dynamic. He may be dealing with personal issues, but the moment he realizes what he stands to lose, he’ll change his approach. Please don’t hesitate to reach out for one on one coaching by clicking here.


  12. Avatar

    Alex thank you for this wonderful …. My boyfriend started ignoring me when I start to make a complain about something I don’t like

  13. Avatar

    My boyfriend is avoiding me and I don’t know why I love him LOL I’ve been in love with him we’ve been together for a year and a half we were engaged for six months I met his family the family loves me I talk to your sister 24 seven but I just miss the times that they are here we’re talking on the phone his name is Jeremy Johnson


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"What if the true definition of love was not what you thought it was?"
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