Will he come back: 10 signs that point to YES!
The pain of a breakup is felt by both sides. It is one of the most painful things we can experience as human beings. It feels so hard to accept that suddenly the life you were creating and the future you had imagined with this person is no longer your reality. You can’t imagine losing this man forever, and right now, one question is at the forefront of your mind: Will he come back?
I know it would be so much easier if we could just look into the future and know what we need to prepare for. If we knew for sure that it was over forever, it might be easier to move on. But how can you tell if there’s still a glimmer of hope for your relationship? How can you tell if he still loves you and will make his way back to you?
I’ve decided to write this article today on what to keep an eye out for if you’re looking for signs that he will come back to you. There are some very obvious signs, but there are also some subtle signs that you may not have thought about yet! If you don’t recognize any of the signs that he wants you back, don’t panic. As an added bonus, I’m going to finish this article with a section on how to make him want you back!
What are the main reasons that men come back?
I was speaking with a coachee the other day about her situation. She was with her ex for three years and they broke up because they both knew that he needed to figure some things out on his own before they could have a solid relationship that would withstand the test of time. She was telling me that it would be so much easier if she could just anticipate the outcome. If she knew that he wasn’t going to come back for good, though it would be a hard pill to swallow, she’d eventually be able to get on with her life and move forward. She feels like she’s in limbo, hoping for something but not sure if he’s showing her signs that he’s on his way back to her.
As I told her when she asked, “If it IS going to happen, when will he come back?” a man comes back when he feels very specific things. More often than not and if he really does love you, the shock of losing you is enough to wake him and make him come back. Unfortunately, this sometimes takes longer than we would like, but the outcome is the same.
So what are the main reasons that would lead him to come back to you after a breakup?
The main reason is obviously that he genuinely misses you. Sure, maybe being single again was fun for a while but going out with the guys and partying, having no-one waiting for him at home, and maybe having nothing but one night stands can start to feel pretty empty. It’s not uncommon for this type of lifestyle to actually make a person realize that they had a much more fulfilling life when they had a serious partner. Or perhaps he loves it, but still misses having you in his life. Either way, if you’re still on his mind, chances are that he’ll come back around.
That said, another thing to keep an eye out for is an ex that only wants sex. Sometimes a guy will miss being intimate with you but not being in a relationship with you, so he’ll try to form some kind of friends with benefits relationship with you…
Another reason for an ex coming back is that he’s actually changed and has learned from his mistakes. He’s changed what needed to be changed and is ready to be by your side. Similarly, he might be feeling nostalgic and can’t help but miss the warm memories you shared while you were still together.
I would like you to be on the lookout for negative reasons for a man coming back as well. I know that you’re hoping and you can’t stop thinking, “When will he come back already?” but don’t accept something that will bring you pain in the future.
Sometimes guys come back just because of their pride. They don’t want to see you with someone else or happy without them, but if the actual love is not there, this isn’t going to bring you a satisfying relationship. Now that doesn’t mean that the pride or the jealousy can’t serve as a wake up call for him. Maybe the feeling was enough to make him realize that he truly does love you and that he truly does want to build a future with you. I just want you to make sure that his intentions are good and that he isn’t just coming back so that you don’t date someone else.
Another reason why men come back is that they don’t want to start from scratch. Getting to know someone new and starting a new relationship all over again is a lot of time and energy, and sometimes a person just doesn’t want to start all over again – especially if you had something good.
Will he come back: 10 positive signs that he will!
Now that you know some of the reasons why men come back after breakups, let’s take a look at the clear signs that he wants you back! The more of these you recognize, the better the odds are. I’m going to list them out, but these signs are in no particular order!
1. He wants to spend time with you.
When a guy wants you back, he knows that he’s going to have to spend time with you if he wants to get the chance to talk to you about getting back together. He probably knows that he’s can’t just pop up out of nowhere and ask for you back. Or maybe he’s shy but really does just want to ask for you back… Either way, he’s going to have to get close to you in order to open up that conversation, and the more time he gets to spend with you, the better.
2. Your gut tells you that he’ll come back.
Intuition is a powerful thing, and if your gut tells you that he’s not over you, chances are he isn’t. You know him pretty well by now and you’re able to pick up on little indicators that this relationship might not be finished. Perhaps your intuition has been telling you that he wants you back and you’re reading this article to be sure!
3. He finds excuses to talk to you or to see you.
If he’s coming up with excuses to see you that could be considered “slightly pointless,” chances are that he’s looking for any reason to see you. For example, he wants to give you your white t-shirt back that you left at his place last month. Could you live without that t-shirt? Yes. Is it really important that he gives it back to you? No. Is it easier for him to say that he has a reason to talk to you than to just say, “I miss you and I want to see you”? Yep!
4. He drunk dials you.
As they say, “in vino veritas!” This is Latin for, “In wine, truth,” which means that a person speaks the truth when alcohol is in their system. So, if you’re the first person your ex calls after a few drinks, it’s safe to say that you’re definitely on his mind! Now hopefully the conversation is positive and he’s not calling you because he’s angry… Also, does he contact you while he’s sober? If so, is the conversation negative or positive? Pay attention to how often he reaches out and how the conversations go.
5. He talks to your friends and family.
Usually, unless a person is close with their ex’s friends and/or family, there isn’t much reason to go out of their way to keep in touch with them after a break up (notably if this person is really trying to move on.) Now if this person doesn’t want to close the door to being on positive terms or rekindling a relationship with an ex, they will make an effort to remain on good terms with said ex’s friends and family as well. It’s up to you to gauge how eager your ex is to talk to your loved ones. If your ex is asking them about you, (the more often the better), you can be sure that you’re on his mind. If he’s asking them personal questions about your dating life, it is likely that he’s trying to gauge what his odds are of getting you back.
6. Your breakup was a hasty decision.
If you two suddenly broke up because a fight escalated a bit too much, he might be back soon. Sometimes tempers burn too hot and people do things without thinking. So if you’re wondering, “Will he be back after this fight that went too far,” just know that if you two can sit down and have a calm conversation and work on communication so that you do not experience blow up fights like this in the future, you’ll most likely be able to quickly restore your relationship.
7. He often reaches out to you.
Even though you might be thinking, “He dumped me will he come back,” if he’s always reaching out to you and making sure you’re never out of contact, don’t be surprised if he decides to open up the “let’s give this another go” conversation. Similarly, if he reaches out to you to ask your opinion on things, it means that he still values your opinion and still turns to you. He wouldn’t do that with just anybody…
8. He’s active on your social media profiles.
Following in line with #7, if your ex often comments on or likes your posts on social media, it means that he’s paying attention and interested in your life. If you aren’t talking right now, keep in mind that sometimes people use these types of actions to warm up to actual contact (especially if he isn’t someone who’s typically very active on social media!)
9. He brings up the past.
If your ex is nostalgically talking to you about how your relationship was when things were good, it means that he’s missing it. Otherwise, he wouldn’t bring it up and it would be too painful.
10. He’s affectionate with you.
If your ex is still affectionate with you when you’re together, he might not be over you. If it seems to be more and more each time you see him, it could mean that he wants you back again and misses being close.
If he loves you he will come back, but here’s how to speed things up!
As this article comes to a close, I wanted to give you the key for making a guy want you back. It’s simple, and also a little scary, but it’s the absolute best way to make sure that you’re on the right path towards happiness.
Let go and focus on yourself right now.
I know, I know, it’s the last thing you want to do and you’re scared that he will move on and forget about you, but believe me. Letting go is the only way that you’re ensuring that you’re becoming the best version of yourself, and that is exactly how you can attract him back into your life. When a man sees that you do not need him and that you’re getting on fine without him, becoming more confident in yourself and in your personal life, if he truly loves you, something will click.
Sometimes a guy just isn’t ready for the real deal when it comes to love. If you wait around for him, you’re going to block yourself from doing things that enrich your life. The more amazing your life becomes, the more other people will want to be a part of it. What’s more, and this is one of the most important elements of getting an ex back, he will come back the moment he genuinely fears losing you for good.
The best way to make him feel that way is to work on your self confidence (hit the gym, make some headway at work and with your passion projects, update your wardrobe or look if you want to, meet new people and spend time having fun with your friends). Make your life into what you’ve always wanted it to be. Go on a trip, go back to school, start a new job, do whatever you feel will make your life become deeply satisfying. This is the key to making him WANT to be the man at your side!
Being depressed, needy and clingy is not going to attract him back. Think about it this way: Would you rather be with someone that’s in a horrible mood or who is crying all the time, or with someone who literally inspires you and lives an incredibly fulfilling life?
As always, I am here to help you if you need a helping hand. Go ahead and leave your question in the comments section below, or if you’d like one on one coaching all you have to do is click here.
I wish you all the best in life and in love!