I Love Too Much and It Hurts, What Do I Do?
It goes without saying that love is a powerful emotion that gives you wings and makes you feel like you could move mountains for the one you love. There are so many positive things to say about love and about the feelings you have for your significant other. However, this love or passion can actually hurt you and be the cause of various tensions in the relationship.
When? This happens when you’re realizing, “I love too much and I think I’m emotionally dependent on my partner…” This is never a good sign because you’re suffering and the relationship becomes unbalanced.
How can you explain loving too much? Why is excessive love dangerous? Do you have to avoid love in order to be truly happy? It’s true that we ask ourselves all kinds of questions in this situation and we don’t quite know what to do. Finding a balance between love and reason isn’t always easy, especially when your emotions get mixed up and you have trouble controlling them.
In order to stop loving too much and suffering because of it, you’ll have to do a little bit of work on yourself so that you can learn to remain in control of your emotions and avoid any needy behavior. Knowing how to control your emotions and not let love overpower you will help you to establish a more balanced relationship. The goal is not to love your partner less. It’s to no longer lose yourself in the relationship and suffer as a result. From now on, your emotional fulfillment will be the priority and I will give you three keys in this article that will help with exactly that. To take it a step further, I invite you to read this article on combatting emotional dependency.
How does loving someone too much happen?
Before we begin, I’d like to bring your attention to something, especially if you’re thinking, “I love too much and I don’t know what to do.” I don’t want you to misinterpret what I’m trying to express through this article because the goal is to make you feel better if you’re having trouble controlling your reactions. I do not ever want you to feel afraid of loving and being in a relationship. This text is not written with the goal of keeping you from having a passionate and satisfying relationship with the person you love! The goal here is to make you as happy as possible in this relationship.
And I’m not going to stop there… In addition to being happy, I want you to feel good about yourself and satisfied in your personal life. Self-fulfillment is key!
Thinking, “I’m too in love means that something is off in the relationship, but it also means that your emotions are keeping you from taking action. Let’s take an example that I often see in my coaching sessions. I often work with men and women that are with someone that makes no effort…
They are the first ones to tell me, “I shouldn’t accept it, I should put some distance between us, they don’t deserve me, but I just can’t do it.” Perhaps you are thinking the same exact thing. So why is it so hard to react? It’s simply because love is too strong and you’re afraid that your significant other loves you less. Perhaps you are afraid that your relationship is going to experience a crisis because you’re complaining and you want things to change. Loving too much can make a person blind or unresponsive, and these things can lead to disappointment in love.
In these situations, it’s always tough to talk about love. More often than not, it is none other than emotional dependency at play. Even if this term might scare you, you have to use it when necessary. Basing your happiness on another person, making compromises that don’t feel balanced to you, allowing your partner to always have their way and feeling unhappy are al signs of emotional dependency. You have to fight against this phenomenon because this is when the relationship begins to make you suffer.
Understanding that loving someone too much can be dangerous!
When you are in love, you show that you care for your partner, you foster complicity between you, and you protect your partner. On the other hand, when you’re too in love and you begin to ask yourself whether you are emotionally independent or not, something is off. Some people might even feel like they’re suffering in their relationship when they have everything they need to be happy.
If you’re thinking that you love someone too much, there is probably an unbalance and your relationship becomes endangered. Here are the four most common reasons:
1. Either you ask too much of your partner or
2. You exhibit needy behavior
3. You suffer so you are not feeling fulfilled, and fulfillment is one of the foundations of relationships
4. You don’t feel like you’re good enough and you put your partner on a pedestal
By having negative thoughts or having this type of behavior, your dream relationship runs the risk of turning into toxic love (If this isn’t already the case). By acting like this, you risk making the person you love to push you away. Loving too much can make him or her put space between you and they won’t make the efforts required to improve your relationship. This is why the relationship feels one-sided to you.
You must also keep in mind that fighting against this phenomenon can help you to feel much better in your personal life as well as in your relationship. So stop saying, “I love him/her and I’m scared!” By finding balance in your own life and feeling emotionally independent you will breathe new life into your relationship. All of this is perfectly possible as long as you’re ready and willing to make some real changes and fully invest in doing so.
I love too much: How to adjust your emotions
The goal is not to stop loving or to love this person less. I often see people that feel that they love too much want to stop loving entirely. You shouldn’t have to get rid of your relationship and be single. The objective is to stop suffering because of love and share incredible moments filled with joy with your significant other.
This is why it’s so important to focus on the root of the issue at hand and how to overcome emotional dependency or disproportionate jealousy. Make sure you’ve got the right goal – the problem is not the relationship or your partner. The real problem is the reason behind why you’re saying “I am too in love and I am suffering because of it.” It is emotional dependency.
In order to fight this feeling and the sensation of being too in love with someone, you have to understand the importance of maintaining your independence in a relationship. It is also crucial that you find happiness without having to have your partner by your side. I’m not talking about breaking up. I mean that you have to focus on making your personal life fulfilling.
To do so, find new activities that you like, expand your social circle, and give more time and energy to your work and any projects you feel passionate about. All of this will help you to conquer any issues related to issues with emotional dependency. Anything that will help you to do this needs to be set in motion right away. Working on these three aspects will help you to have more confidence in love.
In love, sometimes you have the tendency to forget all everything you were doing before you met the person you got in a relationship with. The result is that you feel like you’re suffering because you depend on you partner to be happy.
You should always hold on to your secret garden, don’t let your partner take you for granted, and be independent. This is crucial if you want to move forward and give your partner a new image of yourself. Don’t be afraid of putting some distance between you because this will help you reach your goal. It goes without saying that you should communicate with your partner about what you’re doing right now so that he or she isn’t completely taken off guard.
Depending on your partner like this creates an unbalance and I would like you to become aware of the changes that need to take place starting today. The first thing to do is to define a plan of action. Take a pen and a piece of paper and write down all the things that you can do to improve your relationship over the course of the next few weeks. The part following the analysis period is even more important because you’re going to have to take action!
Here are a few examples of things to fill voids that you might be feeling:
– Go hiking alone or with friends
– Invite your closest friends to dinner
– Go shopping
– Take up a new physical activity
– Go have fun with your kids at the park
– Grab a drink with some colleagues after work
– Try a new sport
– Cook something you’ve never tried before
All of these exercises will help you to feel better and experience the joy that isn’t directly related to your relationship. The goal isn’t to no longer share any experiences with your partner – but you have to think about improving your own personal life because this will make you feel better and it will also improve the quality of your relationship! So think, fewer messages and less attention… You are your priority now!
Your coach when you love so much it hurts