How to apologize to a man: The secret!
Swallowing your pride and deciding to apologize to someone you’ve done wrong is one thing, and knowing how to do it properly and constructively is another! Hi ladies, and welcome to this site where I share all of my expertise with you through these articles and the videos on my YouTube Channel. Today’s article is going to be about a subject that people often ask me about: How to apologize to a man in the best way possible.
As you know, men and women operate differently and sometimes what seems logical to you does not seem logical to a man. Making things right after an argument or seeking forgiveness after you’ve done something wrong can fall into this category, but I am here to help. More often than not, you’re going to want to talk it out, explain where you’re coming from and talk about your emotions. Men usually don’t operate the same way.
So what does this mean for us? Well, let’s dive into how to apologize to a man and make your apology undo the damage that’s been done!
How to apologize to a guy in the best way possible
As we start things off, I want to clarify something. A client came to me recently asking about how to apologize to a man, because things weren’t going well with the guy she had been seeing. But there was one, big problem. She hadn’t done anything wrong! She was just in a relationship with a manipulative man that made her feel like she needed to take the blame for everything and by doing so, he perpetually kept her in a position of inferiority. So before we continue, I just want to make sure that you aren’t dating someone who constantly blames you for everything, makes you feel like you are not good enough and makes you feel like you’re always doing everything wrong.
If you’re with someone like this, this article is not for you and I recommend reading this article on toxic relationships. I know this may seem harsh, but I want each and every single one of you to be truly happy in love; not with someone who doesn’t value you and puts you down. If you’re with a narcissist or a manipulative man, you should not be apologizing to him. The goal is 100% happiness in a relationship! Not 50/50.
Now, if you truly have done something that hurt your significant other or the man you’re seeing (or any man in general actually), there are ways to redeem yourself and help him to trust you again.
How to apologize to a man: The biggest thing to keep in mind
As I was saying at the beginning of this article, I have worked with many people in this situation. I’ve been doing this since 2007 and have coached thousands upon thousands of both men and women all around the world and my experience in the field has highlighted some recurring patterns.
Namely the fact that more often than not, women will want to talk it about but I have to stress the importance of realizing that this is not how a man’s mind works. He’s not going to want to talk it into the ground. He only cares about two simple things: Why this happened and whether or not you’re going to change. He isn’t going to want to listen to explanations over hours and hours, he just wants to know why it happened and he wants to know if you can prove to him that you’ll never make this mistake again.
I think you know where I am going with this. He’s going to be much more responsive to actions than words. We’ve all heard the expression, “Actions speak louder than words” and I can’t tell you how true this is!
Let’s take a simple example. Maybe you were way too jealous and there wasn’t a good reason for it. He wasn’t checking out other girls or flirting with anyone other than you, and you only acted the way you did because you were lacking a bit of self-confidence. So the best way to apologize to a guy in this situation is to say, “Hey listen I’m sorry for behaving the way that I did. It was because I wasn’t feeling confident…”
And then you need to back your words up with concrete actions.
“Now that I’m doing yoga, meditating and going to the gym, I feel so much better and I’ve been making some serious improvements.”
This will be concrete proof to him that you’re working on the problem and you’re not going to make the same mistake again. No one likes empty words and even sincere words can feel empty if there are no actions taking place to back them up.
So if you want to know how to apologize to a guy you hurt for overreacting or for hurting him in any way, let him know why it happened and more importantly, what you’re doing to change it!
Best way to apologize: Concrete change
So when you want to apologize to a man, remember that there is the “why” and the “how.”
Why this happened, and how you’re going to ensure that it doesn’t happen again! I know that when the man you care about is upset with you it’s hard not to feel overwhelmed by your emotions. That’s why I am always talking about how helpful it is to work on boosting your self-confidence by getting physically active, updating your appearance with new clothes or maybe even a makeover, and working on releasing all of your negative emotions.
If you find that you’re really struggling with making concrete changes and working on your self-confidence, I recommend reaching out to me or a member of my team by clicking here. We can help you to get in control of your emotions. Remember, the most important thing here is to make sure that you are the author of your own destiny and that you’re doing things that benefit you and set you up for future happiness.
These types of problems in your relationship can be a thing of the past and the beauty of this is that there are solutions available to you!
Remember, apologizing to a man is all about the why and the how, so work on getting to the point quickly. Show him that this was just a small problem and you’re already implementing the solution.
In addition to this, I have another useful tip for you to keep in mind. It’s really important that you ask him what he thinks. When you conclude your apology, ask him how he feels, listen to him, and again, change for the better!
How to say sorry to someone after acting needy
I wanted to include a little section on this topic because this is another thing that I often deal with in coaching sessions. Sometimes a person will find themselves in a position where their partner is upset with them because they acted too clingy or needy, so I wanted to share some tips with you about how you can undo the damage.
We need to keep in mind that men are hunters and will always love a challenge, which means that they love to fight for you. This is precisely why neediness is bad.
So first things first, NEVER apologize to a man after acting needy! If you apologize to him in this type of situation, it’s going to put you in a position of weaker power and it will then become easier for him to take you for granted. Instead of acting ashamed of your behavior, take action. Like I said above, it’s not about words now; it’s about behavior and your actions. Now is the perfect time to show him the new version of yourself.
Every time I coach a woman who is asking me how to say sorry, I tell her to talk to the guy as if he was a really good friend. Smile, be positive and talk to him about all the fun new things she’s doing in her life. This how you apologize to someone and reassure them at the same time that you’re making real changes.
Moreover, I want to take a moment to look at how the mind works. Every time you say “I’m sorry” to someone, their mind will immediately focus on the emotions associated with the thing you are apologizing for. And these emotions tend to be negative, of course. This is not what we want! We want to start on a fresh new page.
So, ladies, it’s not always easy but this is not the end of the world. You can redeem yourself after acting needy, you can apologize and make things right if you’ve hurt the man you love, and you can move past this together.
You just need to make the right moves and show that it’s ok. Show him that you’re moving forward and that you’re making tomorrow better.
Everything will be fine if you can keep a cool head and be solution-oriented, which you are! You’ve already gone out of your way to read this article 😉
I wish you all the very best, ladies.
Your #1 French relationship coach,