How to know a guy is interested: 10 Tips To Know He’s Interested!
How do you know if you should invest in a relationship with a guy if he never talks about his feelings or what he wants and needs? What tips and tools are there when you're dating someone who is very reserved? How to know a guy is interested for sure and is not just playing with your emotions?
I want to thank the young woman who gave me the idea for this article, though she would prefer to remain anonymous. I understood her issue right away, because it is something I come across very often in my coaching sessions. People often ask me about how to know if a guy is interested or not. There is no sugarcoating it - we men have a frustrating tendency to shy away from communication, especially in the very beginning of relationship. This drives you nuts and fills your head with questions, with the most important one being, “Is he into me or not!?”
I'm going to answer all your questions in this article, but please don't hesitate to tell me about your situation in the comment section below. I am here to respond to you.
Does it mean he’s not interested if he’s not talking about his feelings?
“I think I see signs he is interested but he never tells me how he feels…”
This is usually what goes through your mind when you are with a man who has trouble expressing himself. Though you shouldn't automatically assume that he doesn't have feelings for you simply because he hasn't explicitly told you, it's still a normal response.
When we take a look at today's society, it's clear that men are taught to keep their feelings to themselves, never talk about their emotions, never cry…etc. Men are taught this from a very young age. Little boys are told that crying is not very manly. The problem is that this idea develops with age, and the result is that many men have a mental block and think that communication makes them less of a man. In any case, this is how many men subconsciously feel about it. If you ask around you'll quickly understand that men try to wiggle out of conversations in which they're required to talk about their feelings.
That said, this does not mean that he is not interested in you. Men have a different way of showing their feelings for you. They prefer to communicate their attachment or love through concrete actions, and this should actually make you happy!
On a more serious note, you can see the main reason why men struggle with communication: They never had the right to talk about what they were feeling. And when they didn't speak about their feelings, they were reprimanded or made fun of!
The other issue that we see here is that men often don't feel comfortable enough to talk about their feelings, wants, and needs in relationships, even when they're already in love! What's more, when a guy opens up about his feelings he is often regarded as a smooth talker, or his behavior makes you pull away because you feel that things are moving too fast. He ends up not really wanting to express himself anymore, and this is one of the main reasons why it's hard to know when a guy is interested in you.
So you’ve got two solutions…
The first option is to be patient so that you can make him feel at ease. Wait for him to feel more comfortable about sharing his feelings, wants and desires.
The second solution consists of using communication techniques like asking open-ended questions, reformulation, or cold reading. These are tools that you can learn over time either through a course in a specific domain like hypnosis, NLP (near-linguistic programming), or through coaching. These things require effort, especially if you want substantial results.
To summarize, I encourage you to be patient for now because my experience has shown me that if you can bring a positive element to the relationship, you should be able to make him feel at ease. The goal is to put yourself in his shoes so that you can get a better understanding of his behavior and his needs.
There are however some cases that are a little less common, and you have absolutely no idea what this man is thinking. It might even seem like his words don't match his actions. So you don't know if he's happy being with you, and you keep thinking about how to tell if a guy is interested . You might even be wondering if he's manipulating you…
How to know if he's interested if he doesn't talk about it…
Sometimes you come across a man that you find to be fascinating, and you quickly develop very strong emotions, but his words or actions don't make it seem like he is invested in the relationship.
You are always the one to initiate conversation, to propose going out, and to become invested in the relationship. On top of that your partner seems to be very nonchalant… so of course this will drive you crazy!
Rule number one under these circumstances is going to be to focusing on pulling back… there's no sense in wasting your time on a person who gives you absolutely nothing and makes no effort. Your actions should be centered around the word “EFFORT.”
If it is in his nature to be distant but he's still trying to make you happy, then you can build a solid relationship. On the other hand, if he does absolutely nothing for you, you will just end up being exhausted and this situation will leave a bad taste in your mouth. You're going to have a jaded idea of men, and you'll end up realizing that you're investing in an impossible relationship.
Sometimes it's better to suffer and then bounce back than to chase after something inaccessible and impossible for years. I encourage you to analyze this man’s attitude and ask yourself if he is sincerely trying to make you happy, or if he's being selfish and does not care about your happiness.
Just be careful to avoid misunderstanding him. The fact that you two might communicate your feelings in different ways does not mean that he doesn't have any for you or that he will never be able to satisfy you. Once again, if you want to be sure that he is interested in you, you have to get on the same page. He might be trying to make an effort but is not on the right track. It's up to you to express how you need to be loved.
The # 1 tip to know if a guy is interested
10 Real Tips To Know When A Man Is Interested
#1 He calls you:
He isn't afraid to pick up the phone every once and a while and discuss how your day is going and how you are doing. Especially the times when you are just getting to know eachother and start dating.
#2 He plans dates:
Even though I do believe men should plan the dates as you start dating I do think a woman should pitch in from time to time. With that said he will be talking about the next time you see eachother often and have some great things lined up as well as you should too! :)
#3 He respects you:
He honors you and is interested in understanding who you are so the both of you can get to know eachother on a much deeper level.
#4 He talks about the future with you:
Even though he may be planning dates he will also talk about how he wants you to meet his brother or some important people in his life like his best friend or even mother!
#5 He is open about what he wants
: A man that is not open about what he wants and what he's looking for either it be a relationship or not should be able to tell you early on. I do think that the both of you have to connect more but at least you know what he is wanting from life and what stage he might be in. It's always good to ask a man what he is looking for after the 1st or 2nd date.
#6 He makes you smile:
He is really focused on making you laugh and making you happy. So he says things that may brighten your day from time to time.
#7 He invites you to his activities
: Let's say he is part of a soccer league he will start to invite you so you can see him play and see a part of his life and passion.
#8 He will send you cute text messages:
" Just thinking about you.", "Hope you have a great day!", "Good Morning Beautiful."
#9 He starts to have deeper level conversations with you:
You start talking about values in a relationship what you need and want if you want kids, and possibly marriage.
#10 He says that he likes you and wants to make your relationship exclusive:
Not all men do this! But what happens is he may just start talking about your relationship and calling you his girlfriend. This I hear happens a lot and is a natural progression into a relationship.
How can he prove his feelings when a man is interested in you?
In getting a closer look at our social interactions, we can see that the principal role of a man is to protect his woman and their family. He won't hesitate to be available whenever he is needed. This is something that proves how he feels and how invested he is. He will always work to meet your needs, and that is his way of saying he loves you!
Men communicate primarily through actions like giving you a gift or driving for hours just to come see you.
I encourage you to keep your eyes open for what he does for you, because words aren't everything. A man can communicate his feelings through gestures as well. It's up to you to pinpoint whether or not this man can meet your needs. Just remember, he needs to make an EFFORT! If he is invested, and you should be able to make a long-lasting and stable relationship.
I sincerely wish you the best,
Your coach for knowing how to tell if a guy is interested