6 Signs of a toxic man in a relationship you need to know!
Being able to pinpoint the signs of a toxic man might not be the easiest thing to do when you’re not sure of what to look for. It’s even harder when you’ve developed feelings for the man you’ve been dating because as human beings, we always want to find excuses for the people we love. What’s even more frustrating is that no man is going to present himself to you saying, “Hi! I’m a very toxic individual and I would love to date you!”
No, it’s something that usually starts to become evident down the line. At first, he’ll try to ensure that you think that he’s a great guy, he’ll be charming, he’ll be sweet, he’ll ask you questions, give you attention, compliments, and he’ll be so lovely that you wind up thinking that he’s a good guy. But there are signs to keep an eye out for that will tell you if this guy is toxic, and if you want to know what these are, you’ve come to the right place!
In today’s article, I am going to give you 6 signs of a toxic man so that you can be sure to steer clear of any situation that will make you unhappy in the future. You deserve real love from a guy that truly respects you and by the time you reach the end of this article, you’ll know exactly what to guard against!
Signs of a toxic man in a relationship: The #1 rule
Here’s the thing. A toxic man will never tell you that he’s toxic. That’s the #1 rule to keep in mind. In fact, he’ll hide it from you while he’s trying to make you fall for him. He can be the perfect gentleman because he knows exactly how to make a woman fall for him and then when she does, he starts to reveal his true colors.
Now, I want to mention that there is a difference between a toxic boyfriend and a situation in which you might be struggling with codependency. In some cases, when a person is experiencing issues with codependency, they might require too much of their partner.
So, let’s take a look at the biggest signs he’s toxic so that you can get the bottom of this situation once and for all!
The very first thing I want to call your attention to when you’re looking for signs he’s toxic is whether or not he always has something negative to say to you. Maybe he makes you feel like you’re not good enough, like nothing you ever do is enough, maybe he makes you feel like you’re stupid…
When a guy is constantly on your case about pretty much anything you do, you have got to move on because you deserve better. I want you to be careful, ladies. You don’t have anything to prove to a man!
I also want you to pay attention to how he teases you because there is a difference between being playful and devaluing you. Sometimes a guy can do or say things to you to devalue you in the relationship because they want to be in the position of power. It’s not healthy and it’s toxic. So sign #1 of a toxic man is if he’s always looking at what you’re doing wrong and constantly focusing on your weakness. The more this happens, the more you lose self-confidence and this is most definitely NOT what a relationship should be about!
Is he toxic: He’s confusing
Here is another one of the most common signs of a toxic man. If this guy is constantly playing hot and cold with you, it means he’s just playing. He’s not really here to get to know you and make you happy, and yes, this is toxic.
In addition to this, if you’re wondering “Is my boyfriend toxic,” ask yourself this question: Does he ever make the first move? Or is it always you that has to initiate every interaction and every moment you spend together? If he never texts you, never calls you, and on top of that the topic of every conversation you have with him is sexual, then you need to be careful. A toxic man won’t care about the relationship or about making you happy; they’ll only care about what they want and what they can get from you. If the relationship is only about sex, then the man will have all the power and this is not what we want!
In fact, this reminds me of a client I had in Switzerland. I remember her saying, “Alex, I just don’t get it. I’ve been dating this guy for two years and we only see each other once a month. He doesn’t really have time for me because he’s so busy but when we’re together I’m like a princess.” So I had to ask her what she meant by that. I wanted to know what activities they did when they were together, and she told me that they spent the whole time in bed because that’s what he wanted.
I said, “So how does that make you a princess? You’re making excuses for a man that does not value you enough and this needs to stop.”
Signs of a toxic boyfriend: His words don’t match his actions
This is a classic sign your boyfriend is toxic. Let’s say that this guy is always telling you that the loves you but he never wants to see you. Or he tells you something like, “Sure I want to be in a relationship” but creates a “relationship” based on casual sex. A guy is toxic when his actions do not match his words and he’s always trying to make you believe in something that he’s not giving you. Be careful ladies, a lot of guys will try to make excuses just so that they don’t have to commit to being in a relationship and this is not fair to you.
There was another client that I worked with recently and her guy was saying, “I just got divorced two years ago so I don’t want to be in a relationship with you. Let’s see where it goes, maybe one day you’ll be my girlfriend…”
Which brings me to sign #5.
A toxic boyfriend will give you false hope. He’ll say something along the lines of, “Oh, we don’t know what tomorrow will bring so let’s just see what happens. Maybe we’ll be exclusive one day.” This is him holding on to the power. He doesn’t care about what you want; he wants to keep you on hold.
I know this is really unpleasant to read but I vow to always deliver you the truth and never sugarcoat things. I want you to be able to grant yourself access to the love life of your dreams and I don’t want you to be kept on hold by anybody! A man has to respect you and know your worth if he wants to be with you.
Is my boyfriend toxic: He puts you in competition with other women
This is a huge one. If the guy you’ve been seeing tells you that he’s not sure if he can commit to a relationship with you because he’s met this other girl who’s more X Y or Z than you, he’s putting you up against other people and this is extremely toxic. This is more than just being hot and cold; this is destructive.
As I said, a toxic guy will usually start showing signs of being toxic a couple of weeks into dating so you need to be very careful. At the beginning, he’s the perfect gentleman but little by little, you’ll start to realize that something is off. While he was showing you love in the beginning, talking about how he’s ready to start a relationship, the moment he realizes you’re falling for him, he’ll change his behavior. THIS is toxic.
So, my friends, it’s actually really easy to spot the signs of toxic people. It’s when you’re unhappy when you feel like you don’t recognize him anymore, and when it’s always about what he wants. Truth be told, in 90% of the cases when a person is wondering “Is he toxic,” the answer is yes. If he wasn’t, the question wouldn’t even be present.
Spotting a toxic boyfriend
To summarize, there are 6 key points to be on the lookout for when you’re looking for signs of a toxic man in a relationship are as follows. And no, they do not have to be in any particular order!
1. He always has something negative to say about you
2. He’s perpetually hot and cold with you
3. He never makes the first step
4. His words never match his actions
5. He gives you false hope
6. He is dating other girls and is putting you in competition with them
Ladies, you are in control of your own happiness and what you allow into your life. If you want a happy, healthy relationship that is going to withstand the test of time, you’ll need a partner who is serious about you. You’ll need someone who truly respects and loves you, and wants to build the same kind of future that you do. Don’t ever allow yourself to cling to someone who is not giving you what you deserve in the hopes that he will change one day. You’ve got to be very careful if you want to build a strong relationship, and I’ll say it again because it’s so important! You should be with a genuinely good man that is going to truly love you for who you are.
If you need help analyzing your situation or paving the way towards a meaningful love story, I encourage you to reach out to me. In just one hour we can completely transform your love life. To book a private coaching session, all you have to do is click here and it would be my pleasure to help guide you.
You can also check out my YouTube channel where you can find hundreds of videos that will help you coach yourself through all of the challenges you might face in your love life. Remember, I am here to help!
I wish you all the best in love.
Ciao ciao les amies,