Should I tell him how I feel?

by | January 13th 2019 | 16 comments

Ah, the butterflies. You can not stop thinking about this guy, huh? He’s constantly on your mind, and whenever you see him backflips. You’ve probably been daydreaming and imagining your future together. There is so much potential … You feel so excited to talk to him and you can not wait for him.

You have a full blown crush on this guy. You feel like you might already be in love with him already! But does he know? Nope, he sure does not know you yet … So now you’re wondering, “Should I tell him how I feel? And how do I even go about doing that ?! “

It’s true, having feelings for someone can be the most exciting feeling in the world, but it can also make you feel extremely nervous. How do you tell someone you have feelings for them? Is it actually a good idea? What if he does not feel the same way? Do not worry because I was writing this article for you today when it’s time to do something!

Why is it important to ask you: Should I tell him how I feel?

Some people come to me and ask, “Is it bad to tell a guy how do you feel? Should I play hard to get? “

Let’s talk about attraction first!Should I tell him how I feel

I would have to say that yes, a period of keeping up with him. When a man feels like he wants to work towards a goal, things become much more exciting. If you’re wondering how to attract him , I encourage you to read this article right away! Building attraction between you is crucial for making him want to get closer.

Now, it’s good to maintain a bit of intrigue, but when you’re starting to really feel something, I want you to ask yourself this:

Would you regret not saying something more than you would regret saying something?

You can be positive!

There’s a quote from Tony Robbins, I’m sure you’ve heard about.

“Stop worrying about what could go wrong and start getting excited about what could go right!”

He is absolutely right. We have this chance to fixate on the worst possible outcome and our anxiety paralyzes us! We would like to see you and we would like to know that we are going to be skeptical.

Yes, we know you’re lucky that you’re hoping for it, but we do not know that you’re interested just because he did not know he had a chance with you. So what do you do ??

I know that it feels like you want to hide your feelings. After all, it’s the easiest way for us to protect ourselves. Most people have experienced rejection and heartache and do not want to put themselves in another situation in which makes them feel vulnerable. No one wants to be rejected! But when it comes to rejection, even if it happens to someone, is not always final. It’s up to you to decide if you want to keep learning how to get a guy, or if you want to take a question answered and move on!

I’ve always said that honesty is key in healthy relationships, and if you want to be honest with yourself, how would you honestly feel?

I want you to know that no matter what, the outcome will be rewarding. Even if it’s not quite what you’re hoping to hear, it’s going to be in your right direction towards the right relationship for you.

So, let’s take a look at some signs that it’s time to tell him how you feel.

6 signs it’s NOT the time to tell him how you feel!

Pay close attention to these six signs. How to tell him how I feel

He does not make you feel comfortable enough to reveal your feelings…

This is huge. You might feel that the feeling is mutual but then again you might not. He might be hot and cold and really not courting you and showing up as much as you. He also may have said things that drew a red flag and you are not sure how he feels about you. If this is the case then its time to just naturally let things progress and see his true colors shine.   

He is rushing into the relationship too fast…

This might scare you because you are wondering why he is trying to rush into something with you. You might be hesitant because you know your special but it just does not feel normal to rush into things too fast when you barely know him. The chemistry might be amazing but it’s just been a couple weeks and your gut is telling you to take your time.

Your friends are not too fond of him… 

They know you better than anyone and they want the best for you. If they recognize real potential and think it’s a good idea, they’ll tell you that you should do it. If they thought it was a bad idea, they’d tell you. Which incidentally, if they are telling you to pump your brakes, it would be a good idea to listen and take things slowly.

You don’t know him really well…

If this is someone you are already close to and you have developed feelings, I understand how you could be even more nervous! But you want to make sure your values and goals in life are aligned instead of just a feeling of what this person gives you. You want to make sure your foundation is strong before jumping into a relationship. 

He always gives excuses, forgets, or cancels…

A man that is ready to commit is going to make sure that he does not lose you. He will continue to try and have fun with you, get to know you and also respect your time. If this happens I challenge you to tell a guy and if he is not willing to change his behaviors then really take a moment to reflect why you have feelings for a man that does not give you the time you deserve. i

He tells you openly he isn’t ready to commit or is giving you mixed signals…

He might be trying to always go to the hottest parties since may be important to him right now. He has probably also told you that he isn’t ready “yet” just so you stick around for the comfort or anything else you may give him. The challenge here is to understand why you like a man that is not available for you. Pushing away and really focusing on you is going to be the goal here to get him to see you in a different light.

5 Signs You Should Tell Him How You Feel!

He always texts you…

Even though I think you should initiate a text with a guy every once in a while so he knows that things are being reciprocated I also know that a man will continue to try and court you so he can show you how he feels. He shows his commitment to you, plans things ahead that the both of you may enjoy and checks in on you from time to time to see how your day is going.

He asks you to go out with him…

So this man asks you to go out with him as much as possible. To important events, meeting close friends, or possibly even family. A man that is open and not trying to hide things to see if the both of you would be a great blend to share life with is showing how he wants to make the next move with you.

He asks specific questions about the future…

He might plan trips and dates with you in advance. He starting to talk about the future and how great it will be, how excited he is, and how he enjoys your company and his mindset has changed to him incorporating you in his life and I hope the same happens with you vice versa. The reciprocation is even between the both of you.

You know his best friends and family…

Typically men only talk about you to their family or best friends when they know that this relationship is something special. Pay attention to the people he introduces you to and how he does it. He might plan a special dinner for you to meet everyone and possibly already told his parents about you!

His words are aligned with his actions…

The things he does and says brings no question as the things he says is proven through his actions. You can really tell a mans intent with you when you focus more on his actions instead of his words only. When you see a man show up he is more then likely to do it with his actions to show you he cares.

How to tell a guy how you feel about him

So, if you’ve decided that it’s finally going to be so lucky that you feel something for him, let’s take a look at exactly how you should do it.

I’ll tell you right here you’re going to be crazy, you’re going to have a lot of fun. “I have feelings for you !! !! “

Do you know what you want to know about CRUSH that you like him?Is it time to tell him what you feel

You do not need to send a message to a colleague or a colleague.

You do not need to think about how to say it for hours and hours, even though I know it’s scary! Let me just say that men appreciate simplicity.

So how to tell him how do you feel ?

Listen, all you have to do is tell him.

Plain and simple. Just tell him! Tell him that you ‘ve grown up feeling well, you’ re spending time together, and you ‘d like it. No need for some huge statement of love. You want to keep things feeling honest and yet lighthearted. If you guys are already friends, you can add that he’s one of your friends and your friends will not change if he does not feel the same way – you just wanted to share what’s on your mind. Like I said above, if you feel that you would not say anything, just say what you need to say.above, if you feel that you would regret not having said anything more than saying anything, just say what you need to say.

And here, I have that John Mayer song stuck in my head.

But he’s on something! How did those lyrics go?

“Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You’d better Know That in the end Then never say what you need to say again
Its better to say too much

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say! “

You can do this in person, but you can also do it in a text message. It does not need to go on for pages and pages. Men are not fans of drama, so keeping things simple is key. Similarly, keep things clear. You do not want to send an ambiguous text like, “I always enjoy seeing you around!” text message. It doesn’t need to go on for pages and pages. Men aren’t fans of drama, so keeping things simple is key. Similarly, keep things clear. You don’t want to send an ambiguous text like, “I always enjoy seeing you around!”

Sure, he could pick up on the fact that you enjoy his presence but he could not be able to decode the “I love being around you because I have feelings for you” element. When you’re going to tell him , do exactly that! Tell him you LIKE him!

“Hey I just wanted to tell you something that I think I’d regret not saying. I’ve come To Realize That I feel something for you and I really enjoy spending time together. I’d love to do more of that 🙂 “Hey I just wanted to tell you something that I think I’d regret not saying. I’ve come to realize that

Plain and simple.

I’m going to end this article with a little story about who I’m going to be. She told me that she was her best friend, and she was so scared of ruining their friendship. She had been feeling something for him for years but never had guts to tell him!

The day he started dating another girl like a knife straight to the heart. That was the time that she needed to muster up her courage to tell him. My girlfriend, Andrea, did not really know the girlfriend and she did not really enjoy talking about the relationship with her friend …

Then they are walking through a park on their way to some friends, she found the courage to do it. “Rob,” she said, “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

He suddenly looked nervous. Andrea wanted to chicken out. I’m just gonna put it out there because I do not know how else to say it. I like you. I always have. I know you’re with someone so I’m not asking you anything, I just wanted you to know. “Instead she continued to say, “I’m just gonna put it out there because I don’t know how else to say it. I like you. I always have. I know you’re with someone so I’m not asking anything of you, I just wanted you to know.”

She was waiting for him to say, “Oh wow, OK, thanks? But no thanks … “What he said instead completely caught her off guard. He was suddenly no longer nervous at all. In fact, he was beaming.

Andrea, I’ve ended things with her. And you want to know why? Because I have not been able to stop thinking about you and I never dared tell you. I thought you would never see me again. “

So these two had spent so much on everything but never daring to say anything about it !!

Moral of the story is this: if you feel something strong for someone, and you want to know how to tell a guy how to feel about him , all you have to do to you. It does not matter anything crazy. Whatever the outcome will be, it will be positive.

I sincerely wish you the best,

Your coach when you want to know how to tell a guy how you feel

Alex Cormont

16 Comments

  1. folorentorium

    whoah this blog is excellent i like studying your posts. Keep up the great work! You already know, lots of people are searching round for this information, you could aid them greatly.

    Reply
    • F

      Hi Alex,

      Great article!

      I’ve never sent a question on a blog, but here’s hoping you can give me some feedback about my relationship.

      I am seeing a man, part-time father of two kids, and we agreed to take things slow. We’ve been seeing each other for four months now, and I feel a strong physical and emotional connexion. I haven’t seen his kids, we talked about it, but there was no urge to move to this big step yet.

      The thing is that I had to have a medical intervention last week, and I needed him to be present for me.

      He asked me if he could help in any way, and I felt vulnerable and scared, and I pretended I didn’t need him. I know he has a lot on his mind lately, and I wanted us to be light and fun, and being sick was too vulnerable to share.

      After the intervention, I felt so alone, and , I guess with stress and everything, I decided to break up with him. I felt too fragile to develop feelings in a casual relationship with someone who wants to move slow. The pace suddenly felt like an issue to my happiness, and the reason why I wasn’t feeling comfortable sharing my vulnerability.

      I told him I wanted more partnership and support, he told me he needed to respect his rythm and not rush into a new relationship.

      I understand his need, I feel like it’s the right thing to do, but I also wished I was in a relationship where I could share my weeknesses without feeling guilty for the additional « trouble ».

      I know that I need to communicate my needs more, and I think he would have come hold my hand if I asked him.

      He’s now gone on a trip with his kids with no reception so communication is hard. I haven’t seen him since the operation (Wednesday).

      I am wandering if we should try to work things out and get to a point where we both feel comfortable, or if I should move on and protect myself from being hurt and disappointed.

      The thing is that, until that operation and the aftermaths, seeing him was putting a smile on my face. He’s kind, charming, and he feels like home. But I’m afraid my feelings for him are not shared to the same level, and it’s something hard to figure out.

      What is your take on the situation?

      Thank you for your answer,

      F.

  2. Rahat

    Hi Alex!

    I’m glad to see your intentions to solve the problems of girls and giving them new life. I really appreciate you.

    I need your help badly.

    One of my best friend with whom I have shared my problems. Time by time we have involved in physical relation as well.

    He used to take care of me but sometimes he ignore me as well because I used to get mad at me just get his all attention on me.

    Once I have moved to other country for my job purpose we met last time in a upset mood.

    But after sometime he started to ignore me and I got aggressive and mad at him again.

    We have skipped the conversation for a long time weeks. Then I saw his pics on Facebook with my other female colleagues so i couldn’t control my anger.

    Because he was giving time to others instead of me. I left some kind of comments on Facebook which might get him angry. But he was on mistake.

    After a month we talked but at that time he decided to leave me. But still I tried to convince him just to be with him. He started to response me but hardly he replies.

    He always come online but not given priority to my text. I get more hurt start crying get emotional i send him message you take me for granted can’t beg you and blah blah! In return he texted me “same to you and keep focused! One day you will be a successful women in future for sure”

    I got crazy for a moment I sent him so many audio messages and made calls but he didn’t response.

    After a long weeks he texted me on occasion day to wish me.

    Without thinking! I replied his text in a respective way. But later on I realized I shouldn’t response him back as he ignored my last messages. As well as behaved like a stranger.

    I delete my message from WhatsApp but it was too late to delete because he has already seen.

    But still I have deleted my message and it has shown his side too that the sender as deleted the message.

    Now I don’t know what he will be thinking of it.

    I’m very upset and hurt.😔

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Rahat,
      #1 rule is not to bring relationship issues to social media. 🙂 I would suggest this first. I think if he is not giving you the attention you deserve then moving on and not paying attention to him is what needs to happen. You deserve someone who will value you, just because he does not give you the attention you want does not mean someone else will not. Thanks for reading my blog about “should I tell him how I feel”
      Best,
      Alex

  3. Leonie

    Hey Alex.

    Just a quick question. I really like this guy and we text all the time and when we can we spend time with each other. But noting is official yet and I want more. How do I tell him this? This will be a huge turning point but I can not waste time on something I know might not go anywhere.

    Thanks

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Leonie,
      Thank you for reading my blog, Should I tell him how I feel. My first question is, what types of messages are you receiving from him? Try to figure this out and then see if you are ready to move forward with what you want from him. I hope this helps.
      Best,
      Alex

  4. Hannah Takyi Agyeiwaa

    Hi Alex

    I have this male colleague of mine at work, i dont know if he has fallen in love with me because of his actions towards me, at first he started by asking if i have boyfriend, then he again went on by tapping my back when ever i bypass him, oneday i was passing through his office to the washroom when i passby him, he grab my hand but i culdnt turn my face to face him and he too didnt say anything to me then after some minutes he let go of my hand but deep inside me i didnt like him leaving my hand because i have also developed feelings for him through his actions towards me, i have been waiting silently and hoping that one day he will profess his love for me but to no avail, please does he love me or have feeling for me and should i tell him how i have feelings for him.

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Hannah,
      Thank you for reading my blog, Should I tell hime How I feel. It appears that you have not gone out on a date yet! This might be the first step and then see how he response to you away from the office. I cannot answer you questions because I do not know enough about you and this colleague. See if you can have some communication outside the work environment. Please, also review your employee handbook so you can understand their policy regarding these type of situations in the work place.
      Best,
      Alex

  5. Miss Moses

    Hi Alex your article is good, my best friend and i have been seeing each other for 3 years now, it all just happened boom, i loved him before we started seeing each other and he feels the same way about our friendship, now that we are seeing each other it added feelings, i’m afraid if we have to get serious this will ruin our friendship which i know will be the case, when ever we see each other its like we have to be just friends in front of our friends cause we have the same friends like i said he’s my best friend. I really have strong feelings for him but due to being best friends and still young i’m keeping them feelings for myself which is very hard being around him everyday(knowing that i should stay in my lane) i don’t know if i should let him know cause we had this convo in our early seeing, i get butterflies when ever i see him should i just stay without telling him knowing that men do not get attached easily like us women to protect myself, i’m a very strong person and can take what ever comes my way but when it comes to him i cant resist the feeling, the sex is 100% and some reason for the 100% is we love each other before we started seeing each other. I want to know what to do to get him on my level?

    Reply
  6. Rose

    I need help. I just ended a 4 year marriage and have 3 small children. I left my husband and have been slightly homeless with my kids. I’ve had this person in my life for 6 years..we’ve always talked about everything. He’s always been there for me and he’s been the only man in my life that’s ever treated me right.. I’ve loved him sence Ive met him.. most of our encounters have been for a night or so… And we sit and talk to each other… He’s been so helpful lately the last few days he’s given me and my kids a place to stay.. I love him so much, but we’re we have been friends for so long, if I tell him how I feel and he doesn’t feel the same I don’t want to make things awakward… Also the rejection will break me.. the man I just left always told me no one will ever love me or my kids and I kind of feel like that is partly true… I don’t know what to do.. he makes me so happy when I’ve been so miserable.. I don’t know what to say or where to start.. but I know I don’t want to be without him..

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Rose,
      Thank you for reading my blog, “should I tell him how I feel”. If you can you should seek help from your family. It’s not only a decision that will effect you, but you also have the children to consider. The best decision you need to make now is for your children. Children need stability, rules and responsibilities. If you can get some outside assistances, especially financial and look into resources that can help the family with some counseling or even a coaching sessions. Stay strong and focused, You can do this.
      Best,
      Alex

  7. Elle M.

    Hi Alex, this is a really great article! I have known this guy for several years, but we were not really close. We recently started spending lots of time together and I really, really like him. He is moving across the country today, do I tell him how I feel?
    Thank you!

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Elle,
      Thank you for reading this blog. I am glad you found it helpful. It sounds like you are very comfortable with him since you have known him for several years. If you feel strongly that he needs to know how you feel for him, than take that chance. Long distance relationships can be a challenge and he might not be ready now that he is moving. If you are meant to be, than you will find your way back to each other.
      Best,
      Alex

    • Olee

      Hi Alex,

      Thanks for the post. For the past few days I’ve been wondering if I should tell this one guy how I feel about him. It’s complicated as once we were kind of flirting and it seemed like we’d end up together, but after one situation at the party I cut off the contact because I saw him with another girl. Later when he remembered it he told me he wanted to keep in touch but as friends. Back then I didn’t tell him how I feel as I thought he didn’t deserve it. Now we’ve spent over a week working together and there were some sentimental vibes and it felt like there were some things we didn’t say to each other. It felt a bit like we were threading on thin ice with some stuff. So, the thing is that he makes an effort to stay a friend (even though he did send an odd Valentine, spent a lot of time with me), but it feels like there’s just something still. And I’ve been wondering if I should tell him how I feel because it doesn’t go away even though we don’t see that much of each other. Perhaps telling him would be the biggest mistake of my life? Maybe I could finally move on? I guess I’m scared of how he might react. I’d hate to lose him as a friend. I find it very hard to express my feelings and he knows it…so it would be such an atomic bomb.

  8. Grace

    Hi Alex,

    It all started when I was back in another country where we both met when we’re studying abroad. We’ve been friend for over a year that time and someday I asked him over to my place to have dinner and somehow that became like a everyday thing(not everyday but 5/7 days). We’ve been going out to have dinner every weekend and during weekday I’ll cook or he’ll be cooking. Mostly he’ll be coming over to my place. That happened for almost two years. During that time we started going out alone too. We’ll be travelling every so often. We even took a trip to a city for three days. Booked a flight and we stayed in a Airbnb together. For the record. We never once to be in a physical relationship. He wouldn’t make a move. I’ve been developing feelings for him since the year we started hang out. I never made a move either. He’s never been in a relationship so I was wondering if it’s because he was afraid that to make a move too.

    Reply
  9. Amina

    Hi Alex,
    I just told my best friend that I had a crush on him. But his answer was vague. I don’t really know what he wanted. I felt his answers were positive but still not clear. He asked me again to assure, if this was true or not. I told him will this make any difference? He said “not on our friendship” but I changed the topic saying exams are coming, and he agreed to it. He remained very polite and did not react. In fact he told me I should not be worried as he never got furious with me.

    Reply

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About Alex


"What if the true definition of love was not what you thought it was?" It’s time to make your own.

Alex Cormont

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