Want a private consultation? Call us at 754.230.1416

Why men pull away?

by | October 6th 2018 | 33 comments

In today’s dating culture, we often see that things between two people start out very well and then suddenly the connection begins to evaporate into thin air. You might be dating someone right now and are noticing that he is beginning to pull away. Does this mean the relationship is doomed or is there something that you can do about it? Understanding why men pull away can give you the tools for knowing how to react, what to do, and how to reel him back in!

If that is what you were hoping to learn, you are in the right place! I’m going to explain what goes on in a man’s mind when he begins to pull away in a budding relationship. Then I will discuss what you need to do in order to attract him back, and how you can ensure that he doesn’t lose interest!

Why men pull away when things seemed to be going so well?

Let’s dive right in. I know it’s going to come as no surprise to you, but the number one reason behind men pulling away is fear. Okay, but fear of what?

You were having so much fun together! You have so much in common and every date was full of laughter, flirtation, and those butterflies in your stomach. Just when you felt that you could really see this going somewhere, he began to pull away. Suddenly he’s much harder to reach, he takes more time in responding to you, and he’s not as available for dates as he was in the future. He’s not going out of his way to call you up anymore, and when you do speak on the phone he seems distant if not a bit cold.

Wait, what happened? Was it something you said?

Men pull away for a variety of reasons, so I’m going to list of the most common ones for you. Sometimes it’s based on experiences in the past, sometimes it’s linked to issues of independence, and sometimes it’s closely related to an insecurity.

Let’s take a closer look.

What to do when he can not explain why he is pulling away!

When a woman has been dating a guy for a while and begins to lose interest, she can usually narrow it down more or less what exactly was bothering her. Men pull awayFor example, maybe he was too emotionally immature, maybe they didn’t share the same values, maybe she didn’t feel attracted to him, maybe this personality was too over-the-top… Men’s minds work a little bit differently. I cannot generalize of course, but oftentimes men have trouble pinpointing something that might be turning them off. What’s more, it might actually have nothing to do with the girl and he can’t put his finger on what it is.

I say this because many men pull away because the idea of a serious relationship freaks them out. This can be because of past heartbreak, insecurity stemming from their childhood (sometimes they’ve been taught or convinced that they’re not good enough and have since struggled with allowing themselves to be vulnerable), and sometimes it’s simply because they realize that they prefer to remain single and free.

He is scared to be in love?

I should also mention that I often see men pulling away the moment they realize that they’re developing real feelings for you. This can also happen at the moment you develop real feelings for him! This happens because suddenly there are stakes. A person begins to worry about the outcome and this affects their behavior. They become nervous. Nervousness leads to vulnerability, and a lot of people just don’t know how to handle it.

This is also when people begin to fantasize about a future together. You can begin to come up with scenarios in your mind and feel anxious at the thought of losing him. The result is that you’re no longer in the present moment and you’re no longer getting to know him. Instead you’re fixating on how he feels about you and this will affect your behavior.

Generally speaking, people do not act positively when they see the shift from a fun and charming personality to someone who is always searching for reassurance.

When you recognize someone that you really like – someone that makes you feel good, it’s not uncommon to want to latch on. This often happens without you even realizing it, but it changes your vibe. Trust me, guys can pick up on this. He might not be able to pinpoint what it is exactly, but he might begin to feel that you are clingy.

When a guy feels that you are trying to make this official, he might panic and pull away. So how to stop him from pulling away any further, you ask?

What to do when men pull away!

Women often reach out to me when they start dating someone or when they meet a person of interest, because they want him to invest and are afraid of things not going any further. They start to panic and ask, “Is he pulling away?” This also happens to be the moment in which they begin making mistakes. When you’re in the seduction phase with someone, the most important thing is going to be hold on to your self confidence.

Confidence is key and here is why:

1. When it comes to seducing a person with whom you’d like to construct a solid relationship, you’ve got to highlight your true personality. So many people make the mistake of playing a role in order to make someone fall for them, and it all backfires because the guy realizes that things weren’t genuine.

2. Being truly confident keeps you safe from being needy or clingy, which are characteristics that can make a person run for the hills (especially if it’s so early on in the budding relationship)!

Your thoughts will come true!

Here is where people can get into trouble when they’re asking “Will he ever contact me again?” We know that cutting off contact can be useful if we want to give someone an electroshock, but we tend to forget that it can make matters worse in certain situations. So, if you’ve just started dating someone or talking to someone, 100% Radio Silence is NOT appropriate to your situation!

Why men pull awayThis is simply because neither of you have invested enough to be able to fear losing something yet. I know that is blunt, but it just means that you have to focus on a different plan of action, and you guessed it, it has to do with self confidence.

So, instead of disappearing and cutting off contact with the guy that’s caught your eye, you’ve got to switch your focus to creating the personal life of your dreams. Make headway on your professional projects and goals, go to the gym and get those endorphins flowing, spend time having fun with your friends, try new things, and don’t be afraid to post pictures or statuses about all the fantastic things going on in your life on social media. Don’t reach out to him all the time, and give him the opportunity to wonder what you’ve been up to.

We are now in a day and age where social media can be used as an incredible tool for presenting yourself in a positive light. You just need to make sure that it’s authentic.

People that are living life to the fullest and are happy with themselves leave a lasting impression, and that’s exactly what you want to do with your new love interest!

You need to be a CHALLENGE!

Instead of asking yourself “Should I use no contact to get him back in my arms,” think about how you can show him an image of you and your life that would make it impossible for him to resist. You don’t have to cut ties and disappear, but you can reach out less and make him wonder where you’ve gone. Don’t ignore his messages, but let him make the first move more often. By the way, this isn’t something that you should give up on once you’ve gotten into a relationship with him. The way to keep him hooked on you is actually to maintain a fantastic personal life!

Last but not least, here is the type of text message that can make a huge difference in the situation.

Men who pull away aren’t used to being called out on this type of behavior. In fact no one is. That’s why we see so much ghosting happening in society today. So while you’re working on building your self esteem and living your best life, here is something that you can text a guy who is pulling away.

“Hey, it feels like you’re a bit unsure of what you want right now. It’s totally fine, but I’m going to take some distance.”

You don’t have to use these words verbatim, just to avoid saying things like, “So let me know when you’re free because I’d love to see you again.” Ending your message like this would put all the power back in his hands. You want to assert yourself and remind yourself that you can be in control of the situation. You’re not trying to played detective and figure out what’s going on, you’re just stating the obvious. Be careful with your wording. Sometimes people phrase things anyway the power to the other person!

This type of text message reminds him that you don’t need him, and that you aren’t going to wait around. By the way, men find the opposite of clingy behavior to be extremely attractive.

What NOT to do when he pulls away

I get it. When you keep racking your brain with questions like “Why did he stop texting me,” it’s easy to want to reach out to the person you’re interested in even more… But believe you me – That will only do more harm than good at this stage!

The mistake you should AVOID right now !

The more he is pulling away, the closer you will want to get. You’re currently feeling a Push and Pull phenomenon. Even if your last twenty text messages and twenty phone calls were in vain you want to keep trying until you get a response.

Thinking, “This guy that I really like doesn’t want to talk to me anymore” is incredibly frustrating because you had spent so much time together, you had shared so much, and now it’s not even a breakup; it’s utter and complete solitude. But STILL! You have to be able to control yourself right now. Whatever you do, do not blow up this person’s phone! You’ll have to give him space and avoid initiating conversations for a while.

If you want the chance to get the ball rolling on this again you’re going to have to avoid making certain mistakes. First of all, harassing him won’t do any good. You know, sometimes it isn’t even the communication that you want; it’s just the response. The thing is, nobody wants to talk to someone that makes them feel suffocated. Sometimes you really just have to let some time pass before you start trying to reach out to your “target” again.

Should I ask help from my friends?

Similarly, please don’t send your friends to spy on him or worse still, try to get information out of him.

Avoid putting him on a pedestal. It’s normal that when you miss someone you tend to forget about their flaws, but don’t place him higher than yourself. Remember, focus on yourself right now.

Don’t ask his friends about him. Word travels, you know…

Though I’m sure you know this, I wanted to take this last little section to mention how important it is to not let the emotions you’re feeling make you act in a disrespectful manner towards the person you have your eye on. The fact that he isn’t picking up should never make you insult or threaten him. Oftentimes you become overwhelmed with the desire to tell them everything that’s on your mind because you’re tired of trying so hard without getting any results, and then you get so overwhelmed that it’s hard to control how all of it comes out. Trust me, you don’t want to wind up in this type of situation.

Don’t make this irreparable mistake because it’ll give him a real reason to never contact you again! So despite your frustration, it’s essential to keep your cool and to not blow up at him. And when you do speak, you’ll need constructive dialogue. As I said above, I am here to help guide you every single step of the way so never hesitate to reach out!

I know that this period requires a lot of patience from you, but you’ll be just fine. Fill up your schedule and keep yourself busy. It will help you to keep things in perspective.

Wishing you all the best,

Your coach when he’s pulling away

Alex Cormont

33 Comments

  1. Avatar

    I’ve been w my bf 1 1/2 yr and he was fresh out of a bad marriage. He is a great man but very busy. I am in love w him. He has been very distant compared to where we were a few months ago. We talk daily like it’s routine not because we want to. He is pulling away a lot. Not sure if he wants a friendship or relationship. I think he’s scared to let me in but doesn’t want to let me go either. What should I do?

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Candi,
      Why haven’t you tried having this conversation with him? I think the best thing to do is to back off for a couple days to regroup your thoughts and then see why he has been pulling away. Men typically pull away because of the reasons mentioned in this article but also if you have the opportunity to talk to him then you have to put yourself first in these moments. My suggestion would be to speak with him about this.
      Best,
      Alex

    • Avatar

      Been seeing him for 4 months. He has alot goig on in his work and personal life right now but guess I started to fall and he has sensed it.
      Had a drunk conversation 3 days ago and he said he still wanted to date me but wasnt sure if he wanted to be single or not. I appreciate this maybe due to stress but cant help worrying especially when messages get ignored and replies are shorter and colder than before. It hurts like hell.
      We have a amazing sex life, best ever!
      I’m now stuck between just leaving him alone as my fear is he will think I’m not interested or he will be pleased about this! Or whether to message him to say I’m backing off?! Help!

    • Avatar

      I met a guy online. We had a date about a week later and really hit it off! Every day for the next week we constantly txt each other and spoke on the phone. We then had another couple of dates and everything was just amazing. He was very open and honest with me and told me he had totally fallen for me. I felt the same so I told him. We made plans to spend the following weekend together. A couple of days later, the messages got less and then he cancelled on me. I feel like he has distanced himself. He says he really likes me but I’m not sure if he is just playing with me. I have backed off a bit now and only reply to messages he sends first as I’d rather give him some space. Dont know what to think right now!

  2. Avatar

    Hey there. So I met an amazing man who had recently gotten divorced and who’s been hurt pretty bad. I felt that we had an incredible connection and I could feel that he felt the same. I think he may have gotten scared of where things were heading with us. I brought up feelings to know where we stood with each other and since then he’s pulled away. I haven’t talked to him in over a week now and I don’t know how to handle it. My heart is hurting so bad. I know there’s something special between us and that he just needs time and space but should I reach out and let him know I’m here for him or just leave him alone all together??

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Stephanie,
      Yes, I would suggest for you to leave him alone right now. It’s important to understand if you were giving this man relationship benefits early on and not talk about where this was headed in the beginning could have scared him away. A lot of people start dating without intentions and then when one catches feelings the other may not want that relationship. This has a lot to do with why men pull away. Right now just pull away as well and if he comes back change your dynamics with him a bit. If not, take this as something to learn from. Wishing you the best!
      Best,
      Alex

    • Avatar

      Hello, ok so I met this guy a couple months back. I’m the beginning all went well until I had a couple of silly moments due to drinking but wasn’t nothing to serious well according to him it didn’t sit well with him so we had got into a couple of arguments and had some disagreements but still remained seeing each other. There was one day that I was over his house and he was being really rude and different with me so it made me feel some type of way hurtful so eventually I went home later that day and was very upset at the moment like how could he just act like he don’t care!!!! I texted him later hang day and said somethings I should have not said and that was the end of it that’s how is ended not on good terms. It’s been a months are so since I’ve reached out to him finally I did and it’s been rejection ever since due to all this I had a birthday present for him but didn’t get the chance to give it to him what do I do in this situation just leave it alone are reach out one last time and let him know if we can meet up because I have something for him!!???

  3. Avatar

    Hi Alex,
    Thank you for your knowledge and also your YouTube videos are great. I was dating a man for two months and things were great! We never had a relationship talk because I didn’t want to scare him. I asked him to come to a show with me last week and I haven’t heard from him in a week. He just pulled away and ghosted me. Why men pull away is something I just don’t understand. How do I get him back? My heart hurts.

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Erika, you are facing a difficult situation and I am sorry for you. Men will pull away when they are not ready for a relationship or because the attraction is over. You can book a private coaching session to work with me. I need more detail but I can tell you that you were scared and you need more confident to be able to discuss what you want without to scared him…

  4. Avatar

    Here’s my philosophy, when a man walks away and is pulling back, you WALK away. Leave him alone. Who has time for this nonsense dealing with grown men that can’t just be men? Not me. No thanks.

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Thank you Sylvia for your comment. I do agree with you but sometimes there is a lot of love and it’s important to be careful about every decision. thanks for sharing your vision 🙂

  5. Avatar

    I’ve been seeing a guy for about six months. He was very insistent on presuming me. He drop hints saying he felt there was more than like between us. He broke it off a few months back and I left him alone. He came back groveling saying he missed me and how the intimacy we shared was the most emotions he had ever felt. I ignored him and he contacted again saying he was scared. I said of what? And he said of you not loving me back. I met with him after that and he profusely apologized and said he was scared of falling in love with with me but it was too late. Made no sense. I got back with him and he continued on but was a little less persistent although contacting all the time. The last time I saw him was before Christmas and he brought me a thoughtful gift. He didn’t contact again until Christmas Day saying merry Christmas. Then no contact until New Years when i wrote him happy new year. Now nothing, I’m staying away but what gives…

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Hello Gladys, I think this guy is playing with you. It’s not that he is pulling away but more that he is not trustful. If you want to know more about men, you need to look if their words are matching their actions. He is giving you a lot and then nothing. You have to be careful with this type of behavior. Best. Alex

  6. Avatar

    Hello
    I’ve met this charming guy who we both were communicating he was chasing me and suggesting all dates and got me gift I felt he is emotionaly attracted way more than me, but he have a bit ego cause I told him once why he didn’t send me Vedio of his newyyear celebration he said why i didn’t send him, any way after we kissed for the first time where i was always resisting after that day he we both became distance I was a bit more cause he called me to break the ice I was a bit cold cause he didn’t speak for 4 days on the conversation 2 days after I sent him breakfast? Suggesting to meet he said he is by the beach so I went silent for another week we both interacting very vey rare carefully both are insecure and have too much ego, week after he texted me how are I replied so sweet still he didn’t ask to see me and didn’t any single move.. I feel stuck it’s been 20 days like that

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Hello Palak, thank you for your comment. My question is: why don’t you try to communicate without fears? I feel like you can have regret to not be yourself. Maybe it’s time to just forget that he pulled away and talk to him more to create chemistry?

  7. Avatar

    I’ve been casually seeing a guy we both made it clear no future plans but over the course we’ve been seeing each other he tends to go through cycle of interested then pulls away I’ve always just let him have his head sometime it can last months. Anyway this time I had enough feels like mind games I ended up removing him and deleting his number. I feels like it backfired on me like I have to apologise and tell him I’m still there waiting but realise that makes me sound pathetic. Is it worth waiting around now for him claw his way back and get back in contact or safe to say I’ve burnt my bridges with him?

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Sarah, we need to have a coaching session. It’s very important to talk about your situation and to give you some solutions!

  8. Avatar

    Hi- I have been dating a guy for little more than a month. We were on a weekend getaway on our third date and had an amazing time. He did not miss one chance to show me a good time all along. Everything looked so nice and good until then. After we were back from the weekend getaway, he pulled away. Right from the very next day. He would not initiate conversations but would respond (promptly) to my texts but they are utterly short and he just would say work’s keeping him tied down which i know for a matter of fact is not true. So the 1st day i reached out to him, he said he was busy & get back later. The second day i reached out he did respond but short and disinterested. The 3rd day i chose not to reach out. The 4th day i did reach out and came out a bit angry but he again would say he was busy. I do not reach on day 5 & on 6th day i wanted to play it cool so just asked very nicely if we can catch up for a bit if he’s available. To which he instantly responded that he’s not available for the next couple of weeks since he’s tied with work and so he’s not sure and also said he’s sorry & he’s just been running around. I responded saying i understand and this can wait until he’s done with his things and asked him to take care. So that was 2 days back after which i never reached out & neither did he. I just want to know where i stand. I am confused and ofcourse devastated. Can you help me get some perspective?

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Hi JJ,
      I’m sorry this is happening. It seems like this man is hiding something or is not wanting to commit as much as you do. What I’m seeing here is excuses. You need to hold yourself to a pedestal and understand you should not be treated like this. I would not reach out again and if he reaches out really re-consider his intent and don’t be too quick to jump when he reaches out. Hope this helps and stay strong!
      Best,
      Alex

  9. Avatar

    I met a European guy online (I’m Asian) through a professional site. He reached out to me, introduced himself and said he wanted to get to know me. We have known each other for more than a month now. At first, I was just answering his questions (if I had a family, what my hobbies were, etc.) I was sort of going with the flow.
    When we moved our conversations to a free messaging service, he cancelled his profile on the professional site (not sure of the reason why he did that). He’s divorced with young children, while I am single without children.
    Normally, I wouldn’t give a chance to a divorced man, even more so to someone who’s already a father because I thought it would be complicated. However, as our conversations continued, I realized I enjoyed talking to him, and I really liked his honesty.
    He is also very romantic. I realized that I am already falling in love with him, something that surprised my friends, since I am the type of woman who does not fall in love easily. We have been chatting regularly but then lately I realized that it was mostly me who initiated the conversations, but he always replies almost immediately whenever I message him, and he is always very sweet.
    He sends me at-the-moment pictures of himself while at work or at home, but I only sent him a picture of myself once (aside from my profile pictures that he already had).
    I am wondering if the reason why he no longer initiates our conversations is because he is already confident that I will always be the one to initiate, or has he already lost his interest in me?
    Right now, I am refraining myself from messaging him any further because I want to make sure that he misses me too.
    My question is, should I continue not messaging him first, or should I go ahead and continue being sweet to him even if he no longer initiates?

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Amee,
      Thank you for reading my blog. I think he is going to contact you. If not you continue being the sweet and nice person you are.
      Best,
      Alex

  10. Avatar

    I met this guy in early June in a class. I followed him first on ins but he asked me out. We’ve dated seven times in the past one month so far and it all went well, especially the last three. (It’s much more freedom since it’s summer and we are in college) We ate lunch, dinner, went to park, watched movie, went to museum and went shopping together. I really liked him but we didn’t engage in any intimate behaviors. I went to his place and he went to my place already as well. But I haven’t heard back from him for a week now and I feel like his pulling away all of a sudden. I texted him only once this week. He replied in two hours but didn’t seem like wanting to engage in it. I gave him a cake and he shared an ins story about it. I’m not sure if I should just wait for him to come back to me at this point or would he come back to me at all.

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Jessie,
      Thank you for reading my blog, “Why men pull away?”. I recommend you give him some time. Take the time to do some personal self growth and if you are meant to be together, you will find your way back to each other.
      Best,
      Alex

  11. Avatar

    I been dating this guy for about two months, I first meet him when he came to my country, we heat it up relay quick we were meeting every Day almost for two weeks but then he have to go back to his country but we still stayed in contact, he have a very busy life but he still make time to call me almost every other day and I do the same but lately it seems like I am the only one who calls or texts and when he does text back it seems very superficial so I have not called or texted him for a week and He did not contact me either. Should I give up in him and move on

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Hi May,
      Thank you for reading this blog. LDR are a challenge. Take this time to do some personal development so you can attract the happy and health relationship you so deserve.
      Best,
      Alex

  12. Avatar

    Hi Alex, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 1.6 years. At the beginning he was always trying so hard for me, I didn’t fall for him until I knew I could trust him, he gave me a promise ring and he told me he will marry me the year after. However it was after 8 months of being together in a relationship that we started arguing and everything. Sometimes our fights would get really bad we wouldn’t talk for 3 or 4 days. He does love me but he is working and we’re both on our early 20s. He wants to focus on his work and he thinks sometimes I’m stressing him out. Whenever I’m with him his so happy and never wants to leave me but as soon as we have small fights he feels so distance from me. He says he only wants to be happy with me and always just have good times, but how can we solve problems if he pulls away everytime we argue now. What do you think it’s best for this suitation ?

    Reply
  13. Avatar

    he pulled away and I have a strong feeling he is replacing me, he lost interest.

    We are in distance relation, but we work together and on daily basis.

    Last time we met we had a big fight where he was only convinced its my mistake, we talked and we agreed that no one will give up but we will be in the grey area “ we love each other but not together”

    And now after a month we barely talk outside work, he does everything that bothers me. Im dying everyday slowly. There is no closure.
    Asked him once to talk without mentioning the topic, he said ok but didnt answer his phone or apologize for not answering or schedule it later.

    Wanted to send a message to express my feeling and make a closure, but found myself too week to do it.

    I cannot focus at work, always want to be alone ! But always go to bed heavy hearted, tight chest and crying.

    Shall I insist talking to him? Or send a text message?

    I just want to feel better

    Reply
  14. Avatar

    Hello Alex,
    It’s not that I don’t know why he pulled away. But of course the way it feels and HIS emotional numbness from one day to the next make me struggle a lot right now.

    I am mainly travelling this year. Met him 2 months ago while he was one a vacay in the country I stayed for longer. He told me, he was in the process of divorce since 1.5 years. She cheated on him and since then she has changing partners or maybe now one boyfriend (not quite sure). They have a 2yo kid together. He is taking care of the kid every day after work because she prefers to party and stuff.

    However. I was very attracted to the way the treated me from the first night and he made me feel very special. He invited me to his /city/country.
    On my way travelling home i visited him. He picked me up at the airport with a bunch of roses and a paper in welcome sweetheart (translated to my language – i’m European). Never in my life a man treated me like that.

    Few days after I had to travel home. We agreed to keep in touch. That was 1 month ago. During all the time we texted every day from the good morning, in between. Like that I learned he has lot of stress caused by his job responsibilities and cause he’s feeling guilty in front of his child. And his ex doesn’t agree to a date for the final court date.

    After 3 weeks my travelling journey continued. I had to pack for my next destination. I didn’t feel ready, because I’d rather travelled back to him.

    Anyway…sometimes he called….sometimes he was drunk and almost crying telling me he misses me (I know what people say about men calling drunk).
    The last time this happened (not drunk) he asked me to come back to him first and then travel to my destination. That wasn’t possible for me.

    Later in the conversation we sexted a little bit. I don’t question if that was right or wrong he never did it before and never did he. Just saying that we exchanged some pictures in trust. (not pornography).

    Few days later he texted me at night that while he was in his old house (where ex and daughter live. He lives in a hotel since 1.5 y) came across an envelope with all the memories he kept. things he did with his wife. from vacations, little notes everything. And that he cried a lot.

    From this day everything changed. He said he hated the fact, that he might still have feelings for his ex. (which is treating him like the last person on earth).

    Two days later, after he said he doesn’t wanna think about anything anymore and he would know what he wants anymore.

    I stopped texting. I never became emotional or accusing. I actually think I had myself extremely under control (for the first time when it come to men).

    Exactly after one week he texted me (meanwhile I checked out your videos about radio silence and I thought it would take him or me longer to text).

    He apologized for the radio silence and I said I thought he will text when time is right. His answer was: I guess time will take its time.

    After 3 days he travelled home to see his parents for few days (I didn’t go back since the separation and until today the family doesn’t know WHY the get divorced).

    I really wanted to stay under controle and not get emotional. But I started a new thing abroad an that monday he came back from silence…and needed all my energy to settle in the new country…but my mind was with him. I know he is not ready…I know it.

    Before he left for the airport, while he was getting ready, he sent me a selfie. He looked so sad. And I could see he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Meaning it was a picture with a personal “content” not a superficial smiley smiley pic. It really touched me. This was the last time he called me “hun”.

    Since he was caught up with his family i kind of lost him.
    I knew he needed the time with them. But at the same time i started to feel very low.
    I asked me whats happening. But his answer was “I don’t know what to say”
    But anyway, I am just a message away.

    ….and I could’t hold back anymore. Next morning I texted, that I appreciated it. But the thing was that I have feelings for him and I missed him. and I know I shouldn’t say it. But I couldn’t do anything else anymore.

    I think I won’t hear from him anymore. Since he is so numb. I guess he crawled back into his shell……

    I just don’t understand how he can be so warm and caring and one day later like an ice cube.

    Maybe you can explain…….?! :—(

    Thanks a lot!
    Flor

    Reply
  15. Avatar

    My husband decided to end the relationship after 14+ yrs. We have two beautiful children and for me he’s the one I want to grow old with.
    He basically friendshipzoned me without any pre-warning, that’s what he said, but it feels like we’re not done yet. That we have a future still together as a couple. The sexual energy and attraction is so strong between us, yo can almost see it sparkling. Some things could’ve been better between us in the past few years, I know. But he’s such an amazing man and I’m so not ready to let go of him.

    Reply
  16. Avatar

    Hi, I recently met one guy from online dating app. We like each other. We had 4 dates. He didn’t initiate any text first but if I sent him msg, he replied and had conversations all day. Last time I stayed his place, after that day, he pulled away and didn’t reply me fast as usual. I said you changed and I was upset to him. He said he can’t commit it properly and he likes hanging out with me but he is not sure. Previously he said he doesn’t like people often because he got hurted from his ex. So I said we can be just friend for a while until you figure out, he said fine. He still asks to meet up when I’m available. But he doesn’t send my any text and I feel he doesn’t want to involve any conversation with me. So we are going to meet next Friday but since last Sunday we haven’t talked each other. I don’t know I should ask how he is or just leave him until he contacts me back. He is very keen on to meet. But I’m not sure what his mind is. What do you think.

    Reply
  17. Avatar

    I met a guy over Facebook about 4 months back,we connected like no one else,the bond is extremely good and we share everything we in a long distance be stays 4 hours away,I went to meet him one and all went well ,after that he was talking marriage and futures be would include me in ever choice and we always support eachother in everything .everything was perfect till a few days back we did a video call and he was laughing at something I was upset and ended the call..I conveyed my feelings and he says I’m just thinking about it too much ,I feel in my gut his ignoring me no more text like be used to I keep my distance n I see he makes the first first move by texting but be not the same as always I don’t Wana come on as strong and overbearing it’s been 3 days but I feel like I need to tel him my thought and leave it as is I don’t know if I should because before he told me I’m just being crazy…I don’t Wana lose him what do I do ,do I tel him once and for all this is my last chance step up or step out

    Reply
  18. Avatar

    I’ve been dating a guy for a few months, though we haven’t had the define the relationship talk. He sends me several texts a day, talks about things we can do in the future, took time off work to go on day trips and rescheduled things with his family to have a date with me. All signs that he’s into me right? Last week he invited me over to his place for the first time and after we watched some Netflix we made out and came close to having sex but stopped just short of it. I told him that I really like him but can’t think of anything else that might have spooked him but now I haven’t heard a word from him in a week. Not a word. I haven’t texted him in case he wants space but now that he knows how much I like him have I take. The fun out of it for him by making it not a chase anymore? What do I do? Please helllllp! He’s the first guy I’ve liked since me and my ex broke up 3 years ago and I started online dating.

    Reply
  19. Avatar

    Hi, Alex! I’ve been with this guy for almost 2 years and we always connected everyday since we are in LDR.. We met several times and he brought me to his big family in his hometown.. Lately he seems like pulling away since the last time we argued about small thing. I thought we cleared the air bcs I have explained everything and apologized and he said “it’ okay.” and I was so panic when he dissapeared and went silent after he said “okay” before. Then I texted him, I asked him, I begged him, I told him that it was hurt to me that he went silent after a small argument. Then he told me “don’t worry, don’t think about it. I am just having a me time.” then he pulling away again and going no contact with me. Alex, I need your help.. Do you think he really mean what he said that I should not worrying things? Should I not contact him? Do you think he will comeback to me? Please help me… thank you so much!

    Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

About Alex


"What if the true definition of love was not what you thought it was?"
It’s time to make your own.

Alex Cormont

Special offer


Discover the 20 secrets to find happiness in love

About Alex


Products


Coaching


Share