How to know a guy is interested: 10 Tips To Know He’s Interested!

by | January 21st 2019 | 29 comments

How do you know if you should invest in a relationship with a guy if he never talks about his feelings or what he wants and needs? What tips and tools are there when you’re dating someone who is very reserved? How to know a guy is interested for sure and is not just playing with your emotions?

I want to thank the young woman who gave me the idea for this article, though she would prefer to remain anonymous. I understood her issue right away, because it is something I come across very often in my coaching sessions. People often ask me about how to know if a guy is interested or not. There is no sugarcoating it – we men have a frustrating tendency to shy away from communication, especially in the very beginning of relationship. This drives you nuts and fills your head with questions, with the most important one being, “Is he into me or not!?”

I’m going to answer all your questions in this article, but please don’t hesitate to tell me about your situation in the comment section below. I am here to respond to you.

Does it mean he’s not interested if he’s not talking about his feelings?

“I think I see signs he is interested but he never tells me how he feels…”

This is usually what goes through your mind when you are with a man who has trouble expressing himself. Though you shouldn’t automatically assume that he doesn’t have feelings for you simply because he hasn’t explicitly told you, it’s still a normal response.

When we take a look at today’s society, it’s clear that men are taught to keep their feelings to themselves, never talk about their emotions, never cry…etc. Men are taught this from a very young age. Little boys are told that crying is not very manly. The problem is that this idea develops with age, and the result is that many men have a mental block and think that communication makes them less of a man. In any case, this is how many men subconsciously feel about it. If you ask around you’ll quickly understand that men try to wiggle out of conversations in which they’re required to talk about their feelings.

That said, this does not mean that he is not interested in you. Men have a different way of showing their feelings for you. They prefer to communicate their attachment or love through concrete actions, and this should actually make you happy!

On a more serious note, you can see the main reason why men struggle with communication: They never had the right to talk about what they were feeling. And when they didn’t speak about their feelings, they were reprimanded or made fun of!

The other issue that we see here is that men often don’t feel comfortable enough to talk about their feelings, wants, and needs in relationships, even when they’re already in love! What’s more, when a guy opens up about his feelings he is often regarded as a smooth talker, or his behavior makes you pull away because you feel that things are moving too fast. He ends up not really wanting to express himself anymore, and this is one of the main reasons why it’s hard to know when a guy is interested in you.

So you’ve got two solutions…

The first option is to be patient so that you can make him feel at ease. Wait for him to feel more comfortable about sharing his feelings, wants and desires.

The second solution consists of using communication techniques like asking open-ended questions, reformulation, or cold reading. These are tools that you can learn over time either through a course in a specific domain like hypnosis, NLP (near-linguistic programming), or through coaching. These things require effort, especially if you want substantial results.

To summarize, I encourage you to be patient for now because my experience has shown me that if you can bring a positive element to the relationship, you should be able to make him feel at ease. The goal is to put yourself in his shoes so that you can get a better understanding of his behavior and his needs.

There are however some cases that are a little less common, and you have absolutely no idea what this man is thinking. It might even seem like his words don’t match his actions. So you don’t know if he’s happy being with you, and you keep thinking about how to tell if a guy is interested . You might even be wondering if he’s manipulating you…

How to know if he’s interested if he doesn’t talk about it…

Sometimes you come across a man that you find to be fascinating, and you quickly develop very strong emotions, but his words or actions don’t make it seem like he is invested in the relationship.

You are always the one to initiate conversation, to propose going out, and to become invested in the relationship. On top of that your partner seems to behow to know a guy is interested very nonchalant… so of course this will drive you crazy!

Rule number one under these circumstances is going to be to focusing on pulling back… there’s no sense in wasting your time on a person who gives you absolutely nothing and makes no effort. Your actions should be centered around the word “EFFORT.”

If it is in his nature to be distant but he’s still trying to make you happy, then you can build a solid relationship. On the other hand, if he does absolutely nothing for you, you will just end up being exhausted and this situation will leave a bad taste in your mouth. You’re going to have a jaded idea of men, and you’ll end up realizing that you’re investing in an impossible relationship.

Sometimes it’s better to suffer and then bounce back than to chase after something inaccessible and impossible for years. I encourage you to analyze this man’s attitude and ask yourself if he is sincerely trying to make you happy, or if he’s being selfish and does not care about your happiness.

Just be careful to avoid misunderstanding him. The fact that you two might communicate your feelings in different ways does not mean that he doesn’t have any for you or that he will never be able to satisfy you. Once again, if you want to be sure that he is interested in you, you have to get on the same page. He might be trying to make an effort but is not on the right track. It’s up to you to express how you need to be loved.

The # 1 tip to know if a guy is interested

I believe men can show love in different ways just like a woman can. It all depends on how they give and receive love. But the #1 tip to knowing when a guy is interested is he invest more than time with you. He invests in an emotional connection with you in different areas of your life. When a guy dates a woman and he is looking to settle down they typically settle down with the idea that this woman can be there forever partner or wife. Men start investing in you emotionally by getting to know about you. Your values and the things that mean a lot to you like friends and family. You will notice that they start to plan things in the future and want to develop relationships with the people you love. Intimate conversations start and you talk about what the both of you are looking for long term so you both know what you are working towards. Typically a man will be open with you about how they feel about you by showing you they care and they want to support you and your feelings.
When a guy is not interested he won’t be emotionally invested in you. What I mean by this is he will not want to spend as much time with you and he will typically cancel and give you some excuses. If this is happening to you then it’s time that you hold the breaks and start moving on in your life. Trust me, if a man wants something he will go after you and court you properly. Especially if you showed him that you were interested in him previously.

10 Real Tips To Know When A Man Is Interested

#1 He calls you:

He isn’t afraid to pick up the phone every once and a while and discuss how your day is going and how you are doing. Especially the times when you are just getting to know eachother and start dating.

#2 He plans dates:

Even though I do believe men should plan the dates as you start dating I do think a woman should pitch in from time to time. With that said he will be talking about the next time you see eachother often and have some great things lined up as well as you should too! 🙂

#3 He respects you:

He honors you and is interested in understanding who you are so the both of you can get to know eachother on a much deeper level.

#4 He talks about the future with you:

Even though he may be planning dates he will also talk about how he wants you to meet his brother or some important people in his life like his best friend or even mother!

#5 He is open about what he wants

: A man that is not open about what he wants and what he’s looking for either it be a relationship or not should be able to tell you early on. I do think that the both of you have to connect more but at least you know what he is wanting from life and what stage he might be in. It’s always good to ask a man what he is looking for after the 1st or 2nd date.

#6 He makes you smile:

He is really focused on making you laugh and making you happy. So he says things that may brighten your day from time to time.

#7 He invites you to his activities

: Let’s say he is part of a soccer league he will start to invite you so you can see him play and see a part of his life and passion.

#8 He will send you cute text messages:

” Just thinking about you.”, “Hope you have a great day!”, “Good Morning Beautiful.”

#9 He starts to have deeper level conversations with you:

You start talking about values in a relationship what you need and want if you want kids, and possibly marriage.

#10 He says that he likes you and wants to make your relationship exclusive:

Not all men do this! But what happens is he may just start talking about your relationship and calling you his girlfriend. This I hear happens a lot and is a natural progression into a relationship.

How can he prove his feelings when a man is interested in you?

In getting a closer look at our social interactions, we can see that the principal role of a man is to protect his woman and their family. He won’t hesitate to be available whenever he is needed. This is something that proves how he feels and how invested he is. He will always work to meet your needs, and that is his way of saying he loves you!

Men communicate primarily through actions like giving you a gift or driving for hours just to come see you.

I encourage you to keep your eyes open for what he does for you, because words aren’t everything. A man can communicate his feelings through gestures as well. It’s up to you to pinpoint whether or not this man can meet your needs. Just remember, he needs to make an EFFORT! If he is invested, and you should be able to make a long-lasting and stable relationship.

I sincerely wish you the best,

Your coach for knowing how to tell if a guy is interested

Alex Cormont

29 Comments

  1. Jen

    I was reading some of your blog posts on this website and I believe this web site is real instructive! Keep on posting.

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Thank you so much Jen for your support!

    • Charmaine

      Great article! Thanks

    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Charmaine,
      Thank you for reading this blog. I’m so glad you found it helpful. You are so welcome. I’m so glad you are here.
      Best,
      Alex

    • Ritchel Paderog

      Hello coach it’s a great privilege that I’ve seen and read all your blogs it gives me a lot of ideas. Thank you so much and keep posted. More power to you!

  2. Heather

    Hi Coach Alex,

    I love your emails and videos. Your blog is also super helpful and informative!

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Heather,
      I’m so happy to hear this and appreciate your comment! Thank you!
      Best,
      Alex

  3. MAAMBO

    Hello. Thank you for your article I read every word! Please help me with my situation. I have been talking to this guy for 4 months now. He calls me every day texts me night and day updates me on his day. Yet he never plans dates. We have only met twice in these four months. I find myself drawn to him as we talk every day. But we are lacking that bonding time, dates. I have tried to tell him my free schedule and even suggest dates. Of which he is busy at work. I feel like dumping him then there he goes calling me again. He even says he loves me bUT wnot spend tI’m withe me. Help what to do

    Reply
  4. Andrea

    You’re adorable! Humble and down to earth about such a scary world for us to navigate in. I’m a 61 year old widow of 5 years soon, and believe me, it’s scary for me. Thank you for your devotion to helping! I’m French norm too! Merci beaucoup Alex!
    Andrea🌸

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Andrea,
      I appreciate you! Thank you so much for this comment and thank you for reading my blog about how to know a guy is interested. I appreciate you!
      Best,
      Alex

    • Jenny

      Hello alex, its really a beautiful article, I’m a srilankan and I’m dating a french guy, we’ve been together for almost a year now, and i kept visiting him in france, and he will be visiting me next month in srilanka, he has introduced me to his family and friends and i already feel like I’m a part of his family, but Alex he never talks about marriage , when i try to talk about it he always says i never wanted to get married to anyone. But i said to him yes its possible to live together if i was french or if i was living in paris, but I’m not, and as a woman I’d like to have a little wedding and get married. But he wants more time to get to know each other more he says even after one year. I really dont know what should i do alex, please help me. I’ll be visiting paris soon.

  5. Dolores

    Thank you Alex, for such sensible instructions and knowledge about the actions of men. I appreciate you for being open and helping us open our eyes to what needs to be done to make the (man) catch

    Reply
  6. scoopsfeed

    You have got same views as mine
    If he really loves you
    He will respect you
    Will take care of your thoughts

    Will call you everyday to know if you are ok or not

    Will plan out a romantic dinner

    Reply
  7. Jessica

    What would you think if a man says “I am always happy to see you because I enjoy your company”?

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Jessica,
      Thank you for reading my blog, How to know a guy is interested. If you enjoy his company, tell him the same, because it sounds to me that he is interested in you.
      Best,
      Alex

    • Daisy

      Hi alex,
      Thanks for this article and blog. I’ve been dating a man for 5months now. He always make plan for a date but we only meet up in his apartment, he never plan for dating or dining out.
      We communicate everyday saying good morning,good night and how was ur day but I’m still confused much more every time I make some plans he always declined so I could not really understand what’s going on.
      I try to talk to him about not going out, he answer me like, he’s not a type of man who’s going out except for going to gym. He would rather stay at home and watch Netflix then he was just ok but why if friends will invite him he can give time. Ooooh so please I could not really read his mind.
      Thanks for reading my email.
      Have a nice day !
      Sincerely yours,
      Daisy

  8. Navya

    Heyy… I still love my so does he but he doesn’t want to stay in this relationship anymore.. What should I do to get him back??

    Reply
    • Jacqueline

      Wow if you don’t mind; reading and getting all these stuff, I think I’m soon becoming a genius, thank you u have really help me..

    • Jenny

      Hello alex, its really a very beautiful article. I’m a srilankan and I’m dating a french guy. We’ve been dating for almost a year now. I’ve been visiting paris a few times and he will be visiting me next time in srilanka, he has already introduced me to his family, and all his friends , and his family feels like mine too now. But the problem is alex he doesn’t talk about marraige. What he says is before he met me he never thought of signing a paper with anyone, but since I’m from a different country and if i wanna in france that he can consider it but he wants to give the realstionship more time. But i keep asking him how long more, I’m 31 this September and he is 34 . And we’ve been dating for a year, but he doesn’t talk about future plans which really worries me alex. I have no one in my life no family of my own, my both parents are dead. And i can’t understand if he really loves me why does he want to be away from me. I’ll be visiting paris soon Alex and I’d like to book a coaching session with you.

      Regards jenny

  9. Navya

    My boyfriend broke up with me 5 days ago and says I don’t want to stay in relationship anymore because of his family issues but still he tells me that he still loves me….. I want him back what should I do!?? He looks at me daily in school…. He secretly stares,,…. But we aren’t talking to each other

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Navya,
      Thank you for reading my blog. Give it some time. Stay busy and let him see that you are pursing you goals. Try not to be needy and clingy.
      Best,
      Alex

  10. Vicky

    Thank you for your videos, articles, and advice with men. They are interesting, informative, and concise. I have not been trained in NLP but received training in Narrative, solution-focused and behavioral therapies. Have a great day and thank you for your advice as a French relationship expert.

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Vicky,
      Thank you for reading this blog. I’m glad you are here and I always welcome your comments. You have a great day.
      Best,
      Alex

  11. Lekha

    I m from India, myself Doctor lekha ,der a guy named Rahul khurrana from my city,
    Who was the one who send me frd requests on Instagram and propose me and we were in 9 month realtionship
    It’s like I complaints against him coz he was doing wrong from past year, nd he was the one back of me …I raise voice in media against him coz I found around from people dat he is womenizer… And I find most things about him .

    even his dad got to know about his dis matter , after dat …I dont know wht happened to me , rather staying away I told his cousin I help him nd give medical counseling nd meditation

    He blocked me… Every where what’s app Facebook & Instagram even my call .

    My intention was not to hurt him I want him to be good man,
    But I dont y …I missing him badly…nd just few weeks from common frds got to know he went under surgery.i really want him back ,😔😔

    After dat, send him get well soon cards and aologzi cards nd some flowers and 🍫 chocolate. I really love him want him back and marry him.😢

    Reply
  12. zarmeen

    Your advices are 100% right but alex I think I am psycho but in my 31 years life I don’t like and attract any man without him who’s my teacher and unfortunately he’s married….but I will continue to watch videos….i like them all..thanks Alex for understanding every women…but my situation is really worrisome

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Zarmeen,
      Thank you for reading the blog, How to know a guy is interested. I’m glad you are here. You need to work on changing your mindset so you can attract the relationship you deserve. You also deserve someone that is available to you.
      Best,
      Alex

  13. Ratinder kaur

    Bonjour Sir . kind thanks for ur interesting n most discussed article “how to tell if a guy is interested”..It’s true that society have made relations complicated.The question like I’d a reserved man is interested , investing in a relationship if he doesn’t talk ,not playing with emotions ?!!r common..the fact is conciouly n subconsciously we all know what we want n need in relationship . Even the most quite man will verbally open up to his lady if he is truly in her n don’t want to play with her emotions .Man may not like communication but it is for his lady only.
    Patience is required but to certain limit ,as we can’t sit back n wait else other one may pull back .Some little words can do wonders .To analyze the role of communication n efforts can’t be ignored .
    . If one is putting all the efforts ,it cud lead to one sided relationship . Efforts is accepting each other in totality wid+ve n -ve points..The efforts are always acknowledge that they are valued ,care to be happy wid each other.To b respectful n courteous shows worth as do Please n Thank you shows appreciation for who they are n what they are doing in life.
    Sir I can’t say anything about myself as I’m not in a relationship ,but I like to share my thoughts n ideas with you .seeds of trust in relationship is a growth of best future .I hope you like the matter .and please let me know if there is anything wrong I said n what u would like to say about it.Thanks sir once again . looking forward to ur reply n messages . Always stay blessed n keep your dates wid happiness n success . lots of regards .

    Reply
    • Confy

      You’re just amazing at your job. It’s really helpful. Though would need some more tips as my boyfriend stays abroad while am in Nigeria. Thanks so much

    • Tawi

      Hi Alex
      I’m tawi from Indonesia
      I have man.. we always have dating every 2 week stay in hotel sometimes going out togethers.. we know each other 3 years but long time we not meet.. then we meet 3 months ago… starting for dating.. actually I love him.. but he never told me about he feelings to me.. then he not always call or chat me.. he chat me when we will meet.. please tell me what should I do.. sometime I feels he just play with me….waiting forwards for your reply … thanks alex .. god bless you 🙏

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About Alex


"What if the true definition of love was not what you thought it was?" It’s time to make your own.

Alex Cormont

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