Take A Break: Expert Advice on How To Save Your Love Story
What is the best way to take a break in order to save your relationship and quickly get back together? What are the best things to do in order to avoid breaking up for good when you’re still in love with your partner? What are the best techniques for taking a break in your relationship and working together to solve problems?
After helping hundreds of people in this situation, I decided to share my advice with you on how to take a break in the best way and make your significant other want to give your love story a second chance… Very often a break is synonymous with a separation, and I completely understand why you’re worried. I know that right now all you want is to once again have the passion you shared at the beginning of your relationship. The good news is that this is perfectly possible!
In this article, you are going to find the best solutions for your situation. Each relationship is entirely unique so it’s going to be important that you pinpoint which actions are most appropriate for YOURS. Being aware of your needs as well as those of your partner is going to be the key for ensuring that this break ends up being advantageous instead of detrimental.
Don’t try all kinds of different techniques without thinking them through because you risk making more errors than progress. I encourage you to leave a comment below if you have any questions or if you’d like to share your story with me. It would be my pleasure to respond to you!
What does it mean to take a break?
Before setting any plan of action into motion, it is imperative that you have a clear picture of what it’s going to be. In our case, you’ve got to know what exactly “Taking a break” means in terms of your love life. You are about to make (or accept) a decision that will turn things upside down, which is why it’s important to avoid rushing things or going into it blindly. You don’t want any unpleasant surprises or to find yourself in a painful situation that could quickly get out of control…
The meaning of taking a break is that you put distance between you and your significant other. When a relationship is on the edge and you’re experiencing crises, a breakup begins to loom dangerously overhead. Nevertheless, a “break in the relationship can serve as a way to give love a second chance and avoid abandoning the idea of reconciliation. It’s about focusing a bit more on yourself instead of the relationship so that you can find a way to bring back happiness.
When you take a break, it can be a way to avoid further conflicts and temporarily ease the tensions that might be ailing your relationship. By having some time on your own without having that pressure on your shoulders, you’ll be better equipped to make the right choices for your relationship.
Generally speaking, this tool for making things right in a relationship comes in the form of ceasing sexual relations (and even occasional kisses or sweet gestures). In my opinion, it’s best to go big or go home when you want this break to benefit you. You have to go all in.
That means that over time, content between you is to diminish. Fewer phone calls, and fewer messages between you (texts, emails, etc.) Some techniques used for getting an ex back, like the No Contact Rule (as explained in this article), may apply to your situation as well. Your daily activities are to be on standby while you and your partner decide how to proceed. It’s true, the words “break” and “couple” seem incompatible, but they’re actually connected. You just need to know how to navigate this delicate period in the relationship.
Taking a break: Why do it?
I am someone who believes that if you want to be happy in a relationship, you must be happy in your personal life, and this is why the decision to take a break when you’re having a tough time is a better solution than separating for good. If you feel the need for it, don’t be afraid to do it.
Separations leave scars and you should never choose the most extreme solution – especially if you’re unsure. There is no guarantee that you will feel better after you break up…
One of the main reasons that push me to try and give you a better understanding of taking a break is that far too many people break up too hastily. The smallest fight can make a couple decide to throw in the towel and finish their love story. Breaking up is sometimes the easy way out and yet, it can damage families. Deciding to take a break instead is a good compromise. It helps you to figure out what the best decision would be, and whether or not it’s possible to rekindle the flame and ease tensions with the help of a sentimental advisor, or simply by changing your behavior.
How to take a break in a relationship
Before I go into detail about my techniques that have been proven to be effective in the field with hundreds of coachees every year (men and women with all kinds of different profiles), I wanted to talk to you a bit about the philosophy behind taking a break so that you can use it to save your relationship. You’re probably wondering if taking a break can actually save a relationship… Rest assured, the answer is yes, and I’m not just saying that to make you happy! This is an assessment that I’ve made as a result of hundreds of coaching sessions that have resulted in couples happily restoring their relationships after taking a break. Just know that it’s going to require effort and it’s not going to be a walk in the park.
When you accept your partner’s proposal to take a break from the relationship, you need to use this period to transform it into something stronger by asking yourself, “What isn’t working, why doesn’t my partner feel good, and how can I change things?”
Take the time to think about these things and write all of your thoughts out on a sheet of paper. This step will help you to be empathetic and put yourself in your partner’s shoes, and you’ll have a better idea about why you were unhappy in the relationship as well.
When you’ve completed this exercise, make sure you’re a step ahead by showing your partner that you’ve understood their wants and needs. 75% of breaks end up breaking up for good because people don’t take the initiative to save their relationship. Take action before it’s too late.
Taking a break in a relationship: Make the first move!
Throughout this article, you will see that I’m giving you one main goal: Undo the break by getting back in control of the situation and make your partner want to jump back into your arms.
If you sit around, twiddling your thumbs, waiting for him or her to make a decision, wondering, “Will he/she want to continue being with me?” You’re making a huge mistake. You’re leaving the decision up to your partner or your ex…
If you’re thinking like this without showing any signs of change, why would they give you another chance? Because you love him/her? Unfortunately, that isn’t quite enough…
Starting now, you need to turn the tables and try to get back in control of what’s going on between you.
Throughout my experience, I’ve come to realize that the most important thing was always to feel like you’re in control of your own life and to be able to set the tempo. Careful – Don’t show any signs of neediness or dependency on your partner. You’ve got to take matters into your own hands by ushering in positive changes and reconstruction.
To take a break could be the perfect solution!
The more you consider this period of distance as a chance to save your relationship and to bring back positive elements, the more you will be able to recognize the right decisions to make.
Starting today, I invite you to get rid of any negative mindset. Instead, search for the real desire to live an exciting and fulfilling life every day, especially in your love life. I am counting on your ability to react and make this break into something that allows you to get back in control of your life: - What activities have I neglected so that I could focus more on my partner?
– What friendships have I neglected because of my relationship?
– What experiences would I have liked to have but set aside so that I could invest in this relationship?
Going on a break in a relationship should be considered as a moment to carry out some soul searching and an opportunity to enter into what I like to call the “self-criticism” phase. I’d like you to ask yourself, “How could I have made my relationship better? How could I have been a better partner?”
I know you’re probably thinking, “Alright, Alex, that’s great but what can I do about it now?” Be careful not to fly too close to the sun by rushing your actions. Before you take matters into your own hands and master the aspects of getting back together after a break, you’ve got to do some introspection.
The majority of breaks result in breakups simply because the two partners forget the most important part of a relationship. You should never try to ‘own’ the other person or thing, “Cool, I’m back in his/her life.”
No, your goal in order to restore a durable, stable, and strong relationship is to enjoy being together to the fullest and create an exclusive relationship that prizes mutual wellbeing.
These notions are all too often forgotten, and this is why couples encounter difficulties. No one belongs to you and you should never take your partner for granted, but you should also maintain happiness, complicity, reciprocity, seduction, sexuality, etc…
There are many factors that you must take into consideration if you want this break to be advantageous. I really want to bring your attention to the importance of placing happiness at the center of your deliberation (for both you and your partner!)
The break was helpful, now how do we get back together?!
So you’ve following my advice in the first part of this article and you’re now ready to take action? Your confidence is coming back little by little and you’d like to find the right actions to help you avoid a definitive breakup?
Keep in mind that nothing is going to happen the way you planned… You can always encounter bumps in the road because you can’t read your partner’s thoughts, but you can be prepared for issues that may arise. In order to make sure you’re on the right track I encourage you to opt for personalized coaching that you can find right here.
In the meantime, here are the most important elements to keep in mind when you’re on a break.
1. Remain in control of your emotions when you’re taking a break
Your partner is going to want to make sure that your changes are authentic and aren’t just temporary. They’ll test you, make you face your past mistakes, as well as their negative emotions like anger, bitterness, and sadness…
If you accept this idea then you’ll be able to relativize their words, actions, and distance.
Starting now, you’ve got to accept the situation and maintain a positive attitude, regardless of your significant other’s behavior and attitude.
2. On a break: Don’t talk about how you understand things…
This biggest mistake that people make when they’re taking a break is wanting to declare their love for their partner and their understanding of the situation. You can scream it from the rooftops but it’s not going to help you put an end to your break.
So it’s time to get off that road that isn’t leading you anywhere. You’ve got to fight your instincts on this one so that you can switch your focus to rebuilding complicity between you.
Your first goal consists of making your partner smile, ease tensions, bring back positivity and naturally recreate understanding between you!
In the next section, I am going to deliver all of my tips according to your specific situation, whether you are a man or a woman.
My man wants to take a break: How can I make him want me back?
Your husband or boyfriend just announced that he wants to take a break and you’re wondering, “How can I make him become addicted to me again?” You’re on the right track if this is the question on your mind because you’re zeroing in on what I like to call, “The power play.”
In the majority of couples that decide to go on a break, there is always one person who was a bit more instrumental in the decision than the other. In your case, your partner was the one that made the choice to put your relationship on hold.
You will notice that under these conditions, you’re the dominated one and your man is the one who’s calling the shots. HE’S the one that decided to take a break, and then either leave you or get back together. Our goal of making him hooked on your love consists of finding a way to get back in control of the situation.
You’ve always got to make sure that you remain in control of your life and not hand the reigns over to your partner. Let’s take a look at how!
1. Putting space between you to remind him of how important you are
I am fully aware of how scary it seems to take distance both physically and emotionally from your partner. You feel like in doing so you’re making it easy for your partner to just forget about you and move on. And yet, it is often this very decision to put space between you that makes him remember how important you are to him… and this can make him come back sooner than expected!
“Distance” doesn’t mean that you just stop talking to him. Take this time to invest in new activities, grab life by the horns, and once again become the woman that stole his heart in the first place.
Take this opportunity to see your friends again, start exercising again or more, become a femme fatale once again and give your self-confidence a healthy boost. You can adopt this strategy regardless of the length of time that you were together before your man said he wanted to take a break.
Cutting contact and keeping your distance can help shift the way he perceives the situation. He’ll stop thinking, “She’s not going anywhere. I can come back whenever I feel like it,” and starting thinking, “I didn’t realize how strong she is… She really is worth it.”
If you’ve gotten to this stage, believe me when I say that you’ve made a huge step in the right direction! If your partner realizes that you don’t need to text him and that you’re now more detached with your feelings, everything changes. The break, therefore, becomes a real tool for making him change or for re-seducing him!
2. After taking a break: A new beginning and powerful seduction…
You will agree with me when I explain that the break comes into play when your relationship becomes monotonous and the routine becomes too present. It’s hard to be truly happy in this type of situation. You’re going to be afraid of doing something wrong or taking action to change things, or you’ll simply be paralyzed by the fear of losing the person you love most on this planet.
However, during the break and after you’ve taken the time to rebuild yourself, you have to TAKE ACTION! Now is truly the time to show the man you love that you’re beginning a new phase of intense seduction.
To do so, you have to consider it as a new beginning… a new relationship! Yes, I mean you’re going to start over and introduce more fun, originality, and charm when you’re spending time together.
Don’t make him think that he’s got you under his thumb and don’t be blatantly obvious about how much you love him.
When I share this advice with the women I coach, the first question that I am often asked is this: “Alexandre, I get what you’re saying, but how exactly am I supposed to do that?”
Starting today you have to adhere to two very important rules:
– Stop talking about the relationship, the past, and your feelings. Leave these three subjects behind you and you can restore your relationship much faster.
– Always think about making your man smile and talk to him like he was your best friend. Let go and be relaxed when you’re together!
In respecting these guidelines and by following these two steps, you’ll quickly move towards your goal of saving your relationship. Don’t forget that it’s important to avoid having your partner decide that you should break up. You can change things by ushering in tangible change and with the help of an in-depth analysis that highlights his needs.
My wife wants to take a break: How can I make her fall back in love?
The biggest difference between men and women during a break is their emotions. When you want to make your partner fall back in love with you, focus on proving to him or her that you know what they want and that you’re on the same page. Show them that you’ve already started taking action to ensure that your relationship will be better than ever in the future.
As the “power play” is a pivotal element of saving your relationship when you’re taking a break, we are going to use some methods to make your significant another fall back in love with you and want to give you a second chance. We want her to become invested in the relationship once again!
Very often I see women that are inactive and men that try everything in their power to get back together. Unfortunately, you can’t reach your goal like that. Don’t try to be perfect because you’re going to give her a false image of you – an image of temporary changes. You’ve got to aim for longterm changes and focus on rebuilding her trust in you.
How can I make my wife trust me again?
In working with the men I coach during a breakup or a break, I realized that the most important thing is restoring their partner’s trust.
You need to show her that you’re capable of change but more importantly, you need her to think, “Ah, he finally gets it.” Here’s how to do that:
Use terms that are specific to her lexical field: For your wife or girlfriend to trust you, it’s important that you show her that you both have the same frame of mind. You can base your conversations on the needs that she’s expressed to you. For example: “I am happy about getting back in touch with myself and feeling better,” or, “I feel relieved now that I’m taking care of myself because I have stopped feeling proud of myself.”
The bold words above are terms that I often hear in coaching sessions, and when you speak them you naturally associate your changes with her desires. This can improve the situation and intrigue her so that she opens up a bit more.
Moreover, use emotions and details when you’re talking about your day. We as guys have a tendency to say things like, “I bought some things yesterday,” or, “I went out last night. It was cool.” The thing is, women need a bit more detail and to be able to experience the situation through your company. Go ahead and tell her about a moment that made you laugh, when your favorite song from your childhood was played at the bar where you met up with Luke and Sandra, two of your friends from school that you haven’t seen in ages.
The biggest difference between the way you usually speak and this way of talking about things is that you conjure up (usually positive) emotions your partner to keep her from making the decision to leave you for good. How do you do that? Simply by showing her that you’ve changed. Letting her in like this is completely natural and that’s enough to spark her interest in you again.
Finally, the last technique to use to make your wife want to end the break and to restore your relationship is to always try to generalize your attitude. What I mean by that is you’ve got to show her that you are capable of changing for good by taking care of your image, your body, what you eat, the way you work, going out, your daily life, your state of mind… etc.
Your job is now to show a new personality to make her want to get closer to you. If you follow these guidelines, her feelings for you will naturally return and she’ll fall in love with you the way she did the very first time.
What do I do if my wife wants to take a longer period of time apart?
Here is another big difference between men and women. Gentlemen, you might have to take your time and be patient while you continue carrying out your efforts.
Make sure you don’t panic and avoid raising your voice or getting mad because that could be enough to undo all of your efforts in the blink of an eye. To get you out of this situation and find more joy with your partner, switch your focus to sharing activities together.
Put all of your energy and focus on coming up with fun places to go together. It will bring you closer, reinforce your connection, and it will show her that you can really enjoy sharing “first times” again.
Show her that you can be original and don’t hesitate to do some research to find unusual and exciting things to do. I bet you already have some ideas in mind, and all you have to do is organize these activities.
So if your wife wants to take her time, don’t panic! Now is the time to be patient, to make her want to see you again with the help of these shared activities that will bring you joy and give your relationship a boost.
Don’t forget this detail while you’re on a break!
The biggest difference between a break and a break up is that you’re not single! Your love story isn’t over! Your relationship, though it has suffered a blow, is not broken and this distance between you is an ideal tool for fixing it. To do so, keep in mind that the length of the break is going to play a crucial role.
The ideal length of time for a break in between two and six weeks because just a few days is not going to be enough to allow you to think and figure out what needs to happen next. Similarly, if you are separated for too long, things could take a turn for the worse as well. This time you spend apart must allow you to take time for yourself because as I said before, you need to feel stable within yourself before you can save your relationship.
If the break is stretching out over time and you feel like it’s becoming longer and longer, you’ve got to take action right away. You should also consider that it might not be a break, but a real break up – especially if you don’t hear from your partner.
Time apart: It’s not the end of the world so don’t be afraid to take action!
You now know my tips and guidelines for saving a relationship with the help of a break. Now is truly the time to start doing some thinking so that you can find the answers to “How did we end up here?” Then you’ve got to take action by offering your partner solutions for moving forward.
Paradoxically, a pause in your relationship can be the perfect thing to get you back on track and to gain access to a happy and healthy relationship, especially when you had experienced the effects of the dreaded Routine.
Now is the time to make big decisions and stick to them. Not only is this for your personal wellbeing (because seduction is extremely important during a break as it can prove to your partner how important you are to them), it is also for your family. I can ensure that you won’t have to live with any regrets.
Take this opportunity to invest in your life and wellbeing and prove to your significant other that they have a lot to lose if they are considering living their life without the amazing person that you’re becoming today!
In adopting this behavior, you will bring balance back into the power play between you, and find warmth and joie de vivre in your relationship!
I sincerely wish you nothing but the best and if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask them in the comments section below, and I would be more than happy to reply to you. If you want to learn more and design the most effective plan of action that is perfect for your specific situation, get in touch with me and I can guide you via the telephone or on Skype.
Your experts for knowing how to save your relationship by taking a break
Hi Alex…..In September the man i met and fell in love with said he was moving on. I didn’t want him to go. But i did the no contact. Before the month ended he contacted me. We renewed the relationship. But now … i made a mistake again by acting insecure and needy. I scared him. He barely messages me now. He still has me on social media. But i don’t know if this no contact will work again. And this is a long distance relationship. We are 3 hrs apart. He was so good in the beginning. He professed his love. He said “I get him”. That he has never met anyone that understood him.
I love this man like crazy. But I think I ruined the relationship. But i know he is very kind hearted maybe I still have a chance to keep this relationship..
I text him if we are ok. He didn’t answer me.
Now i don’t know what to do. I am so heartbroken and angry with myself for acting insecure and needy.
Hi alex,,my name is josephine from kenya and i do need your advise,,i have been with a guy for a few months now,,when we started we were all good,he even intriduced me to some of his friends which i found it special,he told me he dint like urguments and quarrels,that he always has too much attention from girls,and at that i doubted him a bit but i dint tell him because all was well but after two months our communication changed,,,iam that person who notices small things and he gave me two different opinions,that he was busy at work and that his phone had broken down,so i asked him why he was lying,,he became so defensive,we urgued and solved the issue but two months down the line communication was still an issue so i triex to talk to him about it and he said that whenever he has problems he doesnt talk,i felt bad,i felt so stupid,and i also found out about a girl that he has been spending much time with,i decided to end the relationship and its been two weeks now and he just called me to apologise for not being there for me and for how he reacted to our situations,,he is asking if wr could go back together and i told him that we shout talk about it one on one and not on phone,,,am scared,i desire him but am scared of being an option,,,kindly help me
I’m a widow. I have been trying to get back to me. Doing a good job of it. I have to say. I’m very active. Paddle boarding, cha cha dance class, i have my own boat. I have many water toys to play with, I keep busy.
I do want love again.
Grief is misery -I have accepted it even though I have my moments of sadness. I had a friend of the family. We have great conversations and are attracted to each other. He asked me to go to the theatre with him to see a band. I said yes. Before the event -we are caught kissing in the driveway. We go to see the band. When he drops me home he breaks it off
I know he is right because we are in-laws. But this hurts so much because I have not been rejected, I wanted to get to know him better and I liked kissing him. My question to you — In-laws dating–should I just forget about him. When I do see him again I know I need to act like nothing happened and I am not hurt. I need to let him make first move. do I say hi or just wave.