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How To Make Him Commit To A Relationship: Everything You Need To Know!

by | January 20th 2020 | 12 comments

One of the questions that people ask me the most frequently is how to make a man commit to a relationship. If you’ve found this article, chances are that you’ve got someone that you’ve been dating, and you’ve started to wonder how to get him to invest in this budding relationship more. It’s not an easy task, especially because it can often put you in a vulnerable position. In fact, I often see people making serious mistakes when they want to make a man commit that actually end up pushing him further away.

And that is precisely why I wanted to write this article for you on how to make him commit to a relationship while steering clear of all the potential mistakes! It’s easy to accidentally pressure a guy to take things to the next step, but that can undermine your efforts and send you back to square one. In today’s article, I will be going over the keys to making a guy commit while ensuring that you’re laying out the foundation for a very successful relationship.

I’ve been coaching men and women in their relationships since 2007, and it is my goal to deliver tips and techniques that are tried and true. After all these years as a love and relationship coach, I can confidently tell you what works and what doesn’t. Even if you are feeling like the odds are against you or you’ve already made some big mistakes, don’t panic. There are solutions available to you and you’re going to find them all right here!

Learning how to make him commit to a relationship with grace

As I began saying in the introduction to this article, a lot of people tend to rush things and inadvertently pressure the person they’re dating to commit to a relationship. Whether it’s calling each other “boyfriend and girlfriend,” moving in together, getting married, having children…

Commitment looks different to everyone but the fact of the matter is that commitment cannot be forced. In fact, the more you push it and try to get a guy to commit, the more likely he will be to pull away.

Let me tell you about my client Christine a bit. When she first reached out to me for help, I remember her saying, “I started seeing this guy that I really liked, but because he was cheated on in the past, he doesn’t want to commit to a relationship.”

Now, the first thing to understand here is that Christine didn’t realize that she was making excuses for him, and that’s the main error. The fact of the matter is that even if this guy was cheated on and deeply hurt in the past if he was inspired enough, he would set that aside and begin to explore building a relationship with her. In order for the relationship to work, he would need to be working on making Christine fall for him. So we needed to target actions that would make him open his eyes and realize what he stood to lose.

The result was that she stopped making excuses for him and started to focus more on her daily life, and began to share more of that with him. I will expand on this in a moment, but one of the keys to making a man want to commit is to inspire him with the life you’re living. You want to show him how interesting you are, how unique you are, and how exciting your life is. You want to inspire him so much so that he would be a fool to not want to commit to being your partner.

By doing this, she got him to start doing things to try and get closer to her. He started proposing more interesting dates, spending more time together, and little by little, he began to commit to the relationship. The best part of all of this was that he became super excited about it and his fear of commitment disappeared.

So with the tips, we’re about to go over, I want you to keep in mind that the goal is to always make him see you and the relationship in a way that makes him think, “What can I do to make this incredible woman want to be with me? How can I make her fall for me?”

When this happens, he will no longer be afraid of anything. On the contrary, he will challenge himself to woo you and win you over!

I bet you want to know how exactly we can make this happen, right?

How to get him to commit: The solution

Perhaps you’re wondering why this guy is finding it so hard to commit to being in a relationship with you? When you first met he was all over you, he was super involved, he might have even said that he’s never felt this way about someone… and now suddenly he doesn’t want to commit. He doesn’t know what he wants. Why?

There are two primary reasons behind why he doesn’t want to commit and once you understand them, it becomes much easier to target them and change the dynamic.

He doesn’t want to commit because it’s going too fast

In my experience, the main reason a man won’t commit to a relationship with someone is that he feels that things are moving too fast – maybe even that things are being rushed. As men, we place a very high value on our independence and the moment it feels threatened, we retreat.

In addition to this, people are affected by their past and oftentimes these fears outweigh the inspiration they feel in regards to a budding relationship. Maybe this guy experienced a painful heartbreak, maybe he was cheated on, maybe someone very close to him was hurt and now he’s gun shy.

That means that our mission today is to slow things down. What does that mean? Well, think about it this way: Men don’t want to be in relationships, they want to enjoy every single moment. They want to feel excited and inspired by the person they’re spending their time with. The term “relationship” can freak men out (namely when it’s early on). To combat this, challenge yourself to come up with unique dates with him. Do new things, have new activities, go to new places, do something you’ve never done before with him! Don’t just hang out on the couch and watch Netflix because this makes it dangerously easy for a routine to settle in, and I can tell you right now that men do not respond positively to The Routine.

Think about how you can make the moments you spend so special that he’ll want more and more of them until a relationship naturally develops!

How to get the man you want when he’s taking you for granted

The other most common reason behind why a man doesn’t want to commit is that it’s too easy for him to take you for granted. This is the last thing we want!

If you’re thinking, “I want him but he doesn’t want to commit,” its usually because he is fully aware of what you want. Maybe you’ve already asked him to commit, you tell him you want him to take you out more, and basically, because you’re asking so much, he doesn’t want to give in.

It’s all about the independence thing again. If you’re begging and pleading (even if you’re trying to be subtle about it), he will feel no challenge, there will be no chase, and he will not feel inspired to try to win you over. In simple terms, if you hand him everything on a silver platter and ask him to commit to you, the hunter in him will be turned off. Men have a natural need to want to pursue and this is why they’re so attracted to a challenge.

When you want to know how to make him commit, remember that the solution is to present yourself as a prize to earn instead of someone who’s longing for his attention and commitment. If not, it will be easy for him to get lazy and to think, “Oh, it doesn’t matter how much I neglect her or act selfishly, she’ll stick around.”

I encourage you to start putting some distance between you. If you want to make him commit, give him the opportunity to miss you. We don’t want to give him the opportunity to take you for granted. While you put some distance between you, it’s crucial that you focus on your personal life. Actively work on becoming the absolute best version of yourself.

You might think I’m being a little bit old school, but the point is that we want him to look at you and think, “WOW!”

We want him to feel so inspired by the person you are and the life you lead that he gets excited about the prospect of maybe being able to attract you and become your partner.

The goal is to be happy because the happier you are in your personal life, the more inspiring he will find you to be. This is such a common theme in my coaching sessions. So many of my clients struggle with getting the man they want because they have a tendency to give too much so starting today, I want you to tell yourself, “A man should fight for ME! Not the other way around.” This will give you the power to create a better balance and draw him closer.

You don’t need to play a role or try to be someone you’re not. Just focus on putting some distance between you and using this time to become the absolute best version of yourself. When he picks up on this, he will feel compelled to give you his time and energy to draw you back in.

How to make him want you more when he has commitment issues

I know that the balance of power is tricky, especially when you want to get a guy to commit, but I want you to know that I am here to help you every step of the way. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me for one on one help by clicking here and I can help you create a custom action plan that will make this man putty in your hands!

By adopting the right approach, you’ll be unstoppable.

So remember ladies, it’s all about not rushing things, not making him feel like his independence is being threatened, putting some distance between you, and focusing on becoming the best version of yourself. So fill up your schedule with people and activities, hobbies, projects, personal and professional goals, and new challenges that bring you joy and you will see that you’ll attract this man like a moth to a flame.

Though it’s frustrating, I want you to remember that you can choose to be happy. Either you fixate on the fact that his behavior is not ideal, or you can switch your focus to yourself and making positive changes that will have a very positive effect on the situation. You will no longer have a one-sided relationship and you are now setting yourself up for long term happiness in love!

I wish you all the very best,

Your coach when you want to know how to make him commit to a relationship

Alex Cormont


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    Good evening sir Alex,I am Rita from Cameroon. I have been watching your videos on YouTube and they have helped me a lot on becoming a better version of myself.
    I have a worry; I had a fight with my boyfriend and Instead of solving the problem, he blacklisted my contact instantly in his phone. He ceased communicating with me. A month later I received a call from him telling me how he misses me and will want me back but I am afraid something like this might repeat itself again and I don’t want him disrespecting me again. I had learnt to be happy without him but he coming back, will be like bringing back a dark past. Should I give him the chance sir?

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    Alex… Excellent . Well said. Definitely I will follow your advices and make me distance from him and make me in a different version with beautiful things. Much love and lights. From India. Thankyou.

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    Hi Alex! I love your advice and appreciate all that you do in the name of relationship and love. My question is what to do when a man sends mixed messages where he is amorous, and sexy in his text but not so much in person. Am I being played because his words don’t match his actions. I still feel like a million bucks when I’m with him, but then he disappears…no commitment leaving me feel dumb. Just a simple country girl and in love. How to show my heart when I am afraid alot because of lack of commiment. I promise you I am neither stupid or ugly only traditional and the marrying kind. Please advise.

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    Thank you

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      Me and my boyfriend are lived like husband and wife but he doesn’t want to commit to me.how to make him to commit to me and lead to marriage

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    Thank u for this article
    Very helpfull
    Regards Karen Sommerville
    Ps: Hope we can see you in Cape Town someday!

  6. Avatar

    This is so pleasing am going to try it

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      We just started dating like 3 weeks now, no sex yet . But he is pulling away. I don’t really understand why. I need ur help on what to do

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    Hi, I love reading your emails, I’m in a long distance relationship, his from Melbourne n I’m from Papua New Guinea.
    How can make this friend solid.
    I like him so much.. we decided to start a good friend n see where it takes us too..

  8. Avatar

    Hi Alex, here my e-mail here in Copenhagen Denmark!


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    I have a boyfriend and we’ve been together for a couple of months now. He always compares me to his ex girlfriend and now currently things aren’t so good between us. We love each other yes but it’s Better off if we limit our time together. We hardly call each other and if we do we only talk for a few seconds and that’s it.

    It is everyday that we try working on our relationship but it doesn’t take long before he spots traces of his ex girlfriend in me then we go back to square one.

  10. Avatar

    My lover don’t want to commit because of his bad experience in past and he belongs to higher caste.how I will make him to commit


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About Alex

"What if the true definition of love was not what you thought it was?"
It’s time to make your own.

Alex Cormont

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