I feel lonely: 3 techniques for getting rid of this feeling!
Despite all the different means of communication and all the technological advances that facilitate being in touch, millions of people are affected by loneliness. It is a phenomenon that I encounter on a regular basis during my sessions with my clients. Many men and women come to me saying, “I feel lonely,” and contrary to what you might think, they are not always single. Many of my clients feel lonely even though they’re in relationships and may even have children. Though there are many reasons behind why a person may feel alone, there are also very many ways to fight this feeling that can lead to profound unhappiness.
Before we go any further, I want to specify that I’ve written this article for women that are feeling lonely, but the advice I’m going to share is just as applicable to men. So, gentlemen, if you are feeling sad and lonely, you will benefit from this article as well. The feeling of solitude is a very harmful sensation that a person can encounter at any point in their adult life. However, I know that many people that are reading these lines have an active social life with great friends, and they may even be in a relationship. This doesn’t mean that they aren’t affected by the feeling of being alone and the pain that goes along with it. There are many reasons that can explain why a woman can begin to feel sad and alone. This is precisely what we are going to explore in today’s article, but we are going to take it a step further. I have designed actions for women who are single or in a relationship that are feeling completely alone so that they can usher happiness and well-being back into their lives. You are holding the cards so that you can get rid of this feeling once and for all, and I am going to reveal where it’s coming from and what you can do about it!
I feel lonely: How to define this painful feeling
“Alex, I feel lonely. Something… someone… is missing from my life!” This is a phrase that I hear almost every day and it was a bit hard for me to hear. In today’s day and age, it’s relatively simple to spend quality time with friends and meet new people. But after having been confronted with my clients’ solitude so often, I understood that these things aren’t as simple as one might think. It’s in part due to the fact that we don’t all live in big cities, but also the fact that once we pass a certain age, it becomes harder to meet new people with whom we have a lot in common. Of course, I’ve also experienced periods during which I didn’t feel so great, I couldn’t seem to find anyone who understood me, and I was thinking, “I’m feeling lonely,” but the context was different. When Catherine, a forty-year-old woman with two kids got in touch with me, told me what she was going through, why she felt alone and how it was damaging her everyday life, I realized that it’s not the same as a young single guy who can go out on whichever evening he pleased. Nevertheless, there is no sense in feeling sorry for yourself or coming up with excuses because you know it’s going to be hard anyway.
A solution exists for every single problem, so you have to remember that efforts must be made, and sometimes you’ll have to try over and over again. Everything happens for a reason. I go more in-depth on the subject in my book, The Code of Love, and you can learn all kinds of different ways to meet people. In order to understand why you’re feeling so lonely and why this is such a common phenomenon in the people that come to me for help, I simply asked them to tell me the negative emotions that they’re feeling. Whether they’re in a relationship, single, on a break, or in any other type of situation in their love lives, here are the top seven:
1. I feel lonely because I can’t seem to find a partner
2. My guy doesn’t understand me
3. I have a hard time expressing my emotions
4. I’m afraid of being judged so I remain alone
5. I keep everything to myself
6. People take me for granted, especially at work, and I feel isolated because I have no relationship with my colleagues
7. I’m always there for other people but no one is ever there for me
As a result, we see that a woman who is saying, “I feel really lonely in my life,” isn’t only referring to issues related to being single or not having enough friends… It often goes much deeper than that. It’s an emotional block that can’t be resolved from one day to the next. The solution isn’t seeing more people or having one-night stands. The ideal thing to do is to spend more quality time with people that have a considerate attitude.
Feeling lonely and sad: Where is this coming from?
Very often, people that feel lonely say that this goes back to their childhoods because they had trouble making friends and being appreciated. However, your childhood and upbringing aren’t the only things that can explain why you’re feeling lonely today. There are other elements that must be analyzed if you want to define the best solution to your problem. When you feel alone and sad, there is a concrete reason, so you have to fight against it at all times.
I’m feeling lonely because I’m single
Of course, being single is a common reason behind the feeling of loneliness. Day after day, it becomes harder and harder to come home after a long day at work and find no one. Human beings aren’t meant to be alone or to live in solitude, and it’s perfectly natural to want to wake up in someone’s arms. This feeling is accentuated once you pass a certain age and you want to have kids, but are having trouble finding a serious partner.
The famous “biological clock” is not a myth – and some women can become quite obsessed with the notion. So in order to overcome this feeling of solitude, you have to be careful with precipitating things. If you want to meet someone quickly and get rid of this feeling, you have to be careful. Some men want to take advantage of the situation and what’s more, the “need to be in a relationship” can give rise to something more serious: emotional dependency.
So I don’t want you to view the presence of a guy in your life as the miracle solution for combatting loneliness. Even if you feel really lonely, don’t settle for the first guy that comes along! Make sure you have standards!
I feel lonely in my relationship: How is this possible?
Feeling alone in a relationship sounds a bit contradictory, I know, and not everyone can understand this, but it isn’t that uncommon. If there are more and more breakups and divorces, it’s often because a person no longer feels appreciated and they no longer feel complicity in the relationship. Moreover, it’s also possible to feel a lack of communication and understanding between the two partners which leads to tension and the lack of desire to spend time together.
There is no longer any exchange of positive or negative things, and many couples experience this. You’re with someone who isn’t that interested in your desires and your expectations, who doesn’t make much of an effort despite yours (or lack thereof!) A routine can also settle in, a lack of shared projects and the relationship can transform into two roommates living under the same roof.
I feel alone after an emotional shock
Sometimes, when you’ve just thought to yourself, “I feel lonely,” it’s because you’ve gone through something psychologically or physically stressful. Let me tell you about Catherine, the woman I wrote about at the beginning of the article, again because she really left a mark on me. She was feeling alone because she had had a miscarriage, and she was running out of chances to have a child. She of course became very solitary, wasn’t able to open up to her husband or to her mother, and she didn’t know anyone who had experienced what she was going through. She had trouble opening up about it because she felt like the subject was taboo.
On top of that, she was beginning to be taken over by fear of the thought of never knowing the joy of being a mother, and the doctors weren’t doing much to make her feel any better about her prospects. Without even realizing it, she became rather antisocial because she was afraid of being judged. She lost her self-confidence and was afraid of being seen as a bad wife. She didn’t feel like a true woman.
Solitude was both a refuge and a punishment because her loved ones couldn’t understand. She wasn’t sharing her thoughts and feelings with anyone and the only solution was to work on personal development. To succeed in doing so, she was going to have to get through a painful step: Accepting what happened.
When you feel alone because of your personal or professional life
Another possible reason behind why you’re thinking, “I am feeling so lonely” is connected to a personal life that is not bringing you any joy. So not only are you going to feel alone, you’re also going to feel like you aren’t useful. This complicates matters because it makes you pull away from others. When you’re feeling dissatisfied with your professional life, and when you’re feeling a lack of self-confidence, it’s perfectly normal to feel lonely. You might think that no one has experienced what you’re going through, so you prefer to keep it to yourself and not open up to anyone around you.
What to do when you feel lonely!
You’re probably wondering about what to do when you feel alone… So the first thing I’d like you to tell yourself is this: You can overcome loneliness! It’s not the end of the world. You can get through this, and the fact that you’re reading this right now means that you’re determined. I am going to give you some tips based on your situation – whether you are feeling neglected by your partner, or if you’re single.
Is finding love the answer when you are feeling lonely?
The solution for being single and lonely is obviously finding love. This is what you’re thinking, but is this truly the right answer? When you’re feeling sad and alone, and you want to find love, you often end up going too fast and you call into serious emotional dependency.
So my advice to you is this: Practice talking to guys. I am not saying that you should date the first guy you meet, but practice talking to guys so that you can work on flirtation, meeting new people, and feeling less isolated. It will also help you to get more comfortable with talking to new people. With time, you will meet someone interesting and you can see where it goes! I can help you to find the right person and make him truly want to commit while making sure that you don’t make the mistake of rushing things. It’s important to have a solid personality and I can help you with many different exercises that I’ve created. You won’t have to ask yourself, “Does he like me?” You’ll be certain that he does! One of the biggest tools you have at your disposal is dating apps. If you would like to learn about some of the best free dating apps available to you, I highly recommend you check out this article!
What to do when you are lonely in your relationship
So, what do to when you’re lonely? Nothing and just wait around? Break up and abandon this relationship? These solutions are not the right ones… You have to create solid complicity between you and your target/significant other, and this will require that you make an effort.
You can’t just sit back and expect things to happen all on their own with the flick of a magic wand. By reestablishing communication, breaking the routine, and doing fun things together, you’ll be able to rekindle the flame. You have to change your habits so that you can get out of this situation and thanks to these changes, you’ll be able to breathe life back into your dwindling relationship and make it better than ever!
How to not feel alone by focusing on personal development
A large part of loneliness can be fixed by bringing more joy into your personal life. You don’t need to jump into a relationship with the first guy that comes along if you’re struggling with loneliness. You need to have your own projects and goals that you’re working on in order to feel better. Boosting your self-confidence is going to really help you to no longer feel alone! It will give you the energy you need to get out there, do more things, meet new people, and feel more fulfilled in your life.
By having a truly satisfying social life and being proud of your projects and accomplishments, you’re going to feel stronger and more positive the moment you wake up in the morning. In a few weeks, you’re going to improve the situation and find peace in your daily life! As always, I am here to help, so don’t hesitate to reach out.
Your coach when you’re thinking, I feel lonely,