Why do I still love him: The 5 main reasons you still feel this way today
Breakups are tough. No one is truly immune to the pain that comes with a broken heart, even if they do a great job of hiding it. Everyone requires a different amount of time for healing, which is why it seems like some people get over it so fast and it takes others months or even years! Nobody enjoys this painful period, and many people come to me for help with accelerating the process. They say, “I don’t understand why I still love him after everything that happened. I’m hurt, I’m angry, and I want to move on… But I still feel so attached to him. Why? And what do I do about it?”
You are probably wondering the same thing, and you’re in luck. You’ve found an article that will go over why you’re feeling like this and how you can bounce back! Many people struggle with the feeling of attachment to someone who has broken their heart and ended the relationship.
I don’t want you to beat yourself up over this. We are all human and it’s a perfectly natural thing to still feel attached to someone you shared so much with! That said, you don’t have to remain stuck in this period because I’m going to show you how to get back on track and find happiness once again!
Why do I still love him after he broke my heart?
Everyone knows that breakups hurt very badly. People often make the mistake of assuming that only the person who was broken up with gets hurt, but the feeling usually goes both ways. This is especially true when the relationship had been serious and you were able to develop many special memories together. You might even be wondering, “Why do I still love him” because you were the one who pulled the plug on the relationship. It doesn’t matter who ended it, you both still lost the relationship, and it hurts. So why exactly do you feel like you still love him and still miss him even after everything ended? People often ask me why the pain of a broken heart is so acute and why they still feel so attached to their ex-boyfriend or ex-husband. The simple answer is that you had developed an idea of a happy future with this person, and you are currently mourning the loss of that as well. What’s more, you have shared many precious moments that brought you closer together and you are also mourning the loss of that.
Feelings don’t just disappear overnight, and you cannot rush the healing process. That said, is very important to understand the difference between feeling something and dwelling on it. When you are experiencing something deeply painful and you are thinking, “I still love him,” it is of upmost importance that you do not try to suppress your feelings. Sure, there is a time and a place for everything and you might not want to be sobbing while you’re in an important meeting with your boss, but it is important that you find a moment to let your feelings out. Allow yourself to be sad and accept that you are still working through some feelings that need to be let out. It can be at home alone, or with your best friend that has always been there for you. Keeping things bottled up or lying to yourself for too long can really backfire and you can wind up with an unprecedented surge of emotions that proves to be exceedingly difficult to get under control! I have seen this time and time again in people who refuse to face their true feelings because they find them to be too frightening. Many people don’t want to face reality and prefer to hide away from the truth instead of ripping the bandaid directly off.
The problem is that not accepting your feelings only prolongs the pain. If you face them, you can pinpoint where exactly they’re coming from and what you need to do about them! If you feel like crying, do it. Even if you end up turning lobster red and go through an entire box of tissues, let it out of your system. The sooner you do it the better. Allowing yourself to dwell on this feeling is a very different thing. Some people enjoy wallowing in self pity and while we are all human and sometimes this happens, it’s up to you to keep it in check. You will not get over breaking up and heal if you isolate yourself and go through old photos of you together. There is no sense in twisting the knife in the wound and preserving this painful part of the process! What you must understand is that you are actually in control of how long this period will last. Now, if you are thinking “I still love my ex-boyfriend and want to get back together,” there are various actions that you will need to set into motion.
I still have feelings for my ex and I want to get back together
Take the time to truly reflect on the situation and think about whether or not you want to get back together with your ex. If the answer is yes, I want you to think about why. I’m asking you to do this because many people feel like they want to get back together with ex but do not realize that it is actually because they do not want to be alone. If you feel that you might be experiencing any form of an emotional dependency, I invite you to click the link, or to get in touch with me directly. If deep down you know that this is the man for you and that you are willing to do what it takes to get back together, there are some steps to follow.
First of all, you need to analyze the situation and pinpoint what exactly lead to the relationship’s demise. I am fully aware of the fact that assessing the relationship and the breakup are not easy things to do because they require some introspection that might hurt a bit, but this is very important. Be very honest with yourself and think about what reasons your partner gave for ending the relationship, or what reasons you had for doing so. If you were the one that was let go, do you feel that your ex partner’s reasoning was valid? Do you feel that there are improvements that you can make in your personal life as well as in how you behave in relationships? I do want to mention that you need to be careful that you don’t end up blaming yourself.
A relationship is comprised of two people and if it ended, you both played a role. What I am saying here is that you need to make sure that you pinpoint what may have been the source of the breakup, and that you work to figure out long term solutions for the future. Right now, and especially because you’re still in love with your ex, it would be beneficial to put some space between you. Depending on your situation, you might need to use the radio silence technique, or you might just need to take a little bit of space. There are two goals behind doing so:
1. You are giving yourself time and space to think about what happened in the past that led up to this point, and what has to happen now if you’re going to restore your relationship with this person.
2. You are going to give your ex the opportunity to miss you. He is used to having you around and knowing that he can talk to you whenever he feels like it.
By no longer being available to him, he’ll begin to feel a void in his life and want to know what you’re up to. While you’re in this period, it is your job to work on making your life as amazing as you’ve always wanted it to be. This means hitting the gym, trying new activities like surfing or yoga, getting some new clothes, getting ahead at work, bringing your personal and professional goals to life, going on that trip you’ve been wanting to do for years… Do the things that bring you joy and on top of feeling a million times better, you will attract your ex like a moth to a flame.
People who are living happy and satisfying lives are like magnets. If you aren’t sure about what you want, just keep taking your time thinking about it. It’s important to trust your gut! By the way, you don’t have to hate your ex in order to move on from him. It’s not as black and white as either being happy together or hating each other and never speaking again. Yes, getting an ex back will include an aspect of personal development. If you want to get back together with a person that decided to leave, you’re going to have to make some changes (which are sometimes quite simple) and you’re going to have to become the best version of yourself. I’m not saying that you must throw everything away today, but you can do better and you can do more. In order to get your ex back and begin a more stable, serene, and serious relationship, you’re going to have to set tangible actions into motion. It goes without saying, and I feel that this is a fundamental element both in this situation and in any questions related to human relationships, that you’ve got to differentiate between actions that will help you to move towards your goal and those that will do the exact opposite. It is therefore crucial that you fully understand what your ex is feeling, and in turn be able to adapt each technique. If you want to move on and stop feeling love for your ex, you’re also going to have to focus on improving your life. It is the key for getting back in control of the situation and your emotions!
Now you know that there are many actions to set into motion and you can always count on me to help you whenever you need. You’re not alone and I will do everything in my power to help you design and carry out the most effective action plan! If you’d like to remain up to date, don’t hesitate to follow my Facebook profile. Just search Alexandre Cormont. You also have all of my other articles on over 1,300 subjects at your fingertips.
I am wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you’re thinking, “I still love my ex”