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Emotionally Independent: 3 Keys For Finding It And Maintaining It In Your Life!

by | March 19th 2020 | 1 comment

When I started my career as a love and relationship coach, I didn’t realize how big of a problem emotional dependency really was… Not only for the relationship but also for a person’s wellbeing. As a result of being faced with many situations revolving around this issue, I came to understand that it was a recurring issue that can affect anyone at any time. Regardless of our age, if we want to find love, get ex back, or have a more satisfying relationship, the risk having trouble being emotionally independent considerably increases, especially when you’re living vicariously through the other person.

The worst part is that all of this tends to happen without you even realizing it. What’s more, it’s usually your friends or loved ones that sound the alarm. It’s important to listen to them… but it doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to become emotionally independent again. You just need to work on yourself and be aware of what’s going on.
So what do you need to do to ensure that being emotionally dependent remains a thing of the past? What can you do to feel better and be free of depending on your partner? What techniques exist for becoming more confident in yourself? You are going to find the answers to all of these questions throughout this article that will also explore personal development. The notion of emotional independence is much more vast than one might think.

Emotionally independent: What exactly does this mean?

Let’s begin by defining “autonomy.” Simply put, it is the ability to grow independently from anyone else. When it comes to emotional independence, the definition is as follows:
If you are emotionally independent, you are able to evolve independently on an emotional level.
We regularly talk about emotional dependency, which has a more or less negative connotation and is the opposite of emotional independence. Yet the real goal is being emotionally self-reliant.
The idea is not to live in solitude and completely autonomously – you want to free yourself from feeling like your emotions depend solely on your partner. As I always say, “You can’t be happy in a relationship until you’re able to be happy on your own.”
Whether it’s to hold on to your independence in a relationship, avoid moving too quickly when you meet someone, or to avoid making false promises to your ex, it’s crucial that you maintain a form of liberty.
The majority of people tend to confuse being emotionally independent with wanting to be cut off from others. The truth is that these two terms have nothing to do with one another! The goal is not to isolate yourself and never again show any signs of interest or feelings… You just need to find the right balance.
If your partner doesn’t reply to your messages within the hour, you shouldn’t panic. Being strong and knowing, “My happiness depends on me,” will help you to avoid fixating on the relationship and allowing your entire life to revolve around it. By being overprotective of your relationship and your partner, you can severely damage the relationship. The more pressure you put, the more your relationship is going to feel suffocated. In truth, you have to be happy without needing to spend every second with your significant other. If your happiness depends on his or her presence, you’re setting yourself up for suffering when things don’t go the way that you would like.

How to be emotionally independent: Define what is missing from your life!

When a person is looking for a solution to an issue, especially an issue like emotional dependence, there is no sense charging forward full speed without really thinking things through. If not, you risk falling into traps, which is exactly why help from a coach is necessary. Not only will this grant you access to advising from a professional, but it will also give you an objective, third-party point of view. If you’d like guidance from a pro, all you have to do it click here.
When you’re having car trouble, you take the time to understand where the issue is stemming from before you try manipulating anything or taking it to the shop! The same idea can be applied to working with a love and relationship expert that can help point you in the right direction.
If you really want to know how to become more independent in your relationship, you must first pinpoint the root of the problem. This way, you will know which method will be most appropriate for your situation. When you want to make serious, concrete changes, you have to determine what kind of problem you’re experiencing. There are multiple elements to take into consideration that will clarify the situation.
After having worked with so many coachees in finding happiness in love and life, I’ve noted that there are various recurrent issues:
1. A lack of self-confidence: Low self-esteem or lack of self-confidence are some of the main reasons behind issues related to being emotionally strong. This can stem from multiple factors like physical complexes, not feeling like you’re good enough, or a loss of confidence in general.
2. The past: Everything that has happened in your past can have a direct effect on your present, and therefore conjure up a need for emotional reassurance. A difficult childhood during which a person did not receive enough love, a painful relationship that ended badly, or being with someone who didn’t want to commit can all leave marks and lead to a fear of losing the person you love most in the world.
3.) After infidelity: A person who has undergone emotional trauma can experience a severe decrease in emotional independence simply because they’re afraid of getting hurt again. If you’d like to know more about bouncing back after cheating has occurred in the relationship, I invite you to read this right away.
It’s clear – signs of emotional dependency always come as a result of an underlying issue, so please don’t be too hard on yourself. That said, I also want to tell you that no good will come from sitting on the couch with your arms crossed, thinking that things are going to get fixed on their own. You’ve already made a big step by reading this article, and now it’s time to figure out what exactly needs to change so that you will no longer be blocked from being happy.

How to be strong again…

I’d like to specify here that this isn’t only about love and relationships… Becoming emotionally self-reliant and happy goes far beyond that and depends on your attitude. Only you and your ability to bounce back will be able to make a difference. No one else can do the work for you. The people that have the courage to take action will overcome these obstacles and succeed in becoming emotionally independent. Don’t underestimate the physiological aspect…
If you want to move forward, you have to be ready to hear things that you might not want to hear. You’ll need to be motivated and focused, and you have to understand that this is not going to be fixed overnight. You are going to attain true peace and joy if you define a complete action plan that will make it easy for you to find and share happiness!
In order to no longer suffer and to become emotionally independent, you are going to have to work on the way you see yourself from a social and physical point of view. You have to have activities in your life that make you feel attractive, useful, and loved. You have to be active because nothing will change if you just hang out, moping at home.
You have to make your social circle thrive and start trying out new things while bearing one goal in mind: spend time having fun without your partner.
Repeating these simple actions is going to make you feel better and become more confident. For example, join an association that helps those in need. Get into physical exercise by taking classes or going to a gym where you can meet new people. Get in control of your physique and get the body you’ve always wanted. Each action will have a positive effect and don’t forget to work on pinpointing where your insecurities are coming from.
The trouble with being emotionally independent isn’t the end of the world. You can fix it by spending time doing things that make you happy and working with me!

I wish you lots of success in love and life.


Your love and relationship coach,

Alexandre Cormont

1 Comment

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    That’s practical realistic best advice for most of the men. Koz women can change the gear in short time. But emotional dependency is high in men which makes women to suffocate if the guy attracted cannot go for commitment part.And this kills the friendship as well.


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"What if the true definition of love was not what you thought it was?"
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Alex Cormont

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