How men think?
The relationships between men and women are often complex and a certain level of incomprehension is often present! It’s not that there is a war between men and women; it is simply that they don’t always understand one another. Don’t we say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus? You therefore need to understand that dialogue isn’t always simple and you’ve already encountered some difficulty when it comes to being understood. The good news is that you’ve found this article that will explain how men think!
We tend to say that women don’t know what they want, or that it’s impossible to understand them and give them what they want. Ladies, it’s no secret that the majority of men that I coach have trouble knowing what you need and expect. That said, don’t men also have this challenging personality trait? Isn’t it just as difficult to understand men and satisfy their needs and desires?
I will reveal EXACTLY how guys think!
Considering the large number of women that I’ve worked with since 2007 as a result of their difficulties in understanding their partner or the person they’re interested in, the answer to this last question seems simple. I’ve come to understand that you have a lot of questions about men in terms of how to seduce them or how to understand the man you’re with.
As a result of your experiences, your sentimental past, and the other person, questions arise and they aren’t the same for everyone. That said, there are 3 principal issues that I have encountered throughout my coaching sessions.
In order to figure out how men think and be able to get ahead in your love life, you’ll need to learn the three important aspects presented in this article.
How men think: The most important thing to know!
It’s time that you were really, truly happy in love, ladies. You deserve to experience this joy and in order to reach it, you have to take things into your own hands. You’ve already made a positive step by coming to this site. It’s essential to take action, and advice coming directly from a man will present the answer to how he thinks!
What do guys think about: Is sex really that important to men?
In an article entitled “How men think,” there is no way around the subject of sex! Of course one of the main problems that women can run into in relationships is coming across a guy that wants nothing more than some fun in the sheets. You’re looking for something real, healthy, and stable that goes deeper than just physical attraction. This is why you’re wondering if sex is a priority for a man in a relationship. It isn’t always easy to make the difference between a man in love that wants a real relationship, and a sweet talker.
Nevertheless, sex shouldn’t be considered a problem. If you’re familiar with my philosophy and if you read my numerous articles and books, you know that in order to have a solid relationship there is an ensemble of elements that need to be combined. They are all linked and sexuality is definitely a part of it. This explosive cocktail also includes confidence, communication, and quality time spent together.
Sex shouldn’t be the sole priority but it shouldn’t be neglected either. A man has a libido and desires, that will be expressed more often than your own but intimacy shouldn’t be regarded as something negative. It is a way of experiencing pleasure and getting closer!
How guys think: How can you tell when he’s developing feelings?
Generally speaking, when a woman is wondering about the way men think, she wants to know if the person she’s developing a relationship with feels the same way about her. This is a very common problem. You’re unsure of how he feels and so you begin to wonder about how men think in relationship. Keep in mind that men tend to be less prone to expressing what they feel, or at least they do it in a different way than you do which in turn is unexpected. So you wonder if it’s a good idea to invest in a relationship with someone that doesn’t love you as much as you love them.
There are also stereotypes that don’t really help you to give you a good image of the majority of men. They prefer watching the game and spending time with their friends, they only think about sex (hence the first question), they are incapable of being faithful…
Of course, there isn’t smoke without a fire and a lot of men make it easy for people to believe these stereotypes. However, generalizing isn’t going to help you make him fall in love or build a solid relationship. It’s more important to focus on the relationship and forget about what the women around you are saying about their personal experiences (whether it’s your mother, your sister, or your best friends). There are clear signs that show you if he really likes you.
So, if he reaches out to you for news, if he’s interested in what you’re saying and he remembers it, when he makes an effort to present himself well when he knows he’s going to see you, you can be pretty sure that he has feelings for you!
What do men think about love?
When you want to know what men think about love, the answer comes in knowing what this feeling represents for them. The difference between men and women isn’t just biological. We have different views on notions of love and the way we express our emotions is a part of it. While a women often confide in friends, a man tends to remain discrete and keep his sentimental life to himself.
However, you shouldn’t think that having differences makes you opposites. You can have an idea about how a relationship should be and your partner may have a different one, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t reach common ground and build a happy relationship.
Love is just as important to men as it is to women, even if you might not yet be convinced of this. No man wants to be alone. Even the biggest casanovas end up wanting to have a long lasting love story. It’s an incredible feeling that an of course hurt sometimes, but it can bring about the most beautiful emotions in life for both men and women.
How to men think: Is it a bad thing if he isn’t vocal about his feelings?
As I had mentioned above, men and women have different ways of expressing what they feel, and this goes all the way back to evolution. A colleague of mine told me about a course she had taken in evolutionary psychology, and the professor explained that men and women evolved different ways of communication. When our ancestors were acquiring food, the women were the gatherers and the men were the hunters. So think about it. Women worked together with communication in order to find the vegetation they needed, and men needed to stay silent and communicate via actions to find and trap what they were hunting.
So what does this mean for us today? Simply that as a general rule, men tend to communicate more through actions instead of through words. I’ve written an entire article on deciphering whether or not he loves you, but to summarize, instead of focusing on what he says when you’re wondering about how do men think in relationships and in love, focus more on what he does! Does he go out of his way to make you happy? Does he make plans with you? Does he see you in his future? These are all good signs…
Similarly, when men do say what they feel, remember that they tend to be more straightforward and there typically isn’t a double meaning behind what they say. I’ve met a lot of women who have a tendency to ask, “What do you think that means?” after they share what their partner or the person of interest said either in person or in a message. Try not to fall into the trap of overanalyzing because it can make you feel anxious for no good reason. Focus on his concrete actions, and even if he doesn’t say “I love you” all the time, don’t panic. Men are more focused on action, whether the guy realizes it or not. They are also more tunnel-visioned.
If he’s at work and doesn’t have time to talk, he will let you know, but this doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to talk to you. Generally speaking, it’s not that men can’t multitask - it’s simply that they focus on the task at hand.
Keeping in line with the idea of avoiding overanalyzing when working on understanding how men think in budding or full blown relationships, another thing to be aware of is that most men will need some time on their own or with their friends. This is not a negative reflection of you or of the relationship. in fact it’s very healthy and both partners should nurture their personal life so that they can be closer when they’re actually together. Men, like women, typically don’t like the routine, and if he feels like hanging with his friends, it is a good thing to encourage it. Spending some time apart allows you to have more to talk about when you’re together, and to develop a feeling of missing each other and excitement about being reunited.
Understanding men in relationships: How to make him feel good
If you’re wondering what kinds of things make a man feel good and enthusiastic about building a relationship with you, keep in mind this simple idea: A man loves it when you make him feel like a man.
This can be as simple as letting him catch you subtly checking him out, giving him a complement on his biceps, or letting him help you with something. Going back to evolution, men have always been the protectors and hunters, so stroking that primal part of his ego is always well received. Give him a chance to give you a hand with something, even if it’s something small like assembling something you got from Ikea. He’ll like feeling like he’s providing something for you.
That said, it should all be within reason. You don’t want to ask him to do everything for you because that can have the opposite of the desired effect. Men are turned on by women that can take care of themselves, who choose to be with a man (instead of needing to be with a man). This is why I talk about the importance of making sure you’re not emotionally dependent on someone. There is a difference between letting someone help you with someone and needing them all the time.
It’s fascinating to think about how our primal instincts are still within us all… When you want to know how a man thinks, keep it in mind.
Another thing to remember when you’re wondering what men think about, is that as I mentioned above, men do think about sex quite a bit. This is why it’s so easy for them to have one night stands. As a general rule, men have a much easier time separating feelings from physical desire. This of course is also a result of evolution, and the biological imperative to procreate is deeply engrained in the male mind. It’s about survival of the species, and both men and women have this in different forms. But I’m not going to go into a lesson on how our minds have evolved! What I’d like to tell you is that you can still develop a serious relationship with someone, even if it started out as a one night stand.
The trick is to know how to get into his head and understand his needs and desires, and what makes him happy. As I said above, the key to doing so is keeping things fresh and exciting, and never being too needy. If you want a guy to become addicted to you, you’ve got to hold on to a bit of mystery and remain an exciting challenge. Both men and women enjoy a bit of a challenge, and if you think about it, when you’re in the seduction phase that is part of the sexual tension between you. You are working for something, hoping that you’ll get it! But when you’re always at a person’s beck and call, things become less exciting.
I wish you all the best with your relationship, and don’t forget. If you need me, I am here. Don’t hesitate to leave a comment below with any questions you might have, and it would be my pleasure to respond to you personally.
Your coach for knowing how men think,