Signs she likes you: How to know for sure!
So it would appear that a special someone has caught your eye! Maybe you’ve just met, or you’ve known each other for a long time. She’s got your attention and you’ve realized that you can’t stop thinking about her. Perhaps you’ve even caught yourself daydreaming about what you’d like to say to her, kissing her, holding her… But how do you know if she feel the same way? Are there telltale signs that she likes you?
The good news is that YES, there are indicators and if you know what to look for, you’ll have your answer in no time. I’m going to go over the obvious signs, but I also wanted to take the time to go over some of the more subtle hints that a girl is into you. That way, you’ll know for sure if she’s feeling the same way or not.
If by the end of this article you find yourself thinking, “Oh man… I might like her more than she likes me,” don’t panic. I’m going to dedicate the last section of this article to giving you some pointers on how to seduce a woman that you have feelings for!
Signs she likes you: Why is it hard to tell?
I was chatting with one of my good friend the other day and he was telling me about this girl at his work. (Yes, you’re right, this is what gave me the idea to write this article today!) She started working there a few weeks ago and she has a really outgoing personality. They have great conversations, they make each other laugh, and he really enjoys hanging out with her. She’s beautiful, she’s smart, she’s got everything he’s looking for in a person… Yep, he’s head over heels.
He definitely wants to ask her out and spend time with her outside of the office, but here’s the thing: “Alex, she’s so fun and outgoing… I can’t tell if she actually likes me or if that’s just her personality! She’s super friendly with other people too so I don’t know if this is just wishful thinking on my part. I wish I could just know if she’s into me or not without having to go up to her and be like, ‘Hey! I like you, do you like me!?’ I just wish I had SOME kind of sign she like me.”
He was making me laugh and I said, “But you can figure it out while being discrete about it! You just need to know what to look for!” I had his full attention then.
It’s true – when a person is already really outgoing and personable, it’s hard to gauge whether or not that’s just how they are or if they feel something for you. Another thing that happens quite often is that a girl with an outgoing personality will start to be less outgoing simply because her personality sometimes gives guys the wrong impression and in reality, she isn’t actually interested. If you don’t know what to look for, it’s of course going to be challenging to figure out whether or not she has feelings for you.
Every single person is going to have their own personality, so it’s up to you to pay attention to what this girl is like. By the end of this article, you should have a better idea about whether or not she’s smiling at you because she’s friendly or because she’s open to something romantic, whether she’s just being nice or if she actually feels the same way, and whether or not you’re being friend zoned!
I do want to take a second to go over the perils of the friend zone… I often see guys doing this when they’re into a girl: they’re always there for her, they’re always hanging out, they start to talk about all kinds of things, she starts to divulge things about her life, he thinks he’s on the right track because he’s getting closer to her, and then one day bam… She starts talking about a guy. And he gets that sinking feeling, thinking, “Alright well I guess I can stop looking for signs that she likes me because I’ve just been friend-zoned.”
There is a delicate balance between getting close to someone as a friend and getting close to someone as a potential love interest. The key is whether or not you create sexual tension and are mysterious… Anyway, more on that in a moment.
To get back to my point, it’s hard to know if she likes you or not because everyone has their own way of communicating their feelings and everyone is going to have their own little characteristics that differentiate them from everyone else.
It’s up to you to pick up on her characteristics and analyze what her actions signify based on what you’re going to learn in this article. It will of course be way easier if you already know her, but that doesn’t mean that it’s going to be impossible if you don’t know her very well yet. One way or another you’er going to have to get to know her if you want this to lead anywhere!
A word of caution: I know I just said that you’re going to have to pay attention to these things but you need to be SUBTLE about it. Do not make her think that you’re conducting surveillance on her or anything like that because honestly, she’ll end up running for the hills. Similarly, it’s important to be honest about the situation.
If she’s not into you, you need to be aware of it so that you know how to change the game. You don’t want to be that dude who’s in denial and keeps flirting and flirting and flirting until she’s thinking, “Please. Leave. Me. Alone.”
No, if she’s not into you (yet), you change your approach. Again, more on that later.
If she IS interested, (unless she’s someone who loves to play games…) there will be clear signs that she’ll send you that indicate sexual or romantic interest, but there will also be subconscious ones.
So let’s look at how to know if a girl is interested in you.
How to tell she likes you: Look for these signs
I know that you’re reading this because you want to see concrete signs that she likes you. You want answers and what’s more, you want to make sure that you’re not being lead on or being allowed to think she likes you too because she’s too nice to tell you otherwise. I get it. You want to know where she stands so that you can either make your move with complete confidence, move on, or change your approach to make her fall for you!
The majority of the signs she likes you that I’m about to go over are nonverbal. I think it’s safe to say that if you’re reading this article, the girl you like hasn’t flat out said, “I have feelings for you” or “I want to be with you!”
If you recognize a multiple of the following indicators of interest, chances are that she’s definitely into you!
Here are the most obvious signs that she likes you…
The most obvious sign that a girl is interested is going to be her body language. When she talks to you, if she’s interested, she’s going to look you straight in the eyes, smile, face you, and she probably won’t have her arms crossed. Now if she’s not into you and/or uncomfortable, she’ll avoid eye contact, and her body will feel more closed off (her shoulders won’t be facing you, and her arms will be crossed)…
Speaking of eye contact, I was recently reading about a study conducted that indicated that a person’s pupils will dilate when they speak to someone they’re interested in. This would be something interesting to pay attention to! If you’ve ever noticed anything like this happening go ahead and leave a comment below. I’d be curious to know about your experiences and any suggestions you’d like to share with other readers!
Another obvious sign she’s into you is any reference made to being single. If she’s bringing the fact that she doesn’t have a boyfriend or husband into the conversation (especially when it comes out of left field), she could be dropping hints that she’s available.
When a girl likes you, she’s going to love spending time with you. Do you hang out with her a lot? (Even if it’s just by the coffee machine at work or in between classes). When you’re in a group, do you two tend to hang out together in your own little bubble? If so, chances are that she’s interested.
If she is often the first person to reach out, things are looking good. If she wasn’t interested, she wouldn’t go out of her way to regularly talk to you, especially not to just say hi and see how you’re doing! If you weren’t into someone, you wouldn’t be in touch with them all the time right? This is of course different if you’re good friends, and if this is the case for you, I suggest paying attention to the more subtle signals that she likes you that I’m going to go over in a second.
Have her friends been dropping hints at all? For example, “Oh, have you seen __her name here__ lately?” Or, “Yeah she doesn’t have a boyfriend,” or, “You should totally come tonight, ___the girl you like___ will be there!” If they’re telling you things like, “You two were so cute at that party the other night,” it might be to make you become aware of the fact that she likes you!
Another obvious sign of a person liking someone is them being tactile. When you want to know: how to tell if a girl is interested in you, look at how tactile or reserved she is when you’re talking to each other. If you’re close enough to hug when you see each other, is she enthusiastic about the hug, does she let it linger, or does she give you a quick little pat on the back before promptly pulling away? Does she touch your arm or your knee during conversation? If she’s tactile with you it could mean that she’s into you!
Pay attention to if and how she compliments or teases you. This is pretty much flirtation at its finest, and if she’s being playful with you it could mean that she’s interested. I mean think about it, would you tease and flirt with someone that you aren’t into…? By the way if she teases you, don’t be too sensitive! It’s a way for her to gauge where you stand.
She likes you: Don’t forget the subtle signs
Now we’ve gotten to the good stuff! The stuff that you may not have thought to pay attention to prior to reading this! The signs she likes you that I outlined above are pretty straight forward and you’ve probably already heard about them or have already thought to pay attention to them.
But what about the discrete hints that she likes you? Well, if you want to know how to tell if a woman likes you even if she’s not being obvious about it, you’ve come to the right place!
One the main signs that a woman is interested that often goes unnoticed comes in the form of questions. Think about the conversations you have with her, who’s asking all the questions, you or her? You ask questions because you’re interested in her as a person and you want to know more about who she is, what she likes, and what she enjoys doing. It allows you to get closer to her and it allows you to see what you have in common because you can see this going somewhere. Does she do the same thing for you, or is she always just answering your questions and not going out of her way to find out more about you?
Now, I should mention that this is just a little flaw that many people do have – everyone likes talking about themselves and sometimes they forget to ask the other person about themselves… and this doesn’t necessarily mean that they aren’t interested. Just pay attention to this element in addition to all the other indicators that I’ve been listing.
Another interesting thing to pay attention to when you want to know the answer to “Does she like me” is whether or not you pick up on her mimicking you. We subconsciously mimic the people that we are interested in. Pay attention to whether she touches her hair a few moments after you do, or if she does the same things with her arms that you are while you’re talking. You know the saying: imitation is the most sincere form of flattery!
And speaking of the things that she is doing with her body, pay attention to her lips. Does she often lick/touch/gently bite them? She might be consciously or subconsciously trying to bring your attention to her lips. If you’re not sure whether she’s trying to be seductive or if it’s a nervous tick, just pay attention to whether or not she does it around other people as well.
A woman who is interested in you isn’t going to bring up other guys (unless she’s trying to spark some jealousy in you… but that depends on her personalty). Also, she is going to pay attention to little details. When a woman is interested, she’ll pay close attention and it will be reflected in her actions. She’ll notice that you got a trim, that the waiter forgot the bbq sauce you asked for, or like my girlfriend, she’ll casually stock the fridge with my favorite soda because she noticed that I always order it restaurants!
Not seeing signs that a woman likes you? Here’s what to do…
If you are not seeing clues that a woman likes you, don’t panic! Sometimes it’s just a question of changing your approach. I often see guys coming on too strong and not being subtle in their approach, and this can be a big turn off (as I said above). Other times, I see guys not showing the girls they like any signs of interest, so the girls don’t think to see the guys in “that” way.
It’s a delicate balance of course, but in love, nothing is impossible.
The very first thing to keep in mind when you want to make her fall for you is to show her that you aren’t like all the rest! You don’t want to bombard her with questions about herself that could get annoying after a while. Yes, everyone likes to talk about themselves, but you have to be careful to make sure it doesn’t feel like you’re interrogating her. When you do talk, pay attention to what she says and think about what characteristics, hobbies, and passions you have in common.
Having things in common will make it easier for you two to get closer, and you’ll have an easier time showing her that you’re interested and making her fall for you. This is often when I hear something that surprises me: “But Alex, I get stuck because I don’t know what to say to a woman that I like!”
My response is always the same… “No, gentlemen, you always have something exceptional: Your personality.”
I can guarantee that your personality will allow you to make the woman you like fall for you, but only if you’re able to let it shine through!
Take a moment to ask yourself what you like, and what sets you apart from other guys, and what kind of image of yourself you’d like to give this woman.
I know that you know that every single person is different and that one specific approach might not work on everyone, but don’t worry. It’s actually very easy to figure out the right thing to say to her to get her attention.
There are two books that I often talk about when I’m coaching someone: Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” and “Influence and Manipulation” by Robert Caldini. (Which has a misleading title because it sounds negative, but trust me, you can find all kinds of useful tips for understanding relationships. Keep in mind that both men and women are attracted to exciting challenges…)
Dale Carnegie explains that remaining positive is of upmost importance, but saying something positive has the greatest impact when it doesn’t happen every two minutes.
Think about it – if you compliment someone over and over and over, not only does it start to get awkward and somewhat annoying, your compliments lose their impact.
Look for a “special detail” and give her a nice compliment about it when the time is right, and be careful to not overdo it. To be clear, I’m not saying that you have to play the bad boy or do any “negging”… You have to know when to bring your compliment into the conversation so that it has the biggest impact.
Next up, if you haven’t quite seen as many signs she likes you as you would like, Robert Caldini suggests that the more mysterious, positive, and lively you are, the more interested she will be. Teasing her a bit can give rise to powerful intimacy. To do so, don’t hesitate to come back to funny details or even take the risk and (subtly!) tease her so that you can begin a little game of seduction in the form of power play.
Don’t hesitate to be funny! Everyone loves being around a person that can make them laugh.
If you’d like one on one coaching in making her want you, don’t hesitate to get in touch with me directly for one on one coaching.
Wishing you all the best!
Your coach for knowing the signs she likes you,