Am I losing him: Here’s what to do right NOW!
I know how hard this can be, my friends. Very often I work with people who develop feelings for a person very quickly and they really just want to make the relationship work. This is a perfectly natural thing, but it can leave you feeling vulnerable, thinking “Am I losing him?” The problem here is that when you start to develop serious feelings for someone, you start to feel that there are stakes, and this fear of losing him begins to develop. Then you start acting in a way that can inadvertently push him away. You start texting him, calling him, being needy, and seeking out reassurance.
The fear of losing a man is just a lack of control over your emotions, and I am here to tell you that you can control everything! That is why I am writing this article for you today. I want to give you a couple of tips and tools that will help you get in control of these emotions, feel confident in yourself and in this relationship, and attract his attention like never before!
Why am I so scared of losing him: The truth
When you are scared of losing someone, it’s because you’re feeling out of control and vulnerable. Your feelings for them are growing and as I said, you feel that there are stakes. This means that you feel that there is a bit of a gamble now that you’re letting your guard down. I know that many of you have gotten hurt in the past, so it makes perfect sense that you’d be afraid of being hurt and disappointed again, especially if you really like this guy and things were going great up until now.
When you’re thinking “Why am I scared of losing him,” it’s important to keep in mind that this has everything to do with your sense of self-confidence. The more solid it is, the less you will feel this sense of vulnerability. Even in cases where the man is actually pulling away and it’s not just a fear that is living in your head, focusing on rebuilding your sense of self-confidence is going to be the key to turning this situation around.
So with that in mind, let’s take a look at three solutions I have for you if you’re worried about losing him!
Am I losing him: 3 solutions
You are in control of way more than you might realize and I really want you to understand this point. When you’re scared of losing someone, I know how easy it is to feel like you aren’t in control of anything and it’s all crumbling in your hands. But in reality, there are so many things that you CAN do to get back in control of what you’re feeling, but also to create a positive impact on what this man feels for you.
So, without further ado, let’s dive right in.
The first tip I have for you has to do with new activities. You need to make sure that the life you are living is exciting for you (but also for him). The most important thing here is that you enjoy the life you’re creating for yourself and find it to be fulfilling. This means that I want you to do challenge yourself to do new activities, stick to your passions, and make sure that you have professional goals. The foundation of the advice I am giving you in this article is actually very simple. The goal is to stop focusing all your thoughts on him because then he’ll take notice and change his approach. At the same time, you will be making yourself feel considerably better. I want you to switch your focus so that you’re the center of your attention now. You are the only person that you should love unconditionally, and it’s all about moving away from fear and towards positivity. So, what kind of positive things can you bring into your life that will help you to experience more excitement and feel stronger than before?
My next tip has to do with understanding what makes him happy. This is actually one of my favorite tips for people who ask me, “Am I losing him?” 9 times out of 10, when you’re in this situation, you’ll do things for yourself without realizing it. You worry that he’s pulling away, so you’ll try to give him extra love and attention and then you’ll book a private coaching session with me to figure out what to do. But ladies, instead of doing that, first ask yourself what this man wants in his life.
Most of the time, it isn’t more love and attention that he wants; he wants a challenge. He wants you to be confident. If you understand that he wants to see you as a prize, then you’ll know that you have to show him that your life is wonderful and deeply fulfilling. So even if you were afraid of losing this guy, know that that was the past and from this moment on, you are going to actively start working on making your life into what you’ve always wanted it to be. This is going to transform the way you feel about yourself, it’s going to dissolve the fear of losing him, and on top of that, it’s going to make him find you even more attractive than before.
People are drawn to happy people like moths to a flame, and this man is no exception.
Remember my friends, it’s all about self-confidence. There are many layers to what makes a relationship thrive and this is one of the pillars. If you’re like to know more, I invite you to download my free eBook, in which I go into detail about how to build the relationship of your dreams. I want to provide you with all the tips and tools that I can, but there are far too many to include in just one article 😉 Click the link and find out everything you need to know!
I am losing him: Here’s what to do
In some cases, there is no doubt that a man is pulling away and going cold. If you have come to this article because you know that this man is becoming distant, I have solutions for you. One of the most common tools we use in our coaching sessions is called the push and pull technique and I can tell you right now that it works wonders. It’s not a game and it does not require you to be someone you’re not. It’s also about reinforcing your sense of self-confidence.
At this point, you might be feeling really hurt. Perhaps he isn’t responding to you, perhaps he’s acting like someone different now, and it’s making you feel hurt, confused, and even disrespected. There is a process that you need to understand. When a man meets you, he puts you on a pedestal and he thinks, “Wow she’s too good for me, I want her!” So he’ll go out of his way to woo you but then one day it stops. Why?
It happens because you are no longer a challenge in his eyes, and he has taken you off of that pedestal. So here is where the technique comes into play. When he becomes cold and distant, it’s time to ignore him. No, this isn’t something you have to do forever, but it is important to get back in control of the situation. You will have time to rebuild yourself and take some distance, and this distance is an important element of being The Challenge. It can be confusing at first because this isn’t something that we learned about love. We were always told that the more love and attention we gave, the more love and attention we’d receive. Unfortunately, this isn’t how it works at all and it’s oftentimes one of the things that makes a person wind up wondering, “Am I losing him?”
When a man is cold you need to be distant and ignore him and you need to repeat something in your mind: I will show him that he has lost the best woman in the world.
I know it can feel weird to say that to yourself, but the more you do it, the more natural it will feel. By doing so, you will rebuild your charisma and your confidence, and then when he comes to talk to you (and he will), he’ll pick up on it. He’ll notice that you’re at ease and confident, and it will spark something in his mind that will begin to see you as the exciting challenge again. Men know when they’ve been taken off the pedestal, believe me. I’ve been a love and relationship coach since 2007 and have coached over 30,000 people, so I can tell you what works, what doesn’t, and what patterns I have seen repeated in both men and women. And this is one of them. A man will begin to fight for you when he realizes that he’s off the pedestal!
So ignoring someone is really important. It doesn’t mean that you’ll never reach out to him again or never see him again. Right now, we just need to make sure that we fix the dynamic between you. We need to make sure that he will be involved in this relationship. There is nothing worse than a one-sided relationship. When you’re in the attraction process (and throughout the entire relationship) he has to show up. It just simply won’t work if you’re the one doing all the work.
Ladies, if you’re reading this article because you’ve been wondering, “Am I losing him because he’s become so distant,” now is the time to pull away. Switch your focus to yourself and then you can easily change the dynamic between you. He needs to see you as his prize, but you also need to see yourself as the prize. You deserve the best!
You can re-attract this man!
I work with people every single day who are in this situation. It’s very common, and it’s very frustrating for you, I know. No one wants to feel vulnerable, no one wants to feel like they’re the one that is more invested in a relationship than their partner.
But you CAN get in control of this. Don’t let negative emotions paralyze you and make you feel powerless. I encourage you to get out there and get active because the more you sweat, the more you can release tension in your mind and in your body. You’ll also be releasing chemicals like endorphins and dopamine which will help you to feel better. They will also give you a boost of energy that will help you accomplish more during your days, and remember, self-confidence comes from a sense of accomplishment. On top of that, it will help you to sleep better at night.
I am a huge advocate for physical exercise when you’re dealing with stress in a relationship. It’s a wonderful thing, you just need to make sure that you’re doing everything you can do make your life feel happier and more fulfilling. Pair that with some distance, and you will recalibrate this relationship with this man. I am always here to help, so please don’t hesitate to leave any questions you may haven the comments section below, or reach out to me for a one on one coaching session by clicking here. By asking you targeted questions, I can create a custom action plan for you that will transform your love life.
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love,
Your #1 French relationship coach,