Fear of Rejection: The Keys For Understanding and Overcoming It!

by | December 23rd 2019 | 8 comments

“I love being loved and I’m afraid of what other people think, and I’ve been rejected more than once so I don’t feel at ease. Now I have a mental block. I have a hard time getting attached and investing in a new relationship because I have a serious fear of rejection. I’d really like to change and that is why I am asking for your help, Alexander!” I was working on developing self-confidence with a coachee, and that was the first thing he said to me. As I know that many men and women struggle with this, I wanted to write an article that would present various keys and tools to help you overcome the fear of rejection.

If you’re someone who is afraid of what people think about you and you’re worried about not being accepted and appreciated for who you are, this article is for you. You will find an analysis of the situation that is making you unhappy but also how to overcome it. If the issues that you are experiencing are stemming from a feeling of inferiority, you’re going to have to work primarily on overcoming shyness!

Defining the fear of rejection…

Fear is categorized by a feeling of worry or anxiety and is usually experienced when faced with some form of threat or danger. This fear is going to have a direct effect on certain actions and reactions when faced with various situations. In order to fight against these fears, working with a life coach is often one of the best solutions. This can allow you to organize your efforts and develop an effective plan.

The feeling of rejection is related to a form of deliberate exclusion by someone from a romantic or social relationship. This feeling arises when a person feels different from everyone else and therefore unappreciated by them.

The fear of rejection is painful and can force a person to close up because he or she is afraid of being different from not being liked, or simply because they are lacking self-confidence. Being criticized or judged is one of the hardest things for someone struggling with the fear of rejection.

Rejection: Why are people so afraid of it?

The fear of rejection comes from the desire to be appreciated by those around us. Every human being appreciates being liked even though it’s hard for us like everybody. What’s more, it’s quite hard for some people to open up to others because of the fear of prejudices that people may have against them. There’s more than one type of fear of rejection and I’d like to talk about the two main ones: the fear of not being appreciated by loved ones and the fear of being rejected by the person you love.

The fear of rejection by loved ones!

From a very young age, we all feel the desire to be a part of a group. Our family, our peers, society… as we grow up and develop our own personalities, we realize that we’re different and that some attitudes or characteristics might be frowned upon or deemed unacceptable.

This is precisely when a lack of self-confidence begins to settle in and puts the brakes on your platonic and romantic relationship. You try to change to be like everyone else so that you can become a part of the group, but it’s important to recognize that this is the fear of rejection at play.

You begin to do things you wouldn’t normally do simply to make other people like and accept you. When you are scared of rejection, you feel uncomfortable and awkward and your self-esteem decreases. It is crucial that you avoid this and stay true to yourself in any circumstance so that you can be who you are without wearing a mask just to please someone.

Very often, a fear of rejection and criticism stems from a person’s childhood. Perhaps they felt rejected by a parent or another important family member. If you were a victim of “conditional love,” you might be suffering from this fear because you have a void to fill. For example, if you grew up in a family with many brothers and sisters, you may have felt rejected, left out, or ostracized by them.

The fear of being rejected in love

Why are you afraid of rejection in love and what can you do to overcome this feeling? This isn’t a fear of love… it’s the fear of the consequences that can sometimes accompany love. This is how are you can fear being rejected by someone you love.

The fear of rejection is actually one of the main reasons why many people struggle with seduction. Pretty much everyone has already experienced painful rejection, whether it was by someone they deeply cared about or someone that they wanted to get to know. If you’re worried about being pushed away, you can experience various mental blocks.

A man or a woman may have seriously shut you down in the past and since that day no longer feels confident. You’re scared of trying to seduce someone because you don’t ever want to be rejected like that again.

If you’re struggling with, you might seize up when you want to show someone that you love them. The problem is that your fear of rejection and love keeps you from doing what you really want to do. It makes you hold back and keep quiet. This is a situation that can drive you crazy and fill you with anxiety.

What factors lead to the development of the fear of rejection?

Very often this fear develops with time. It can affect anyone anywhere and it should not be taken lightly because it can lead to isolation and depression. There are two principal factors explain this phenomenon.

I’m afraid of rejection because of a painful relationship

It’s normal to be apprehensive if you’ve experienced a toxic relationship. In addition to happening when a person wants to be in a relationship again, it can also happen when they’re trying to expand their social circle.

For example, if someone was in a relationship with a narcissist, it is not uncommon to see a decrease in their desire for contact with others. They feel uncomfortable and uneasy. What’s more, it can be hard to disassociate what is normal from what isn’t, and this can lead to the fear of being judged by others.

To protect yourself against this, you may hide behind excuses and avoid contact with others. Various violent or challenging experiences can modify a person’s perception of reality and can have negative consequences.

I have an intense fear of rejection as a result of heartbreak.

When a person has been rejected and has suffered as a result, there will be consequences in their daily life. Heartbreak or a painful break up can give rise to reactions that the person doesn’t realize until later on down the line (if at all).

There is notably the fear of attachment because the person doesn’t want to get attached only to be rejected later. This often leads to short-lived relationships.

What’s more, heartbreak can make a person lose faith in love and in their ability to be appreciated by people. The person to experience the fear of not being liked, not having the right attitude, for not being loved…

Fortunately, there is a way to overcome the fear of rejection.

How to overcome the fear of rejection!

It’s very painful to feel rejected. This fear can haunt you and make you pull away from others. You’re tired of being scared of being rejected so I’ve compiled three surefire tools for overcoming this fear!

1. Confront your psychological fear of rejection and accept it

Don’t try to hide from it! You have to accept the truth: you are struggling with the fear of rejection. This feeling is blocking you and holding you back from seducing someone or truly connecting with your significant other. You have to confront this fear and accept it so that you can move forward and overcome it.

The fear of not being loved makes you retreat and lose track of who you are. You might be a shy person and your introverted personality isn’t making things easier for you right now. It’s important that you realize that the fear of what other people might think is making you pull away and hide instead of showcasing your personality.

Whatever the case maybe you have to accept your fear of rejection so that you will be able to start working on overcoming it. Confront this negative feeling and fight back when you see it surging up. Don’t try to run away! Have the courage to confront what other people think. Stop making yourself smaller, especially if you are in a relationship with a manipulative person that set you on this track!

How to get over fear of rejection by boosting your self-confidence

When it comes to overcoming the fear of rejection, you absolutely must work on your charm. There’s no miracle solution for this – there are just well-known actions that you have to apply.

Take care of yourself, dress in a way that makes you feel confident and choose outfits that would make you feel ready to challenge any type of rejection. Don’t let this fear paralyze you or control your actions any longer.

Get more exercise, buy yourself some new clothes, change your hair… do whatever you feel would make you more confident have that ease when faced with any situation in your daily life. This way you will undoubtedly feel better about yourself and be more than capable of facing other people.

Stop allowing yourself to feel inferior and tell yourself that if they can reject to you, you can reject them too! Perhaps the very people that have rejected you have the same exact fear and you’ve just witnessed their defense mechanism.

Get rid of the fear of rejection by opening up to others

Having a fear of rejection can really paralyze you and make you close yourself off from people that could bring you great amounts of joy… So you need to change your state of mind and become aware of the fact not everyone is out to hurt you!

Staying locked up at home so that you don’t have to confront your fear is the worst thing you could do! You have to overcome your fear of rejection and get excited about life. Stop being afraid of others by learning to get to know them instead of imagining what their behavior will be like.

Go out, see your friends, and you might just meet someone special and overcome this fear. The more you confront and overcome your fear the more likely you will be to make it become a thing of the past. Once you do this you will finally be able to live the life you’ve always wanted to live!

Your coach in love and personal development

Alexandre Cormont

8 Comments

  1. Sarah Birt

    Very well said and rejection is part of life it’s how we deal with it that makes us who we are.

    Reply
  2. Nana aliyu

    Am glad because you just solve for me and am educated about thanks God bless am Nana from Nigeria

    Reply
    • Alex Cormont

      Hi Nana,
      Thanks for reading this blog about fear of rejection. 🙂
      Best,
      Alex

  3. Ratinder Kaur

    Bonjour Dear Sir .True thanks for sending this article my way as I always look forward to hear from you .”Fear of rejection “is every where that makes the person clingy.such is the fear that person loses their confidence , personality n leads to isolation n depression.It starts very early in family when parents abuse,ignore or compare the child all the time .It makes all the relationship toxic as they lose faith in all forms of relation.
    Such people become introverts , avoid contacts their actions n reactions are not normal ,even personality trauma.The effect of past impact the whole life . Either they stay away from relationship or become dominating n controlling.
    All want love n acceptance but not a toxic person or relation.let not the fear of rejection affect the beautiful love .Sir I hope you like the matter .if you don’t agree or find anything wrong please let me know and suggest me . thanks again . looking forward to your reply and message.Keep up the path of glory with your wonderful lessons n teaching in 2020 also .love tosee u on the top with smiles n happiness . lots of love n regards.

    Reply
  4. Ratinder Kaur

    ….

    Reply
  5. Ratinder Kaur
    • Alex Cormont

      Thanks for reading my blog about fear of rejection. 🙂

  6. Rina

    From many days i amnin long distance relationship, he was my fb friend he riquested every where then he came to my city meet me thenni started liking them ,he used to care a lot love affection caring was more in this relationship suddenly he told me stay for, then i forced him asked the reason ,that time he told he had a gf from three years and ow she came to know our relationship .we fought big qurrel and separated again i asked sorry ,he told me he is leaing his gf and i want i love him very much ,for one and half year he only came to meet me always now days he didnt call me ,for some reason i fought with him . So if i call he say i am busy dont call call me he says when i am force i will only call u he says he has blocked my fb account watsaap he did not block but he doesnot recive my call what to do i am not knowing confused 15days he is not in contact with me .mu life is become full disturbed alex what to do plz suggest me

    Reply

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"What if the true definition of love was not what you thought it was?" It’s time to make your own.

Alex Cormont

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