I Love Too Much and It Hurts, What Do I Do?

by | December 3rd 2019 | 24 comments

It goes without saying that love is a powerful emotion that gives you wings and makes you feel like you could move mountains for the one you love. There are so many positive things to say about love and about the feelings you have for your significant other. However, this love or passion can actually hurt you and be the cause of various tensions in the relationship.

When? This happens when you’re realizing, “I love too much and I think I’m emotionally dependent on my partner…” This is never a good sign because you’re suffering and the relationship becomes unbalanced.

How can you explain loving too much? Why is excessive love dangerous? Do you have to avoid love in order to be truly happy? It’s true that we ask ourselves all kinds of questions in this situation and we don’t quite know what to do. Finding a balance between love and reason isn’t always easy, especially when your emotions get mixed up and you have trouble controlling them.

In order to stop loving too much and suffering because of it, you’ll have to do a little bit of work on yourself so that you can learn to remain in control of your emotions and avoid any needy behavior. Knowing how to control your emotions and not let love overpower you will help you to establish a more balanced relationship. The goal is not to love your partner less. It’s to no longer lose yourself in the relationship and suffer as a result. From now on, your emotional fulfillment will be the priority and I will give you three keys in this article that will help with exactly that. To take it a step further, I invite you to read this article on combatting emotional dependency.

How does loving someone too much happen?

Before we begin, I’d like to bring your attention to something, especially if you’re thinking, “I love too much and I don’t know what to do.” I don’t want you to misinterpret what I’m trying to express through this article because the goal is to make you feel better if you’re having trouble controlling your reactions. I do not ever want you to feel afraid of loving and being in a relationship. This text is not written with the goal of keeping you from having a passionate and satisfying relationship with the person you love! The goal here is to make you as happy as possible in this relationship.

And I’m not going to stop there… In addition to being happy, I want you to feel good about yourself and satisfied in your personal life. Self-fulfillment is key!

Thinking, “I’m too in love means that something is off in the relationship, but it also means that your emotions are keeping you from taking action. Let’s take an example that I often see in my coaching sessions. I often work with men and women that are with someone that makes no effort…

They are the first ones to tell me, “I shouldn’t accept it, I should put some distance between us, they don’t deserve me, but I just can’t do it.” Perhaps you are thinking the same exact thing. So why is it so hard to react? It’s simply because love is too strong and you’re afraid that your significant other loves you less. Perhaps you are afraid that your relationship is going to experience a crisis because you’re complaining and you want things to change. Loving too much can make a person blind or unresponsive, and these things can lead to disappointment in love.

In these situations, it’s always tough to talk about love. More often than not, it is none other than emotional dependency at play. Even if this term might scare you, you have to use it when necessary. Basing your happiness on another person, making compromises that don’t feel balanced to you, allowing your partner to always have their way and feeling unhappy are al signs of emotional dependency. You have to fight against this phenomenon because this is when the relationship begins to make you suffer.

Understanding that loving someone too much can be dangerous!

When you are in love, you show that you care for your partner, you foster complicity between you, and you protect your partner. On the other hand, when you’re too in love and you begin to ask yourself whether you are emotionally independent or not, something is off. Some people might even feel like they’re suffering in their relationship when they have everything they need to be happy.

If you’re thinking that you love someone too much, there is probably an unbalance and your relationship becomes endangered. Here are the four most common reasons:

1. Either you ask too much of your partner or
2. You exhibit needy behavior
3. You suffer so you are not feeling fulfilled, and fulfillment is one of the foundations of relationships
4. You don’t feel like you’re good enough and you put your partner on a pedestal

By having negative thoughts or having this type of behavior, your dream relationship runs the risk of turning into toxic love (If this isn’t already the case). By acting like this, you risk making the person you love to push you away. Loving too much can make him or her put space between you and they won’t make the efforts required to improve your relationship. This is why the relationship feels one-sided to you.

You must also keep in mind that fighting against this phenomenon can help you to feel much better in your personal life as well as in your relationship. So stop saying, “I love him/her and I’m scared!” By finding balance in your own life and feeling emotionally independent you will breathe new life into your relationship. All of this is perfectly possible as long as you’re ready and willing to make some real changes and fully invest in doing so.

I love too much: How to adjust your emotions

The goal is not to stop loving or to love this person less. I often see people that feel that they love too much want to stop loving entirely. You shouldn’t have to get rid of your relationship and be single. The objective is to stop suffering because of love and share incredible moments filled with joy with your significant other.

This is why it’s so important to focus on the root of the issue at hand and how to overcome emotional dependency or disproportionate jealousy. Make sure you’ve got the right goal – the problem is not the relationship or your partner. The real problem is the reason behind why you’re saying “I am too in love and I am suffering because of it.” It is emotional dependency.

In order to fight this feeling and the sensation of being too in love with someone, you have to understand the importance of maintaining your independence in a relationship. It is also crucial that you find happiness without having to have your partner by your side. I’m not talking about breaking up. I mean that you have to focus on making your personal life fulfilling.

To do so, find new activities that you like, expand your social circle, and give more time and energy to your work and any projects you feel passionate about. All of this will help you to conquer any issues related to issues with emotional dependency. Anything that will help you to do this needs to be set in motion right away. Working on these three aspects will help you to have more confidence in love.

In love, sometimes you have the tendency to forget all everything you were doing before you met the person you got in a relationship with. The result is that you feel like you’re suffering because you depend on you partner to be happy.

You should always hold on to your secret garden, don’t let your partner take you for granted, and be independent. This is crucial if you want to move forward and give your partner a new image of yourself. Don’t be afraid of putting some distance between you because this will help you reach your goal. It goes without saying that you should communicate with your partner about what you’re doing right now so that he or she isn’t completely taken off guard.

Depending on your partner like this creates an unbalance and I would like you to become aware of the changes that need to take place starting today. The first thing to do is to define a plan of action. Take a pen and a piece of paper and write down all the things that you can do to improve your relationship over the course of the next few weeks. The part following the analysis period is even more important because you’re going to have to take action!

Here are a few examples of things to fill voids that you might be feeling:

– Go hiking alone or with friends
– Invite your closest friends to dinner
– Go shopping
– Take up a new physical activity
– Go have fun with your kids at the park
– Grab a drink with some colleagues after work
– Try a new sport
– Cook something you’ve never tried before

All of these exercises will help you to feel better and experience the joy that isn’t directly related to your relationship. The goal isn’t to no longer share any experiences with your partner – but you have to think about improving your own personal life because this will make you feel better and it will also improve the quality of your relationship! So think, fewer messages and less attention… You are your priority now!

Best wishes,

Your coach when you love so much it hurts

Alexandre Cormont


  1. faith

    Right advice at the right time. Thank you

  2. Agnes Iivula

    Thank you so much. Have been reading your books and watching your U tube videos they really helped me I see changes in my self. also my partner told me that I have changed, and he is loving the new me .

  3. Priscilla kihara

    Merci monsieur Fairmont you are a couch on time have tried some of the tips you have given above today cooked something that I have never cooked before and also took a walk on I purpose to find my self again am going to be selfish best regards.

  4. Pooja Majumdar

    The time when I really needed it the most.You are a saviour,Mr Alex.Thank you so much.Regards.

  5. Megha

    Thnx Alex.

    I’m suffering in this problem. I have this ‘too much love’ type issue.
    I will try to change myself according to your advice.
    Thnx again. 🙂

  6. Nafisa

    Thank you so much Alex.every day I always watch your videos and gaining confidence.because nowadays I’m so heartbroken and needy person .im so stressed and don’t know what to do. I love your videos

  7. suhasini

    thanks for this.

  8. Sharmistha

    When i was reading the article just feeling that every word of this article is a universal truth which are come from personal and professional experience.. This only single article can show a real path of love life with solution.i am already benefited to get pure knowledge from the article.thanks Alex..

  9. Vickie Stigleman

    Thank you so much for this article! I needed this so badly! I’m making myself a priority!

  10. Merija

    Thankyou Alex i do love too much and it really does hurt. I will try to start loving myself more and try not to make it look like I’m needy. Thanks for thinking of me.

  11. Ilse

    Hi Alexandre
    You described me to a “T

  12. SosoSun

    Thank you deeply for this advice. It just came on time!
    Fewer messages and less attention… I am my priority now!

  13. Owusu Anna

    Thanks Alex for this vital message. I know that you are always the best in coaching when it comes to relationship issues. God bless you

  14. Lori

    I’m totally in love with this French man. He’s my everything. Their distance but I just done understand him sometimes. I need help. I love him so

  15. Agbor Juliet

    After reading this article I felt alot more better and knew how to go about this issue

  16. Bunty

    As always Alex,
    Very grounding tips and advice for those of us who find ourselves on the road of unbalance.

    Keep up the good work & thankyou for getting it out there 😊

  17. Pearly Durango

    Very helpful advice thank you so much. Everything you said there is applicable to myself and my relationship.

  18. Angel

    I was thinking about this a few days ago. I want be more independent and enjoy my life more. Thank you Alex. I really learn a lot from you on YouTube. The tips you give here I am going to try them.

  19. Vera

    I’m having a great time in my relationship with this wonderful guy I met two y.ears ago.

  20. Alexandra

    Hi Alex!i am Alexandra from Greece. i have discovered you a few weeks ago and you have already helped me a lot.. I truly appreciate you… i’m a single mother with 2 kids, post patience of cancer (thanks God I am ok now..) young , good looking ,I have hobbies and positive thinking towards life.. but, being without a relationship for so long , have made me really needy .. every time a guy approaches me due to my appearance, he pulls away because of the kids.. I am constantly rejected for having children . it is like I am carrying a social stigma and nobody cares about who you are or how much love you have to offer..! what should I do? how can I control myself not to give so much love?i am really depressed and confused.. thank you in advance!

  21. Carolyn

    Hello Alex,
    This article came to me in perfect timing. I have been in a LDR with someone since the beginning of October. We have never met in person. He was distant for about a week and so was I, then he texted and said that he wanted a deeper connection with me. I have asked him to text me 2-3 times per week and talk on the phone at least once per week. Maybe I am too needy. I think I do need to learn to detach more. I do not want to be co dependent. I have plenty of other interests. He is an alpha male, I am feminine and a water sign who is the past has always given too much. This has to stop and listening to your videos and reading your articles will help I am sure. My love interest said he would come hear to be with me perhaps for New Years but nothing is certain. I am feeling quite insecure about this relationship. Likely I need to let it go.

  22. Anette

    Thank you Alex, this really made me start thinking of my part of being the woman who love too much.

  23. Ratinder Kaur

    Bonjour Respected Sir . Thanks for sending this article “I love too much ” . Love to hear from you always sir .
    Everyone has gone through the phase of loving n depending too much in love n ending up with suffering n reaching to conclude that love hurtsn then listening to family members . They lose confidence that effect in future as well .
    2things are termed as “emotional dependency”.First being needy, clingy ,loss of reasoning with “I am too in love “words .we keep on making efforts for love to work knowing that things are not working .2nd is when we keep on giving chances to our significant other even when he/she is making mistakes with hope that they will change with our love.
    Losing ourself in love is worst mistake we have done or are doing when we surrender our happiness to that person .All personal work or things or people take a back seat that leads to more suffering .we all forget to draw a line even in love feeling that love has no boundaries .
    Balance approach is essential to know where relation stands . Both should be equal in efforts , understand , respect . But if nothing is coming out of it we should not be scared to move on and fear of loss should not surround our minds .A breath of fresh air is the call of time at that time .
    Sir I hope you will like the matter .If you think there is something wrong please let me know n suggest your advice also .It’s really thankful that your teaching has changed to a better . U r always lovable . waiting for your reply n message . stay healthy , happy , stronger always as u move to a path of glory day by day .lots of love n regards .

  24. Carol Shalala

    Amazing advice. I’ve felt like this before. Your e-book made me realise that personal development plays a huge role in ensuring balance in any relationship.

    Thank you Alex.


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About Alex

"What if the true definition of love was not what you thought it was?" It’s time to make your own.

Alex Cormont

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