Relationship anxiety: Where it comes from and how to stop it for good!
Relationship anxiety is one of the most common issues that I see when people come to me for coaching sessions. It’s as frustrating as it is common, and I know how much a situation like this can make you suffer, so I have chosen this as the topic of today’s article. So many people struggle with relationship anxiety and the negative effect it has on their relationship with the person they love more than anything, but I wanted to go over some solutions that will help you get rid of this fear once and for all.
You’re not doomed to a life of anxiety and by the time you get to the end of this article, you’ll know how to start making changes today. I will be going over why we experience the fear of losing a partner and then I will explain what concrete things you can do to conquer these fears!
But there’s more… Not only will you learn how to vanquish your fear of losing your significant other, but I’m also going to teach you how to make him or her addicted to you! Managing anxiety in a relationship is so important because it helps you to layout a solid foundation that will help your relationship withstand the test of time. I know how scary things can feel sometimes, especially when you’re feeling vulnerable, but you’ve come to the right place. I’ve been coaching men and women since 2007 and I am here to help you!
What is relationship anxiety and why am I experiencing it?
Anxiety in a relationship is nothing new. For some people, it is something that they experience in every single relationship they have whereas for others, it surges up from time to time. In any case, it makes you feel uneasy, can make you toss and turn at night, and in severe cases, it can make you imagine worst-case-scenarios on a regular basis. It manifests itself in different ways and if it isn’t nipped in the bud, it will undermine even the strongest relationships.
The first step in dealing with relationship anxiety is understanding what it is and where it’s coming from.
I’ve coached so many people all around the world who have told me, “This person is so perfect for me, we are happy together and I love our relationship, but I’m terrified of losing them!” They’re worried that their partner will get bored of them, that perhaps they aren’t good enough, or that they’ll lose that magic spark. Things become difficult for a lot of people who get into relationships because as things develop, it starts to feel like there are stakes.
It becomes hard to just develop and maintain the attraction when you start to feel afraid of losing your partner. That’s when you start making big mistakes that can actually damage the relationship. You start acting needy and clingy, you start texting them all the time, you start inadvertently searching for reassurance and validation, you start begging for their attention all the time… These are the things that can make a person feel suffocated and want to pull away, which makes you feel even more insecure and the downward spiral begins.
So, as you can see, relationship anxiety is rooted in insecurity. You don’t feel like you’re in control of your emotions because you aren’t confident in yourself as a person and in yourself as a partner. The solution comes in the form of getting in control of all of these emotions… But how?
I’m glad you asked 😉
How to overcome relationship anxiety with these easy tricks
The good news is that you can get in control of all of your emotions and therefore get in control of the situation!
The first (and biggest) piece of advice I have for you today is that you have to start focusing on YOU. Self-confidence goes hand in hand with a sense of accomplishment, so the more that you are able to feel proud of, the more you will build your sense of pride in yourself. The more pride you feel in your life, the less likely you will be to feel anxious in your relationship.
You’ll see what you bring to the table and you’ll feel good about who you are and what you’re doing, so you won’t experience the fear of wondering if you’re good enough for your partner.
If you really want to overcome relationship anxiety, the first thing to do is work on making your life exciting. Make it exciting for YOU, but also for your partner! I can honestly tell you that there is nothing more attractive than someone who lives a fulfilling life. The more exciting your life, the more your partner is going to want to be a part of it.
Make time for fun, new activities, make time for your passions and ensure that you have professional goals that you’re working towards. The more you have going on, the busier you will be, and the easier it will be to keep your mind off of unnecessarily stressful thoughts about your relationship. Make an effort to steer clear of thoughts that focus on your partner and how they may or may not be feeling about you. This is what puts you in a negative pattern.
Instead, focus on yourself- the only person that you should love unconditionally! Think about what you can bring into your life that will bring you excitement? What will make you stronger than you were before? Incorporate new activities and include the people that make you happy. Spend time with your friends and family, and train your mind to stop focusing on fear.
The more you focus on fear, the more you run the risk of making it a reality. So fill up your schedule with other, more productive things!
When you experience anxiety over a relationship for no reason: Distance
Sometimes people ask me, “Does relationship anxiety go away on its own? I don’t even know why I feel like this!”
Sometimes anxiety in relationships surges up because of residual heartache or trauma over something that you went through in the past. Let’s say that an ex hurt you or broke your trust. It comes as no surprise that you would be feeling anxious. On a subconscious level, you might even be thinking that your current partner is going to put you through the same things that your ex did and if this is the case for you, it’s going to be very important to work on understanding that your current partner is not your ex. In addition to this, I encourage you to work on trust-building exercises so that you can build this relationship up instead of letting the mistakes of an ex wear away at its foundation.
Now, if you’re worried about how to get rid of this anxious feeling in your relationship and you aren’t sure where it’s coming from, distance can be a valuable tool for you.
Introducing a bit of distance into your relationship is a fantastic way to control your emotions AND give your partner the opportunity to miss you! What’s more, when you can distance yourself a little bit from this person and from this relationship, you can focus more on yourself. As I said, in the majority of cases, the fear of losing someone we love comes from our own insecurities.
So if you don’t think that you’re enough or that this person can be happy with you, then it comes as no surprise that you would have lots of negative thoughts. We need to focus on the power of positivity!
Relationships and anxiety: Focus on happiness
If you don’t want to lose this person you have to focus on being happy together. The more you fixate on negative thoughts, the more you run the risk of doing negative things.
If there is genuine happiness in your relationship, this person will not leave you and your relationship anxiety can be laid to rest! He or she will be crazy about you, they’ll show you love, and you will be able to start building your life together in peace.
Creating happiness in your relationship begins with creating happiness in your own life, and this goes hand in hand with what I was saying above about filling up your schedule with people and activities that bring you joy. Next, you will have to maintain the attraction and flirtation between you! This entails understanding some important things about human psychology, and you can find everything you need to know in my eBook which you can download right here!
To take it further, you can work with me personally. Together we can analyze your specific situation and I can provide you with tailor-made advice to help you get rid of anxiety from a relationship. In one session we can change your love life and give you a sense of peace and fulfillment in your relationship! We can set new patterns and you’ll have the results that you want and deserve.
Feeling anxious in a relationship doesn’t mean things have to stay like this!
As this article comes to a close, I want to quickly summarize what we went over together. If you want to know how to stop anxiety in a relationship, you’re going to have to focus on building a sense of happiness and fulfillment in your personal life because this will boost your sense of self-confidence. When you become more confident, your relationship will become stronger as well.
On top of this, focus on positivity and a sense of freshness. Think of new things to do with and without your partner, continue to focus on your personal and professional goals, and don’t forget to keep a sense of attraction and flirtation alive. Remember, we want the relationship to be fun!
This is the perfect way to get someone hooked on you for good! If you can combine this with the things that your partner enjoys, you’re golden.
Ladies and gentlemen, up until now you’ve been scared that your partner might be too good for you and that they’d get bored of you, but all of that is about to change. If you focus on these fears, they’re just going to block you. They’ll make you react in negative ways, you won’t be happy, your relationship won’t feel fulfilling, and one day, you’ll realize that there actually IS something wrong.
But you can change your life today. Just be diligent about applying the tips you learned in this article and once again, I am here to help you every step of the way. My goal is to give you all the tools you need to ensure that you are deeply happy in life and love.
Wishing you all the best,
Your coach when you are struggling with relationship anxiety,