Give him space and he WILL come back!
For those of you who are familiar with my philosophy, you know that I often talk about the push and pull technique and how effective it is in the attraction process. You probably also know that I am fascinated by human nature and go out of my way whenever I can to learn more and apply it to my work as a love and relationship expert. One of the most common questions that I am asked when working with someone in a one on one coaching session is, “If I give him space, will he come back?”
I wanted to write today’s article for you to explain exactly why giving a man space is an effective way to re attract him. It has everything to do with human nature and nothing to do with pushing him away to the point of losing him. So many people panic when I tell them that the best way to re attract a man is by giving him space. They worry that if they give him space, he’ll just move on.
Ladies, I’ve been a love and relationship expert since 2007 who has been working in the field and I can confidently tell you what works and what doesn’t. If you can give him space and incorporate the tools I am about to go over with you, you will see a big change in the dynamic between you and this man. In this article, I will go over how to give him space and just how long you should do this, why this technique works so well, and how exactly this works!
How long should I give him space: The timeframe
Whenever someone comes to me for help with how to re-attract a man, they seem to always want to know exactly how long they have to pull away. I understand that it makes you feel vulnerable and you’re worried that you’re just making it easy for the guy to turn the page and move on, but that’s not how this works… More on that in a moment.
To answer your question of how long should you give him space, the answer is probably not what you want to hear. There is no magic formula and the truth is that if you’ve realized that this guy is taking you for granted and he’s becoming distant, you have to give him space until he reaches out to YOU. Yes, that means that you have to be patient and stick to the plan.
It’s important to understand that love is sometimes a battle, but it’s worth the fight. He needs to reach out to you, text you, call you, invite you out on a date. We want the guy to make the first step!
Now, if you want to speed this process up, you just need to make sure that you’re filling up your schedule with exciting activities and use social media to your advantage. Update your pictures and show him that he’s missing out on some great times. We want this guy to realize that losing you would be a great loss.
If you’re still adamant about having a clear timeframe, I can tell you this. It takes a human being 21 days to form a new habit. So if you can do things for 21 days like no contact, giving him space, and focusing on yourself, you can easily manage your emotions and stop thinking about him. I recommend three weeks because anything less than that is too short and anything over that starts to get a bit too long.
If you can wait until he reaches out to you, until he makes an effort, that would be the best.
Listen, I know it’s hard. I’ve coached thousands upon thousands of both men and women so I know both sides of the situation. When you love someone, you experience a surge of emotions that can be completely overpowering, and this is why you need to clear your mind. Go to the gym, get physically active, but also make an effort to put a breath of fresh air into your life. Change your style, change the way you eat, go out, and do new things both alone and with your friends. Practice yoga and meditation and set some professional as well as personal goals for yourself. You could even go on a trip with your best friend for the weekend. I just want you to challenge yourself to experience NEW things!
I can promise you that if you can control your mind, then you can control your emotions, and giving this guy space will become the easiest thing in the world…
Give him space: Why this works so well
Truth be told, the push and pull technique is something that guys do all the time whether they realize it or not. So I want to take a moment and dive into why it is so beneficial to give him space. It’s not about giving him space while he figures out what he wants – it’s about switching up the dynamic and creating a more balanced and gratifying relationship.
So as I started saying above, you know how I love to talk about human psychology. One of my all time favorite books on the subject is called “Persuasion: The influence and science of persuasion” by Robert Chialdini. Two things really stuck with me after I finished this book. First, that as human beings we will always chase what we don’t have. A simple example is like a pair of shoes you want that you’ve been saving for.
Once you get them, you’re happy for a while but then you start thinking about the next pair that you’d really really want. This is how all of us work. And at the same time, even if you start to think about that next pair of shoes, you wouldn’t necessarily want to give the pair you bought to your best friend, which brings me to point #2. As humans, we don’t want to lose what we have.
This brings me back to my point: The push and pull technique works extremely well because you’ve been showing this guy interest, giving him affection, giving him your time and energy and then suddenly you stop. His mind is going to receive a jolt and he’ll think, “She was so into me before, what happened? What do I do?”
Trust me, I can hear you all the way from over here saying, “Alex, I am so done with these games, I really just want to be myself.” But it’s not about games! You SHOULD be yourself. When you pull away, you need to be focusing on making yourself happy, making your life better, and becoming the best version of yourself.
More often than not, I see that when people pull away, they suffer. They want to text the guy, call the guy, get some kind of reassurance from the guy, but no! In order for this to work, you have to focus on yourself! Don’t foliate on how to give him space to fall in love or when to text him… Giving him space works if you use the time to make your life better. This is exactly what will make a man think, “Wow, she has such an amazing life, I need her, I want HER! I need to make an effort to get closer to her!”
It’s the perfect technique for balancing out the attraction process and keeping you safe from being in a position of neediness or clinginess. What’s more, it’s not just a technique! It’s something that will create attraction and improve the quality of your life, balance your emotions, and help you to become the best version of yourself. It protects you from losing yourself when you are attracted to a man.
Give him space and he’ll come back and become interested again
As I’ve been saying, pulling away, giving him space, and ignoring him are powerful techniques to get him interested again. The thing is that most men are afraid of losing independence and they’re afraid of a committed relationship because they’re worried they won’t be happy. Even if they’re happy now, they aren’t convinced that they’ll be happy enough in a committed relationship. So the result is that they pull away and ignore you.
An interesting little tidbit of information is that science has found that one of the things the human mind responds the most negatively to is when they are being ignored. Not yelled at or cried to; but ignored. What does this mean for us? Well, if you can give him space and in certain cases, downright ignore him, it is a powerful way to make him understand that he’s made a mistake. He’ll realize that before, you were actively showing him your interest and now you’re not available to him anymore.
I know that it can feel very difficult to understand how ignoring someone can make them want to be more committed but if you can think about human nature and how the mind works, it will become much easier to understand. Remember what I was saying above about developing new habits in 21 days? Your actions will affect his behavior as well. If he can develop the habit of reaching out to you, pursuing you, and showing you that he’s interested, then you’ve won! This is how you create a new dynamic and get closer.
Remember if you’re constantly making the first step, you can inadvertently undermine the attraction process. Men are hunters and keeping this in mind will always serve you.
I understand that this might not feel natural, but sometimes a period of distance is exactly what you need to recalibrate the relationship between you and set it back on the right track. I know that each situation has it’s own, unique details so please don’t hesitate to reach out to me personally for one on one coaching. In just one hour we can transform your love life and set you up for success. By asking you targeted questions, I can analyze your situation, answer all of your questions and provide you with a tailor made action plan to help you reach your goal. I understand how frustrating this can be, trust me. I’ve dedicated my entire career to helping people find solutions to their problems in love and set themselves up for longterm happiness in life and love!
You can also check out the hundreds of videos that I have created on my YouTube channel to help you coach yourself through these challenging periods. I want to help you every step of the way. Feel free to leave any questions you may have in the comments section below and my team and I will be there to answer you 🙂
Last but not least, you also have access to my eBook that has become a best seller. In it, I reveal all the secrets to creating a love life that is more fruitful than you ever thought possible. I share my personal experience in the field as a coach, give you all kinds of exercises and techniques, and teach you how to navigate through even the most frustrating challenges in love. As you can see, I want to do everything in my power to make sure that you start living the love life of your dreams!
I wish you all the best, ladies!
Your #1 French relationship expert