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What Men Want: How To Be The Woman He’s Always Wanted!

by | May 20th 2019 | 26 comments

There’s no sense in sugar coating it. Today’s dating world is tough! It’s hard to find the right person, and even when you feel like you’ve found someone that you’d like to have a serious relationship with, it’s hard to know what exactly he wants and how to make sure you’re making him happy while staying true to yourself.

I see that many women assume that what men want is sex and nothing more. There are so many clichés out there that it’s not hard to understand why you would feel like it’s very challenging to know what exactly a guy wants and more importantly, how to make him become more attached to you.

Many of my readers and coachees ask me about how a man’s brain works. They want to know what things men look for in women, and some of them even come to me for help in seducing the man they’re interested in. That is why I wanted to write this article for you today. I am going to debunk some of the biggest clichés and tell you exactly what men want and how to use this as a means to make him want you!

Why is it so hard to know what men want these days?!

It may seem that it’s very hard to figure out what guys want in today’s day and age, but the truth is that it isn’t all that complicated.

I know that our society makes everything revolve around looks and sex, but a real, mature man who’s figured out who he is and is grounded and in touch with his emotions is going to want more than that. Sure, there are plenty of guys that are just looking for one night stands, but I wanted to write this article about what men are looking for in a serious relationship.

how to feel sexySo many women come to me because they’re frustrated with the dating game and feel like they have no idea what these guys want. They’ll be dating a guy and everything will be going great until suddenly he pulls away and then ends up calling it quits. Why? What spooked him? Did he see something he didn’t like?

Unfortunately, men in our society aren’t really raised to talk about their feelings and clearly express what they want in a relationship. What’s more, women are fed all kinds of ridiculous ideas by the media about what guys want and how they should act. There are all kinds of clichés about what you need to wear, what you need to say, how you need to act, and the result is that many women are no longer true to themselves.

There are of course many problems with this, but when it comes to dating and relationships, a man will quickly pick up on it (either subconsciously or not) and realizes that the woman he’s dating isn’t authentic.

Each man, like each woman, is entirely unique, so there isn’t one specific “type” of woman that will please them all. This is why it’s so important to be yourself. There is a person that corresponds to you, so don’t act in a way that would make it hard for him to find you!

By the way, women aren’t the only people coming to me asking about what people are looking for in a partner. Plenty of men ask the same question, which means that it isn’t easy for anybody these days!

One thing is for sure – anyone asking about what men want and what women want is looking for the way to make someone fall for them.

So let’s take a look at what exactly men want in today’s day and age. Having a better understanding of what men want is going to help you to attract the right partner.

Why is knowing what men like in women so important?

You aren’t the only person that is wondering which one of your qualities you should highlight and what you need to do to steal a man’s heart. As I said, men are wondering the same exact thing about you!

I’m going to tell you something else when you’re wondering about what men want in a woman, it’s important to know that seduction plays a key role. Women in any type of situation can ask the same question. Some want to know how to understand their husband’s attitude better, and others want to know how to interpret male behavior so that they can have a better grasp of human relationships and attract the right person. In the majority of cases, a woman that is asking “What men really want in a woman” is looking to seduce someone!

This question is often asked as a way to seek reassurance when you’re in love and you’re worried about getting hurt. In fact, when you’re able to get in someone’s head, to understand what they want (and even anticipate what they want), then you considerably increase your chances of making him crave spending time with you…and this is exactly what you need in order to make him fall head over heels in love with you.

It’s true that it’s challenging to fully understand someone when you don’t know them very well… and that’s just because they’re not you!

There are of course mistakes, incomprehension is preconceived notions. Knowing what guys really want in a woman is a way to be confident in what you’re bringing to the table and avoiding making common mistakes that often slam the breaks on the development of feelings.

Wanting to be with a man is also about understanding how to adapt to him (and for him to know how to adapt to you). So if you’re not sure how to proceed, you risk falling into a one-sided relationship even if it’s subconscious. In fact, this is one of the most common reasons why men end relationships: they don’t feel at ease.

By having a head start and showing that you are unlike the rest, you will undoubtedly get a positive reaction from the man you like, and this is exactly what I want for you!

What do men want: 9 things that men are looking for in serious relationships

I base my analyses on concrete evidence and in-depth studies of the people I work with in my coaching sessions. I know how important it is to get into your partner’s or target’s head if you want to really know what men love in women and develop a solid relationship! You need this knowledge and understanding in order to increase the complicity between you make your relationship stronger. Knowing how to provide a person with exactly what they truly want is going to make all the difference.

What a man wants: Your authentic self

I already began to talk about this element in the introduction, but I cannot stress the importance of being yourself enough.

Far too many people play roles just so that they can get the guy they want, and then they don’t understand why the relationship falls apart not long after it began. As I said, the guy is going to pick up on the fact that you’re not being yourself, whether it’s subconscious or not. He will feel that something is off and it’s going to make it hard for him to bond with you on a deep level. The other possibility is that you’ll just get tired of pretending to be someone you’re not and he will no longer recognize you. You see, it’s just not worth it.

One of the things men want most in a partner is her true personality. The person she is when she’s laughing with her friends, the person she is without any makeup on, the person she is when she’s most honest and genuine. Of course, men love women who take care of themselves, and we will get to that, but they don’t want to you to cover yourself up with makeup and a personality that isn’t actually yours just to please him! You are entirely unique and special, so don’t be afraid to highlight your qualities that set you apart from the rest.

What a guy wants: A woman who puts her best foot forward

I can’t write this article without taking a moment to address the fact that men are visual creatures, and are attracted to attractive women. Now, it’s important to note that there are hundreds of different styles, tastes, and preferences, and I’m not saying that you need to try to look like someone else in order to be what men want.

Knowing how to present yourself in the best way possible is key. Taking care of yourself by going to the gym, accomplishing your professional and personal goals, wearing flattering clothes and dressing in a way that makes YOU feel attractive is going to make a big difference. Why? Because the better you feel about yourself, the more confident you are, and this is very appealing to men.

Being the best version of yourself is the easiest way to attract the perfect match for you, and what’s more, this is what men want! They want to be with a woman who is at her full potential and loving life because of it.

A woman that neglects herself and doesn’t feel good in her own body will have a harder time being what men want. It’s very important to find yourself attractive, to have healthy self-esteem, and to see yourself in a positive light, and this is especially true when you want to attract someone. I am a firm believer in knowing how to love yourself before you love someone else because it keeps you from falling into emotional dependence, or putting the person you have feelings for on a pedestal.

What do men want in a woman: Complicity

A man who is looking for a serious partner will want to share everything with her: his passions, his projects, his friends, his family, his life! This is one of the things I insist most on during my coaching sessions. In my opinion, complicity is one of the most important things when you’re trying to make him fall for you(and throughout the entire relationship of course!)

Men want to feel psychological closeness with their partner, so it’s up to you get to know him and learn about what he loves. Figure out what he’s passionate about and invite him to share it with you.

Sharing the things that are important to you brings you two closer and strengthens the bond between you. Men want someone that understands them on a deep level. They want to form a team with the person they’re in a relationship with, so come up with fun activities to do together, and don’t hesitate to share your thoughts and passions with him. Letting him in will encourage him to do the same, and this will strengthen the complicity between you.

What men want from women: It’s not just sex…

Someone who hasn’t had great luck in the dating world might say something along the lines of, “All men want is sex.” While I understand why a person might think this – especially if they’ve recently come across men that do and say everything they need in order to get you in bed and then disappear into thin air, a man that is mentally mature will not think like this.

Sex is important, yes, but it’s not the only thing that men want. It should however be taken into consideration and the flame should not be allowed to fizzle out.

So, when you’re dating someone, keep in mind that relationships need to be kept exciting (for both people!) Make sure you spice things up and don’t allow the routine to settle in. If you’d like to learn some tips on how to keep things fun and exciting in the bedroom, I encourage you to read this right away.

What men want in a woman: Emotional independence

This is a huge one, and I see that many people struggle with emotional dependency. It can be defined by a feeling of needing another person in order to be happy. It leads to clinginess, jealousy, insecurities, and a constant need for reassurance. This is a common phenomenon and it is also commonly the root cause of breakups and divorces.

I’m not telling you this to scare you, but it’s important to understand that men want a woman who is able to have her own life and not rely on him 100% in order to be happy.

When it comes to relationships, I don’t like the saying, “Two halves make a whole.” You are not half of a person. If you want a happy and healthy relationship and really be what men want, you need to feel complete and be confident in what you bring to the table!

What a man wants in a woman: Confidence

This goes hand in hand with emotional independence. No one is perfect and everyone knows that, but men want a woman who is confident in who she is and knows what she’s worth.

They admire a woman who knows when to put her foot down and stand her ground. It shows that she has resolved and isn’t going to bend or be someone else just to please someone.

What’s more, a woman who loves herself despite any shortcomings will also love a man despite his shortcomings as well. It’s all a part of being honest and open and remaining a team.

A real man doesn’t want a trophy. He wants a woman by his side that can complement him!

Men want affection:

Pleasing men in bedroomAs human beings, we appreciate touch, and we appreciate affection. We all need it, whether we admit it or not! Of course, each person will have varying degrees of how much of it they like, whether or not they like public displays of affection, and how tactile they like to be themselves, but when it comes down to it, we all need to be touched.

This can be as simple as touching his hand when you’re talking to show that you’re connected and present. Hugging him when he’s had a rough day, or even offering a message… By the way, did you know that hugging releases oxytocin, AKA the bonding chemical?

Men love spontaneous affection as well, so don’t hesitate to go over to him and surprise him with a kiss.

What men like in women: Honesty and humility

This should come as a no-brainer, but I have to talk about it anyway! A man will want someone who is honest, who can admit when they’re wrong, and who knows how to not take themselves too seriously.

It’s important to know how to put your partner’s happiness before your own (and your partner should do the same exact thing for you). A man can quickly recognize this personality trait and it is very appealing, especially to someone who is looking for a serious relationship.

I often see headstrong people let their ego damage their relationship.

A good rule of thumb is to think about how you want your partner to be, and work to be the same way!

Men want a woman who is ok with them being vulnerable.

I’ve noticed that a lot of men feel that they can’t be vulnerable around their partner because they will be seen as not being “manly.” In fact, I’ve seen this very often, and I can tell you that men want to be able to feel safe in their relationships. All human beings need a shoulder to lean on and of course, he would want that to be his partner.

Some women say that they don’t want to be with a boy, but it’s essential that your partner feels that he’s safe with you.

It’s true that society has taught women as well as men that men need to swallow their emotions in order to be “manly,” but this type of behavior can become unhealthy. Again, think of complicity between you. You’re a team that supports one another no matter what!

As always, if you feel that you would like someone on one guidance, don’t hesitate to get in touch with me personally here, or leave your comment below so that I can respond to your question.

Wishing you all the best in life and love,

Your coach for knowing what men want

Alex Cormont


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    Thanks for your advice

    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Arsene,
      You are so welcome! Thank you for reading this blog. This is the reason I do what I do, when I get these positive overwhelming responses from my viewers.

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      Thank you for all of your wonderful advise. But, what if you are what he wants in a woman, and what he doesn’t want? The current man I have been seeing for 9 months told me that he just wants to be friends. His reasons where as follows: you have meant so much to me these past few months. Have been the light in my recent darkness. Knowing me (him), if we continue, I will fall for you. I just can go through raising children again at this age. So, you see, we are in our 50’s. I am a single mother with a 13 & 5 yr old. I am so confused.

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      Thx for ur grt insights.keep going…doing grt for all.

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    Hi,Alex..first of all I convey my gratitude to you.. for this superb article.. thank you very much for your service..

    • Alex Cormont

      Thank you for your support and for reading this blog. I am so glad you are finding the advice useful and that it will help you improve your love life.

    • Avatar

      Dear Alex sir , seeing ur video “how to avoid getting hurt was really touching .it’s a promise to ur sincere n truthful efforts to keep away from such people .sir I preferred to comment here coz of delicate topic .Sir family shud not hide it if they notice unnatural behavior to avoid others to suffer .such people can’t take failure like common man so let their hurt ego speak about them.Sir u r much intelligent so u can say better . sorry sir if im wrong . Thanks a lot . looking forward to ur articles n videos . waiting for your reply n messages dear sir . lots of love n regards .

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    Ooh I’m so amazed by your work, I love your words of knowledge.

    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Jacqueline,
      Thank you for reading this blog. I appreciate your words of support and encouragement. It’s comments like this that keep my wanting to spread love to the world.

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    I would like to ask you. Besides beauty, is intelligence one of the factors that men like about women? Is it very important in choosing the right partner for you?

    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Catherine,

      Yes, intelligence is an important factor in a relationship, because it shows confidence and understanding. We are all strong in some aspect of our life and finding this strength can also be perceived as an intellectual expression.

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    Thanks Alex, for this awesome advice.

    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Kunti,
      Thank you for reading this blog and for your support.

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    Dear sir ,went through ur great article that man needs.but sir the mistake made by our family s that they say we should accept the good n bad points of a man . Sir I have always been honest , truthful, loyal,trusful in my relationship even then it didn’t work .sex is imp n we all feel it s true to ur words, but if we gv we r taken for granted n if we withdraw n stand grounded that we won’t do ,all sort of insecurities n jealousy come in relation.Sir I’m sharing all my feeling for the first time wid u only coz I feel a real connection of frndship.I m not lucky in matter of love .No positive reaction .But thoughts of guys r so different today . Always stay n touch sir n looking forward to ur messages n replies . Hope my matter s not boring .lots of love n regards . smile please.

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    Very helpful. Sir, I’m in a LDR with a married man. I know the situation is very much complicated still we r together after a NC period of more than 45days. We met again but now he’s back to his town. He’s not in a good shape healthwise. He’s txting very less nd not calling either. I know that he has lot of work pressure also. Just I desire him to be more communities. We know each other from our childhood basically but parted nd again met in 2015. We know that we love each other truly.

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    Hi Alex! A big thank you for this wonderful work honest, faithful and can not be more edifying.

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    Bonjour dear sir .hope you had a good sleep n nw u must b having a busy day .sir as always I went through ur Wonderful article “What men wants”n submitted my comments . hope u like it n will not find boring ..lots of love n regards to you sir .Hv a good day n time everyday . waiting for your reply .

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    Respected sir …I go through all ur videos n don’t miss them as they always teach me .so I saw ur new lesson “How to find a real man ” .I must say it’s u Sir . please don’t feel bad about it .I m saying truly .I wanted to keep this personal .so I said here .once again please don’t mind it. Thanks a lot for your good work . lots of regards to you n love . Have a nice day everyday .Good bless you sir.

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    Dear sir . first of all I thank you for sending such a beautiful article “what men really want” .each n every word u said is so perfectly true .sir I want to know if the girl is truthful , loyal ,honest n even have confidence why the relationship fails .(I’m telling you this coz it has happened to me)n I’m sharing for the first time in my life wid u as I see a true friend in u to whom I can relate . When the girls pulls away when she see the man s taking her love for granted n needy why insecurity n jealousy come in a man, meaning he doesn’t want to loose her .I hope sir u will like the matter . waiting for your reply n message sir and another wonderful article from you.thanks a lot n regards to you . Always stay blessed.

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    Entirely in sync with what was delivered here. Thanks to you once again.

    • Alex Cormont

      Hi M.

      Thank you for reading my blog, How to be the woman he always wanted. I am glad that is was helpful to you and as you said, you found it be in sync to what was conveyed.

    • Alex Cormont

      You are so welcome! Thank you for reading this blog. I’m so glad that you found it helpful.

  14. Avatar

    Hi Alex

    Im in love with someone but haven’t meet him yet and we basically meet on a dating site and we are thousands of miles away and your videos are really helpful to me which i truly appreciate it alot,i have learn so many things and came to realize what has happen with me why can’t I find love.
    Well at this point I’ have to get myself together first.
    But thank you so much.
    God bless you.

    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Lee Ann,
      Thank you for reading my blog, What Men Want. I’m glad that my videos have been helpful, especially the ones dealing with Long Distance Relationship (LDR). Yes, a LDR can be a challenge and it takes a lot of time. I’m glad that you are starting to work on yourself. In doing so, you will find your purpose, which will lead you to the happy/healthy relationship you so deserve.

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About Alex

"What if the true definition of love was not what you thought it was?"
It’s time to make your own.

Alex Cormont

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