Dating online: How to do it & how to do it well!

Dating online can feel very daunting if you haven’t tried it out before, but in today’s day and age, it is an incredible tool for finding exactly what you’re looking for. Whether you want to meet the love of your life or have some casual fun with someone you find attractive, all you have to do is be open to trying it out. It isn’t always easy to find the right match because we’re busy with our personal lives and what’s more, people who want to find something long-lasting struggle in a society that trains us to have short attention spans. It’s normal to feel discouraged about finding the right match, but that is why dating online is such an exceptionally powerful tool. 

I’ve written this article for you today to give you a better idea of what’s out there, and which dating sites and dating apps are available to you, based on what you’re looking for! To top it off, I’m also going to talk about what exactly you should do in order to boost your chances of success!

Dating online: Why it is such a great tool!

There are billions of people on this planet, and when most of us have certain routines in our daily lives. We go to work, we hang out with the same people, oftentimes in the same places. Sure, we can meet people like that, but what about all the other possible matches that are out there? Dating online is the perfect tool for meeting someone because 1. You get to set criteria and get matched to someone that shares things in common with you 2. You gain access to way more people that are compatible with you that you might not normally meet 3. You save a considerable amount of time 4. You get to practice flirting online and dating Lots of people are hesitant about online dating, and it’s true that some of the sites and apps have a bad rap for some people. Though the idea of chatting with a stranger online could make you nervous, it really should make you feel excited. There are so many doors that are open for you! Haven’t you noticed how some of the best things happen because you stepped outside of your comfort zone? It’s important to practice being open to new things when you know that they could potentially bring you a lot of joy! Online dating websites and apps give you access to new people and new ways to have fun.

Imagine meeting someone who shares the same sense of humor as you, the same hobbies, the same passions, the same background… What’s more, dating, in general, can be quite daunting and overwhelming, but using dating sites and dating apps is a great way to gain some practice and ease into the dating world. The more dates you go on, the easier it’s going to be. Of course, if you aren’t used to going on lots of dates, it’s normal to feel a bit nervous, but just think about each date as a fun experience, without putting any pressure on yourself! Putting any form of pressure on yourself is quite possibly the worst thing you can do when you’re trying out dating services online.

The more pressure you put on yourself, the less you’re going to be yourself, and the harder it will be to have a real connection with someone. If you really want something, you have to go out there and work for it, but always do so while having fun. It’s great to be proactive, but I often see people make the mistake of trying to force something or putting too much pressure on themselves and they end up not getting the result they want. Similarly, dating online might not immediately give you the result you want (like anything else in life!) but don’t let it discourage you. Each experience is going to serve you in the future. Unfortunately, I see a lot of people who don’t even try these dating applications or websites out. But why do some people have such a negative view of them?

Why internet dating sometimes has a bad rap

Some people view dating online as “desperate” and say they’ll only use it as a “last resort.” This typically happens when either A. They’ve never tried, or B. They tried and had a bad experience. Unfortunately, some of the best dating apps and websites still carry a stigma because people have a negative or incorrect view of them. I’m not going to lie, it’s not a foolproof system and as with anything in life, there’s a chance that you’ll encounter someone or something that you dislike.

It’s so unfortunate to see people give up after one bad experience. Another reason why many people don’t want to try these sites is simply that some of the other users have given them a bad name. They aren’t there for anything serious and so a person that is potentially interested can end up feeling very disappointed. The best way to guard against this is by turning to the best dating websites that require you to answer lengthy questionnaires that really help to paint an accurate picture of what a person is looking for and match them accordingly. Also, as I’ll outline below, make sure that your bio is clear about what you’re looking for… Remember, signing for an online dating service doesn’t mean that you’re going to stop meeting other singles that spark your interest in real life. This just multiplies your chances of finding the right person tenfold.

Dating site: Making the best profile

If you are looking for a hookup buddy or a one-night stand situation, the most important thing is probably going to be the pictures you choose to post of yourself. If you want something more serious, yes, you’ll have to choose a good picture of yourself but you’re also going to have to put some time and effort into your About Me section. Generally speaking, the online dating services that cater to serious matches will have you answer a series of detailed questions about yourself which will help them to pair you with someone compatible. In your bio, make sure you talk about what you’re looking to share with someone, what you enjoy doing, what your passions are… etc.

Just don’t reveal it all! Make sure your potential mate can still discover things about you when you finally meet up face to face! Remember, it has to be enticing and should show a potential match that you might have in common. When you pick your photo, choose pictures in which you look natural, which a nice backdrop. Don’t look like you’re trying too hard, and avoid pictures with the opposite sex (even if it’s your sibling!)

Dating websites and apps: Here are some of the best for men and women

I’d like to go over some of the top dating sites and apps and then outline some of the more specialized apps that exist. I’d like to show you that there is so much out there – all you have to do is look around and see what works best for you!

Match

This is one of the top dating sites in the US. With more than 17 million users, you have access to 17 million people! It’s pretty straight forward. You can sign up for free and browse through profiles, send “winks” and get matches, and if you want to communicate with anyone, you have to pay for the premium service. It’s a good way to try it out and see if there’s anyone that catches your eye. If you feel like going a bit further you can sign up for the premium service. The advantage of this system is that it helps to clear away anyone who isn’t serious. It has an in-depth profile questionnaire for you to fill out. You can share a lot about yourself and learn a lot about a potential match before you even get in contact! You can also download their app and use it on your phone.

Tinder

I’d be surprised if you haven’t heard of Tinder. It’s an app that is used on your phone and is easy if you want to just try dating online out. It’s free and it’s linked to your Facebook profile, so it uses that to match you up with potential matches that are within a certain mile radius. Much less information is presented in a person’s profile. You post a few pictures of yourself and a brief description. When you’re browsing profiles, depending on how you swipe on the person’s picture, you either “like” them or dismiss them. If you both “like” each other, you are able to talk. It’s a very simple system, and it is often used for casual dating or hooking up. Some people are looking for something serious, but that isn’t the case for everyone. A con is that many people only use it to find one night stands… but one of the pros is that a person can only talk to you if you’ve “liked” them too. This way only people you actually want to talk to can message you. I would suggest using this site to have fun or to test out casual online chatting and/or dating, and to make sure you go in with an open mind.

eHarmony

eHarmony is one of the best sites for dating online and it is also one of the most well known. People fill out a long survey when they sign up, which is then used to help match them with other people who want “serious, long-lasting relationships.” Once you have signed up on the site, psychologists and dating experts guide you every step of the way. It’s a longer process than some of the other apps and sites I’ve listed, and people can’t just browse through profiles, but it means that there are only serious people on the site. This is ideal for anyone that wants to cut through the BS!

OkCupid

OkCupid is one of the biggest dating websites today, and it’s been providing people with successful relationships for a long time. Users can create very detailed profiles, so you can easily find out what someone is looking for, whether it’s one night stands, a friend with benefits, or a serious relationship. The only downside is that because anyone can message you, sometimes your inbox can fill messages from individuals that you aren’t necessarily interested in. One of the upsides however is that it’s free!

Online dating sites for elitists

Inner Circle: This dating site is a bit (a lot) more on the exclusive side. It accepts its members (yes, you have to apply), based on their job, education, and age. It claims to be the site with “the most successful and attractive singles.” This would be a good site for you if you’re very picky, and want to meet someone who shares the same social status as you… If you want to gain access to other features of the site you have to invite other people to join or you have to pay. Elite Singles: This site is similar to the Inner Circle in that it caters to well-to-do people who have rather high standards when it comes to a potential partner’s job, physical attractiveness, and education. The matching system is based on twenty-nine unique character traits, so when you sign up, you will need to answer a lengthy questionnaire! The League links to your Facebook and LinkedIn, and users have to go through a very detailed application process. Yes, not everyone is granted entry, and once you’re in, you set very specific criteria. If you’re looking for someone with a certain job, education, and status, this is the app for you.

Bumble

Women are in charge in this app developed by the former executives of Tinder. Just like Tinder, you swipe right to “like” someone and left to pass. If the person you like liked you too, then you are able to talk, but only women can initiate the conversation! Women have 24 hours to reach out before the connection disappears. I would suggest using this app for dating if you’re a woman who would like to feel more in control of the situation.

Plenty of Fish (POF)

Plenty of Fish, also known as POF is one of the best online dating sites in which the amount of information you provide about yourself helps it to match you with someone compatible. Pretty logical, huh. Basically, the more info you give, the easier it will be for the algorithm to match you. One of its features is called “MeetMe,” which enables you to quickly match with people who share common interests or live in the same area. This allows you to get to the point faster and contact someone that has caught your attention about setting up a date. A feature reminiscent of Tinder gives you a notification to connect right away if you match with someone who’s liked your profile. You’re in charge of how much information you want to share on this dating site, it’s free, and you can also download it onto your phone as an app. It’s been described as a dating site that is comprehensive, organized, and easy to use.

On line dating with some of the best dating apps

In this section, I’ll cover exclusively online dating applications. One section will have more general ones that are great for everyone, and the second section will contain apps that cater to people that are looking for very specific things. Coffee Meets Bagel This app uses your Facebook profile to link you with friends of friends. Guys get 21 matches every day at noon and they either like or pass. The algorithm then chooses the best matches for women based on the guys that are interested, and then the women get to choose who can get in touch with them. It’s a simplified approach and the app claims to be “designed for singles who want to find something real with little or no effort.” Happn “The app to discover the people you’ve crossed paths with, the people you like, [and] the people you’d like to find again.”

If you come across someone in real life, it will put their profile on your timeline in the app. Like Tinder, if you both “like” each other, you’re allowed to begin chatting. A new feature on the app makes it possible to send songs to each other. If you don’t want to see a specific person on Happn anymore, you just click on the cross button. Hinge This one is great if you’re not in love with the idea of dating a total stranger. It connects you with friends of people you already know and connects your social networks. It can be reassuring knowing that you have a friend in common and what’s more, you know you have something to talk about right off the bat. If you meet someone in real life and want to know if they’re single without asking your friends in common, the app lets you do just that.

You can link your Facebook profile and browse friends of friends that are single and on the app. Clover This dating app claims to be a mix of some of the top dating apps like Tinder, Match, OKCupid, and Zoosk. Basically it’s a mix of all the apps that are so well known that I’m not going to spend time going into great detail about them in this article. The filtering system is very well organized, you can set up dates, organize common interests, have topic-based group chats, view full-screen photos…

Once

Here is an app that is perfect for people that are tired of having their mailboxes being filled up with messages from people that are interested. This app gives you one match a day and you have 24 hours to decide whether or not you like each other.

Fliqpic

With this dating app, you can video chat with your potential date before actually going out, so you can really see if you’re interested or not! We all know that sometimes people post deceiving photos on their profiles, but with this app, you’ve got nothing to worry about.

Jaumo

This app is widely popular around the world and it has one of the highest ratings among users. It’s free to use but if you want to upgrade your service you have to pay. There are about 20 million users worldwide, and one of its features allows you to geolocate other users on a map if that function is active on their profile.

At First Sight

Here is a dating app developed by Bachelor host Chris Harrison that allows users to record messages to potential matches. The idea is that seeing someone on video gives you a better idea of what they’re like than words on a profile. This is ideal for anyone looking for something serious.

Dating online when you are looking for something more specific…

Now that we’ve gone over some of the more general apps for dating online, I’d like to share a compilation of some more specialized apps that I’ve created!

For music lovers

Tastebuds is an app that connects people based on their love for music. You can scan your iPhone music library or post your favorite bands and take it from there. It’s primarily used as a romantic platform but people have been known to make great new friends with common interests as well.

If you’re looking for a one night stand

Pure focuses on cutting to the chase. It calls itself the Uber for Dates and says “it’s all about real dates right now, and making real-life connections.” Users post a meeting request that lasts for an hour, and if you accept someone that’s up for meeting up, you can take it from there. For ladies it’s free, and men can try it out for a week for free, but then have to pay for continued use.

For someone interested in astrology

Align is great for anyone that likes to read their horoscope on a regular basis. The app explores romantic compatibility and astrology and you could meet the right person for you!

Emotional compatibility with a bit of a flair

Score aims to match people based on their scores as a result of answering numerous questions that are a bit out of the ordinary. It’s a breath of fresh air and perfect for anyone looking for something a bit quirky!

For marijuana enthusiasts

If you’re looking for someone with whom you could share your love for Mary Jane, HighThere! is the dating app for you. Users can even add a video to their profile so you steer clear of any “catfishing.”

For the LGBT community

While it’s true that a large number of dating apps cater to heterosexual relationships, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t anything else out there! One of the biggest dating apps, OKCupid, offers twenty-two options for gender identity and twelve for sexual orientation while being able to hide or share their profiles with straight people. Her is an app developed for women who identify as being gay or bisexual, and while being a dating app it also has a community feel in which users can share content and events, and mark other users as friends instead of romantic matches. Some dating apps for men that identify as being gay or bisexual are Grindr, Scruff, Hornet and GROWLr. These tend to be used for casual hookups, but GROWLr has events feature that allows you to bring some friends to an event. Surge is one of the top-rated dating apps for gay men and allows users to filter based on serious relationships, or quick hookups.

Dating online: Knowing how to flirt and be seductive

Once you start talking to someone that has sparked your interest, there are certain rules of seduction that you will need to follow. Complicity and making your potential partner realize that you’re unlike everyone else are the most important things. You can begin to flirt with text messages or via chat, and make this person laugh. You’ll begin to get closer and closer. Don’t ever beg for their attention. What I mean by this is simple: If you don’t have an immediate response, don’t keep sending message after message, asking where they are and why they aren’t replying.

One of the best tricks for knowing how to flirt online is putting yourself in your match’s shoes. If you were to receive the text you’re about to send, how would you react? Would it make you laugh, would it make you smile, or would you be creeped out? Make sure that you’re always having fun and don’t ever try to pressure him or her. Come up with interesting things to ask and tell them about. No one wants to be asked the same question twenty other people have already asked. Take a moment to think about some questions that would allow you to really get to know this other person. When you’re talking, make sure that you pay attention to their answers and bring them back into the conversation later on!

You want to leave a positive impression of course, so start making inside jokes and pay attention to his or her reactions. Like I keep saying, make sure you’re always having fun and being positive, without putting too much pressure on yourself.

Wishing you all the best,

Your coach for knowing everything you need to know about dating online,

Alex Cormont