How to spice up your love life at home!
When two people have been together for a long time, it’s normal that things might start to feel a bit routine after a while. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to accept it! Your relationship doesn’t have to become monotonous, predictable, or even boring just because you’re past the honeymoon stage. So many people come to me for help in regards to this particular topic, so I wanted to write today’s article on how to spice up your love life.
As I write this piece, we are currently in a period of social distancing, so I will be including a special segment on how to spice up your relationship when you’re cooped up in the house together! Learning how to spice up your love life will serve you in the long-term and will help you to protect your relationship from feeling stagnant. It’s now the perfect time to reconnect with the one you love and make your bond stronger than ever.
I want to go deeper than just offering you some ideas for cute things to do for your partner when the relationship is has started to feel a little lackluster. I don’t want to give you a bandaid, I want to help you recalibrate your relationship so that love, romance and excitement are naturally present. It’s all about laying the right foundation, adopting the right mindset, and incorporating concrete actions into your everyday life. This way, you can rekindle the flame and experience more passion than ever before. So without further ado, let’s take a look at how to do this and turn up the heat!
Spice up your love life by making some personal improvements
Before we jump into the best ways to spice up your love life, we need to take a look at how to lay the proper foundation. One of the first things I explain to my clients who come to me with this question is this simple fact: How interesting your relationship is will be directly linked to how interesting you are.
All too often we forget how important our independent lives are when it comes to keeping a relationship fun and exciting. So, take a moment to answer these questions.
Do you find your personal life to be interesting and inspiring?
What kind of things could you start doing to spice up your life?
Do you need new projects, goals, or even ways to connect with your partner?
A fulfilling personal life is of the most important elements of a healthy couple’s love life. Always remember to keep your own life interesting in order to keep your relationship interesting.
By making personal improvements, you will start to see a snowball effect. First, your own sense of self confidence will receive a boost because confidence goes hand in hand with a sense of accomplishment. Second, your significant other is going to notice what you’ve been doing and will begin to see you in a new light. Not only will he or she be impressed by your new appetite for life and find you all the more attractive, but it can serve as some inspiration as well. You will essentially be leading by an example that will inspire your partner to want to step up and make personal improvements as well.
The result is that both of you simultaneously create a more enriching life and when you come together, everything will start to feel more exciting. This makes it even easier for you to reintroduce romance into the relationship.
And romance, my friends, has a lifetime value. Make time for it in your relationship. Don’t let life get in the way, even though we all have our busy schedules. It’s important to consciously allocate time to your partner and to nurturing your relationship because like anything of value, a relationship requires maintenance. It evolves and you will both need to actively think about things to do to spice up your love life. In fact, our friends at Crated with Love have created a fantastic article with 22 ideas for at-home date nights that you can try while you’re cooped up at home together! Click the link to check them out and remember, things can still be romantic, even if you’re just at the house.
How to spice up your love life with your partner
First things first, as I was saying, you’ve got to set aside time to create a personal life that brings you joy, but you also have to make time for your relationship! And I don’t just mean time this afternoon for some snuggles while you’re falling asleep in front of the TV, I mean you have to anticipate. Make plans in your relationship and give yourselves things to look forward to. Plan romantic trips for two, plan goals, plan common life projects… Future plans are huge. They create a huge sense of excitement and complicity that will carry over into the intimacy you share.
By the way, make sure you’re planning things you BOTH actually want to do. It shouldn’t feel like a chore; it should be fun! So let’s take a look at some fun things you can do to spice up your love life starting today.
Things to spice up your love life through dates: Innovation is key
One of the biggest relationship killers is the routine. We often take romance for granted or lose track of it because we’ve been together for so long. So I encourage you to create a new rule in your relationship. Once a week or once every two weeks, go out on a date together. You could go out and try something new together, check out a new place, or even if you’re stuck at home during this period of social distancing, make an effort to dress up for one another and have a romantic date night in your very own living room.
The simple act of getting dressed and making yourself feel attractive to your partner will put you in a different mindset. Little things like this can make a big difference! It will invite romance into the moment you share and make it feel special.
Just remember to do NEW things. Innovation is key when you want to know to spice up your love life with your spouse or your partner. Think outside the box, or in our current situation, inside the box! If you want to add a little mystery to your date nights, I highly recommend signing up for a date night box subscription through Crated with Love and get a new date night every month! Each box you receive has a different theme and a new date night adventure.
Mix things up and don’t be afraid to try new things together. The beginning of the relationship was so exciting because everything felt so new and fresh, so bring back those feelings by challenging yourselves to innovate!
Spice up love life: Actions vs words
Many times people will come to me saying, “Alex I want to spice things up in my relationship again because my partner isn’t telling me they love me and I’m scared of losing them.” Yes, romance is a very important element of a relationship but we also need to remember that everyone has their own love language, and you have to make sure you know what your partner’s is. People communicate their love for you through different ways, whether it’s acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation, sharing quality time, or physical touch.
Pay attention to your partner’s way of sharing their love for you. Perhaps it isn’t through words of affirmation, but through giving you their free time when they could be spending it with their friends.
Keep in mind that another crucial part of spicing things up in a relationship is making sure that the other person feels validated and appreciated. The more cherished a person feels, the easier it is to spice things up and want to share moments of intimacy. Human beings are motivated by the feeling of being rewarded. The more positive of a reaction your partner gets, the more inclined he or she will be to want to repeat the action. This means that in essence, you can help your partner to learn how to give you what you need to be fulfilled by the relationship. This is true whether you want to know how to spice things up in your relationship in general, or if you’re wondering “How to spice up my sex life.”
Let’s not underestimate the importance of touch and remember, you can initiate! For example, when your partner walks by, place your hand on the small of their back, when they least expect it (like when you’re in an elevator), steal a kiss, tell him or her that tonight they’ll be getting a candlelight massage… When you initiate, you can spark your partner’s interest and what’s more, he or she will have to step up to get on your level. This is when things get interesting!
I want to spice up my love life: The power of natural distance
At the beginning of your relationship, one of the reasons things were so exciting was that there was a natural distance that existed between you. You had your own life, your own schedule, and you weren’t available to your partner all the time, right? When you start living with someone it’s normal that things might start to feel a bit monotonous at times but like I said above, that doesn’t mean that you have no power over this!
It is possible to spice things up at home by becoming the exciting challenge again. This goes hand in hand with what I was saying about making personal improvements. I also want to mention that if a partner has stopped making an effort to be romantic or to pursue you, it means that they’ve lost the feeling that they need to fight for you and attract you. So, the solution is to get busy actively working on cultivating a life that you’re proud of. In doing so, you will recreate a natural distance between you that will spark your partner’s interest. You will become an exciting challenge again and they will have to pursue and woo you. This is a very simple way to spark the seduction process again.
Again, the best way to spice up your love life is to make things feel fresh, and there are so many ways that you can do this! All you have to do is think about how to step out of the routine, and think outside the box!
How to spice up a love life while social distancing
The last thing I want to go over with you in today’s article is how to spice things up in your love life when you’re at home together all day long during this period of social distancing.
The truth is that we have to remain positive and remember to look at the silver linings during this time. One thing to keep in mind is that now we have been given the opportunity to spend much more time with the person we love at home which means we have the chance to become closer than ever, to share, communicate, and work on spicing things up like never before!
My first tip for you is to make sure you set aside some personal time. I know we are talking about spicing things up in your relationship but as we saw above, having time for yourself is crucial (especially when you’re at home all day long). Take a couple of hours each day to be on your own while you exercise, read, work on your projects or just do things that make you feel good!
Give yourself a morning routine. It will help you to create structure and it can improve your peace of mind. It will help your relationship as well because you will be feeling better.
Next, make sure you PLAN! This period is temporary so plan out the fun activities you’re going to share when all of this social distancing is over. Plan a little trip together, salsa dancing classes, etc. If you can plan together, it will make both of you feel happy and have something to look forward to. It will reintroduce positive emotions, complicity, and excitement. Share and talk about the things you’ve always wanted to try, places you’ve always wanted to go, and start planning for the future!
While you’re at home, make sure you give yourself date nights where you either order something new or your favorite foods, and you get dressed up for each other.
And last but not least, and this will come as no surprise, use this time to focus on intimacy. Though stores are closed, many of them are still delivering. You can order new lingerie, toys, or even books that give you new positions to try, and you can spice things up in the bedroom. Don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone (as long as you’re enjoying it!) and be open to trying new things with your partner.
Spicing things up in your love life IS possible
My friends, even if it has been a while since things have felt exiting in your relationship I want you to rest assured that you can turn things around. Just remember that you have to think about how to introduce new activities into your relationship, make your partner feel cherished, make everyday things feel special, make sure you set aside time for yourself to make personal improvements, and don’t forget to plan things to look forward to in the future. Make time for romance, plan dates, and don’t forget to check out the amazing date night box subscription I told you about from our friends at Crated with Love.
It’s the perfect way to spice up your love life at any point in your relationship!
And remember, it’s not your sole responsibility to keep things interesting in your relationship because you two are a team, but you can set an example of the type of relationship you want to build. You can inspire your partner to step up and together, you can build the relationship of your dreams.
If you have any questions or if you would like one on one help, please feel free to reach out to me for a private coaching session by clicking here.
Ciao ciao my friends.
Your #1 French relationship coach,