Marital problems: the 3 golden rules that will save the day!

Marital problems can really damage your daily lives and you have to act fast to find a solution that’s going to save your relationship and then reinforce it. Do you feel like no matter what you do, your partner always fixates on the negative things? Do you want to tell him or her that you love them more than anything but not even these words make much of a difference? What solutions are there for saving your relationship and fixing all the problems that you’re encountering?
After having coached tens of thousands of people since 2007, I have taken care to develop a method that aims to preserve love in relationships, even when things are rocky. The goal is to quickly put an end to small issues that turn up on a daily basis and to eradicate serious marital problems that are turning your relationship upside down. To get to this point, you’ll need to make some substantial changes and understand that things won’t just get fixed overnight. Time is often needed so you need to set progressive goals. In order to set these goals you’ll need to pinpoint the source of the issues you’re experiencing. This is the key for finding a solution. It’s important to keep in mind that the problems you’re facing might not be as dramatic as they seem because life is cyclical…

Marital problems: The reasons they exist

There are quite a few blatant similarities between the situations of people that I coach on a daily basis. Whether you are a man or a woman, you unfortunately have a tendency to find yourself in these situations:
1. You took your partner for granted. The moment this happens, you stop giving him or her enough attention, you don’t show love in the same way that you used to in the beginning of the relationship. Despite the signs that your significant other is unhappy, you don’t do much to change the situation because you figure that they’d never leave you. You feel like you’re holding the cards, or perhaps you’re blind to their unhappiness because you’re not paying attention.
2. You live in constant fear of being broken up with. Of course, the fear of losing the man or the woman that you love can be paralyzing, especially when you know that you’re experiencing marital problems, but you can’t just live in fear. This is one of the worst things to do, especially in these situations. This directly leads to consequences: You lack self confidence, or your past is in essence haunting you, and you’re afraid of being hurt again. You want to constantly feel reassured by your partner, but this unfortunately makes you suffocate them and add a negative element to your relationship.
The majority of problems in marriage stems from these two “factors” but I’m sure you already know that. So I’m going to explain what to do to turn things back around so that you can make your relationship better than ever before!

Marriage problems can be solved…

When you come face to face with marital problems, you tend to panic and wants to fix the issues immediately with one single swoop. Sometimes you even try to fix marital trouble by making love… It’s a normal reaction but rushing things isn’t going to grant you long term solutions.
In truth, taking your time is of upmost importance, and if you want to overcome problems in your marriage, you have to ask yourself the right questions. This will ensure that you don’t waste your energy and that you don’t suffocate your partner. I’m sure that up until now you’ve been trying to communicate… The more you try to talk about it, the more your partner pulls away!
You have to realize that these problems didn’t just show up out of the blue, (even if you only learned that something was wrong recently and you’ve become so frustrated that your partner can’t even handle it). This is when your partner blows up and lays it all on you. It’s never to late to fix things, but don’t waste time because a breakup could be looming overhead.
In order to save your relationship from common marriage problems, avoid turning to your phone or to social media platforms to post about how much your partner is frustrating or saddening you. Keep your private life to yourself. Everyone will have their own opinion on the subject, and it does not concern them. Besides, involving other people could make your partner even more frustrated. Marriage difficulties are to be dealt with between you and your significant other… and not on the internet or with your family. All this would do is make you feel even more panicked (especially when your loved ones give you bad advice that makes matters worse…)
Every single relationship experiences ups and downs, which means that though things are tough right now, it’s not going to be like this forever. And when times are good, take advantage and appreciate every moment. It’s up to you to focus on the positive aspects and do what you can to forget the bad times and find solutions if issues resurface. Problems aren’t permanent and I want you to enjoy the good times, so that you can have more of them. More often than not, the great times you spend together are what can breathe life back into your relationship!
My main piece of advice is this: consider this situation as a rough patch that will be resolved by bringing positivity back into your relationship. These actions need to target the main needs of all human beings: living in the present moment in order to be happy, feeling valued by their partner so that they can feel more confident, and avoid having crises that can break down your moral. To do so, you’re going to want to make joy the center of your attention.

Marital issues: Why they can be easily overcome

Marital difficulties strike fear in your heart because you’re always feeling like you’re two seconds from separating. You are afraid that you’re going to lose everything you’ve worked so hard to build after all this time. And yet, I want to share something very positive with you today because guess what. You can eliminate problems in your relationship by focusing on the source of the issues and the solutions you can provide.
Our entire life is made up of cycles. Just remember that after a challenging period, things can only be better. When you’re feeling better, it’ll be that much easier to get back in control of your daily life. The crises that you’re currently experiencing will lead to a much more pleasant period… if you make the effort to overcome them now!
All couples experience problems and have to work to find solutions. Unfortunately, very few people think about their role in the situation when this happens… And this is exactly why they encounter a roadblock.
In other words, saving your relationship requires that you get back in control of your own life. Set goals, find balance between work and leisure, children, exercise, family… You will easily be able to spend quality time with your partner (don’t forget that it’s all about quality over quantity when it comes to time spent together!) and bring back the ease and complicity that used to exist in your relationship. Organization is key and a big fight can sometimes clarify things and press the restart button!
Focusing on becoming the very best version of yourself when your relationship is experiencing a challenging period is the most important piece of advice that I can give you. This will help you to avoid suffocating your partner and it will enable you to rekindle the flame in the relationship. There is hope as long as you haven’t already broken up and even if you have, you can turn things around!
 
Best wishes,

Alexandre Cormont
Your coach for avoiding a breakup or a divorce