Why He Won’t Commit And What You Can Do To Make Him Want To Invest!
Why he won’t commit and what you can do to make him want to invest! The relationship expert reveals everything you need to know
Have you met someone that you like and want to make him fall head over heels for you? Are you currently in a relationship and would like to know why he won’t commit and what you could do to change his behavior? What is the best attitude to adopt when you want to get in control of the situation and of your emotions?
Ladies, I am here to let you know that there are precise solutions for seducing a man and it’s up to you to start using these tools and techniques as soon as possible. More often than not, you do recognize the situation you’re in and you know what kinds of actions you should be carrying out, but the little voice inside your head is saying, “You love him so you’re going to give in… Just let it happen!”
And yet, the worst mistake you could make would be to not remain in control of your emotions when you’re faced with a man that isn’t sure about committing to a relationship and a future with you. As a general rule, people in your situation tend to get frustrated or to think that there is maybe something wrong within themselves. The problem actually lies elsewhere, so if you want to change his mind you’ll have to approach the situation in a new way.
I’m sorry to say, well, write… That if you think that trying to make him listen to reason while you’re having a nice time together in hopes of getting what you want from him is going to work, you aren’t on the right track. Sentimental relationships don’t work like that, especially if he’s got a fear of commitment…
I don’t really like to use this term, but there is a way to seduce a man using something called “power play.” If you are too lovey-dovey, too needy, or if you allow yourself to be taken for granted, you will hand all the power over to the man that you want to fall for you. The opposite of these types of actions is what is going to get the desired result!
So what solutions are there for fighting against this phenomenon? What do you do when you’re dealing with a guy that is on the fence about committing? What sacrifices must be made? Read this article carefully and don’t hesitate to leave me a comment, and I would be happy to personally respond to you!
Why a man won’t commit
There are so many possible reasons at to why he won’t commit, but the two most common ones I hear in my coaching sessions are: “I’ve suffered too much in the past and I’m not ready to invest in a relationship,” which basically means that he’s allowing his past experiences to keep him from making a good decision today. The second one is, “I don’t know what I want,” and yet he can still be jealous when you’re hanging out with a guy friend, but doesn’t give you the option to be in a real relationship.
I know, it doesn’t seem like it makes any sense when you’re in the thick of it, but in reality, they’re actually is an explanation behind all of this.
Instead of putting things into perspective you have a tendency to pay too much attention to what this man says and not enough attention to his actions. If you ask ten people, they will all say that you’ve got a manipulator on your hands. We don’t need to go into the analysis of pathological narcissism, but you are dealing with someone whose words don’t match up with their actions.
So what do you do under these circumstances?
First off, you should ignore the things he says simply because a man will never deliver a user’s manual when it comes to winning over his heart! Reality is quite the opposite, and yet you continue to do the same things, which is why there is such a gap in understanding between men and women! In fact, the man in question (even if this is happening subconsciously) will do everything to make you fall in love with him without truly investing in the relationship himself.
So when you’re wondering why he won’t commit, I simply recommend that you stop putting him on a pedestal. Stop showing him too much interest. The more you use the “Chase me and I’ll run” technique the more he’ll closer he will become.
Why he won’t commit until he fears to lose you
I know that what I just explained is hard to understand, but in order to seduce a man who is afraid to commit, you have to step into the role of a femme fatale. A man simply can’t fall in love with a woman that’s already intensely in love with him right at the earliest stages of the relationship.
Truth be told, only has eyes for him is pretty much like digging your own grave. It’s true that with time, men appreciate being the center of your universe, but when you’re still in the “power play” phase of seduction, this type of behavior is premature.
You don’t have a rational man that wants to invest in the relationship and experience something magical, so you have to be careful that you don’t place yourself on a lower plane than him. If you don’t you risk losing all of the control during the seduction phase. This remains true for relationships that have been active for months as I am referring to seduction in the general sense.
I am sharing these explanations with you so that you may fully understand that the answer to “will he ever commit” is this: He will commit at soon as he starts to fear to lose you. Unfortunately, this doesn’t place you in the “normal” process of seduction and you will have to continually work to keep your feelings under control until he adopts a positive and respectful attitude. In truth, everything is a question of knowing how to adapt your state of mind.
He won’t commit: is it even possible to seduce him?
If you follow my advice, you’ll be perfectly capable of seducing men who won’t commit and making them want to invest. Unfortunately, if like the majority of women you think that you need to prove how much you love him, you end up feeling insecure and you won’t be able to get in control of the situation. Don’t latch on to a guy that hasn’t shown that he’s worthy of you, because then he won’t make the necessary changes. Don’t wait until it’s too late before you take action and make the right choices.
One last thing: Keep in mind that fear of commitment is only present if the man in question doesn’t think that he’s in love or that he’s happy being with you. If he didn’t think that he could find something better elsewhere, he wouldn’t hesitate a second.
The explanation that I see the most often is this: The more disinterested he appears to be, the more you want to reassure him. And yet, you should be doing the exact opposite. You’re not going to make him jump over the mental walls of his indecision by showing him that you’re head over heels in love with him…
Boyfriend won’t commit: Here is your #1 goal!
We all want to find happiness, especially through a fulfilling relationship, but sometimes the communication between men and women makes this more challenging than it should be. As a result, if you fixate on the words of this man who doesn’t necessarily share the same vision as you, you risk making a false interpretation of his desires, especially because he will sometimes be inconsistent.
In truth, men can hesitate for a long time! This can be seen in their behavior, but it can also be seen in their words. When a man won’t commit, and as a general rule, you have to pay attention to his attitude but also to the words he uses.
You, therefore, need to stay focus on the most important thing: the happiness and wellbeing that you can give him. Doing so will ensure that you focus on the present moment, and this, in turn, will encourage him to invest in the relationship a little more each day. This step by step approach is essential in order to keep him from getting scared off, thinking “Things are moving too fast!”
To ensure that you don’t reach this point, it’s crucial to not base your entire happiness off of your relationship. You’ve got to maintain a balanced life in which you find joy, with or without a partner. Letting a relationship or another person define you are going to damage the relationship!
Communication in love happens through actions, and you can gauge his interest on what the little things he does every day. Many women expect their partners to act as they would, and things move too quickly (especially if they had been single for a while and don’t want to waste time). Once again, don’t rush. You have to take things to step by step if you want to reach this level of happiness and satisfaction in your relationship. Things aren’t perfect right off the bat, so the goal is to progressively move forward while factoring in what your partner needs, and maintaining your own personal life (friends, work, hobbies…)
By the way, if he won’t commit and you want him to change his mind, make sure that your personal life is not empty, and that you have other things going on. This is the difference between an interesting woman and a woman that is too eager to please.
He loves me but won’t commit: The tip for not placing too much pressure on him
In love, there is often little hesitation, especially when you know what you feel and you’re ready to take the leap. You know that relationships are never simple, but with some work, you can easily find happiness. When you feel something for someone, you think it’s enough for you to fully invest. You feel that you’ve found someone interesting and you’d like to build a solid relationship.
However, this is where you will make the fatal mistake of reacting based on your own ease and confidence in the future. As I explained above, there are some areas in which men are resistant! They tend to be doubtful and you’re not going to reach your goal by provoking him. A man won’t enter into a relationship until he feels the desire, and it has to come from within himself.
So now I’d like you to start acting in a different way. If you’re thinking, “He won’t commit, what do I do…” I recommend that you take your time, and continue working on a seduction phase that will last a few weeks. You can continue to get to know each other before you officially become a relationship!
Even when he doesn’t want to commit, time is not the enemy. I know that some of my coachees tell me, “If he doesn’t say he loves me in two months, then I’m leaving!” Even though I understand why you would feel that way, you have to analyze them and understand that these thoughts have led you to your current situation. This is a negative type of thought process. Giving your partner an ultimatum in the hopes of getting more from him is not a very good idea. I’m not saying that it never ever works, but it is a very dangerous game.
It’s important to accept that a man might have trouble diving into a relationship because he doesn’t want to go too fast. But this doesn’t mean that he’s not into you or that he wants to waste your time. He just might have a little mental block and the most effective thing to do is to pinpoint its root and clear it away as soon as possible. If you’ve gone over it multiple times and you still can’t seem to get ahead, don’t hesitate to reach out and we can get to the bottom of it together in a coaching session. To know more about how to set up an appointment, it’s right this way.
Show yourself in the best light if he won’t commit but won’t let go
I am in no way, shape, or form, asking you to be perfect because that doesn’t exist! But if you’re seeing signs that he won’t commit and you want to win him over, you’ve to put your best foot forward. By remaining positive and communicating effectively in the way we’ve just studied, the man of your dreams will undoubtedly make his move and become more implicated in the relationship.
Whether it’s through your smile, physical attraction, or an interesting personality, you just have to show him that you understand him and don’t want to place pressure on him. By introducing positivity and sharing special moments together you will encourage him little by little. Just be careful that you’re not expecting something out of Hollywood movie because real life is much different!
You can continually seduce him with a magnetic and natural personality that you will reveal little by little.
There is no reason to play a role or to show him a personality that’s not your own. Don’t try to stick to an “ideal” that you think he wants because you’ll be faced with continual criticism that doesn’t even pertain to you! If you want a man to commit to you, be yourself under any circumstance.
“I like women who are sensitive… but also funny… But also kinda challenging…” Basically, forget what he’s saying here because he doesn’t really even know what he wants. So instead of constantly asking yourself whether or not the image you’re portraying to him is the right one, focus on fighting off the fear of what’s at stake. You can’t be expected to be perfect and I’ve also realized that seduction requires that your own personality shines through and presents an exciting challenge.
Have an amazing day, and I sincerely wish you the best in your love life that this man that up until now seemed unable to commit to a relationship, realizes what you bring to the table. Never forget that you are the prize and from now on, he should do everything in his power to win you over and work for the chance to offer you a serious relationship, without any emotional dependence.
Your love coach for learning how to seduce a man who won’t commit
hello thank you so much Alex
the problem is i couldnt understand my boyfriend who lives together almost one year half. He is french i am Mongolian which is asian countries between china and russia we so falling love beginning and once i moved in the Paris to live with him it will be more difficult he doesnt want listen to me all the time his right i am wrong, i try to be talk with him still he ignores me now i cry fight with him a lot now for him i am nothing i feel it.
i love hima lot he loves me too, i thought maybe make little distance of him but we live together at this time what should i do
Thank you so much. Your blog ,videos are really of great help to me. I am glad u send me mail and connected. It means a lot.
I was happy to read your article. It came right on time. My ex fiance is like this. I left him 3 years ago. Lately he offered for us to meet. Every thing was great, however he said he does not want commitment.
After reading your article I decided to take a step back. Let him do all the chasing 🙂
I believe that the more a man invests in you ( not talking about money) the more he appreciates you and wants you.
Thank you Alex!
Thank you alex i am learning now..
Hey Alex. I love your French accent. We broke up after a short term relationship because he was ghosting for days and coming back saying that he needed time. We had lots of arguments. I pressed him a bit to meet me for a face to face break up but after our break up(=a cool conversation, no fights) I didn’t do anything to change his mind.(begging or calling texting crying etc). So, He told me to stay friends and now he is cold with me. Do I need to stay friendly (I send a couple of texts a week/friendly texts about his studies for example ) or to ignore him? The last time he didn’t respond to me.
I’m too beautiful to wait for him forever but I would give a second chance in this case.
You are the best,Alex!
I wish I had found these articles sooner Alex! I would like to know your thoughts on when it’s OK to text a guy first – Even if you have known him for a long time – any thoughts/guidelines for texting?
Thanks so much for this article!! I’ve been seeing my friend for 5 years with no committment. I’m at the point where I’m quite frustrated with the situation. I’m trying to pull away but am finding it difficult to do. I’m trying to work out a plan as we speak!! This article really helps so thank you again!!
Hey Alex, thank you so much, i wish i knew all this earlier… Thanks alot.
Thank you Alex for your articles. What to do to make him to chase me and finally commit me.Because I always do the first step.
I would like a coaching session please
Give me details on coaching session please
This has been very helpful for me .C’est très gentil Alex .
Very enlightening Alex. Merci
Hello Alex. I have carefully read your article. To take too much in the head just for the sake of a man ?? No thanks, definitely too little for me, I give up. Because many other things, essential too, make me happy, and that impacts my environment and well beyond.
Glad to hear that you took over basketball, it’s just great. I would have defied you for a game but …
I wish you the best, always.
Thank you for this article, Alex. As with your other articles, I have certainly taken the advantage of following your advices and they have worked more on making me realize that I should not forget to constantly have a healthy and happy lifestyle that makes ME happy. I know I have always been insecure and I think that’s the biggest factor with me when it comes to having failed relationships. I am in a quite confusing relationship now as we haven’t had “the talk” and have known each other for a year now. We do act as if we are a couple but the thing about it is that we are long-distance. I get that he is more of an “actions” kind of guy and it really shows on how he makes me feel, but I do think there is still uncertainty on commitment just because we both live very far from each other. So as I do agree with your thoughts on this article, I feel it might play out differently with my situation right now. But you have always been really helpful, so thank you!
Hello dear sir
Hope I’m not disturbing you .Sir lots of thanks for this article “Man and commitment” . it’s really good one as always .This topic is most complex ,talked than to say .There is a constant battle going on in his head n heart ,where head wins .99percent of man feel to stay away from the commitment as they feel things get screwed in commitment.
On the other hand girls /ladies tend to carried by emotions n love giving their man chances to improve even when they have an inkling that things are not going right.As man’s sugar coated sweet toffee words can’t be relied on right emotions, approach n pers pective is needed by being normal with them till their true intentions come to limelight ,else it leads to dependency or power to them.
Though man don’t like to commit easily but fear of loss is one of the most motivating factor into commitment .,as they don’t realize what they have lost until they can’t see it again . knowing the value n worth of person with time give them the wake up call when they have to live their lives without them in it . They access the loss even they try to act normal hiding their emotions.They finally have to accept that she is “the moon of their happiness.”
Continue efforts from time to time is required to keep the man hooked to their commitment.Sir I hope you like the matter , but please do let me know if n where I’m wrong and what you would like to suggest me . looking forward to your reply and message sir along with working together in the near future . thanks once again for everything .Sir keep up your glorious path to success n happiness with smiles all the way . wishing you the bestest always sir . lots of love n regards .
Respected Sir .I know you are busy but sir I’m constantly sending you the mail at ur Gmail without any reply from your side . This is the 3rd one . Along to that sir I also purchased coaching sessions n mailed you to schedule the timing . but without any reply from your side .Sir please let me know in regard to the same . waiting for your reply n message sir . lots of regards . Take good care n always stay blessed and happy .lots of regards .
Hello alex i am from india my name is sana and i am really feeling to die i dont know what to do everytime i get hurt there is lot of family and society pressure for marrige and a man whom i love he is saying i dont want to do marrige right now i feel lonely and
So my man in question seems to be addicted to a pattern of pushing me away, scratch him self back in like a hungry cat, great passion and love declarations and then stab me in the back again with a different excuse each time, to start over the whole cycle. It is like living in a soap opera. I got addicted my self to the passion part and easily admit that. And the excuses are verified, real and genuine: big ones like his divorce and legal issues, his father passed away, his little boy etc. And now after over 3 years of all that he is so sick of things that anyone can understand he is deadly afraid of taking on the responsibilities of a relationship, being a good partner, son in law, brother in law and all that. I saw that coming… yet here I am…. I believe he deeply loves me and all that you are saying Alex and tried to disappear fro his life but he won’t let that happen. It seems I’m his rock or battery charger, he won’t rest until he got even and only as little as a hug. After 4 years took my stand and he asked me: “do I really have to let you go if I don’t want all the responsibilities of a relationship?” He said it in that precise order of words and i told him Yes. So mr. Alex, what is he saying here other then the obvious? For now he is extremely busy trying to stretch and stretch yet again without finishing the conversation. I don’t doubt for a second he will drop by again within a week.
Hello Alex thank you am learning a lot now i am going pull back and let him chase me thanks