Why married men flirt and what it means for their relationships!
I was chatting with a friend of mine about her relationship with her husband. They’ve been married for a few years now, and she was telling me that she had seen one of his email exchanges between him and his colleague. She recognized that they were flirting with one another, and it most definitely rubbed her the wrong way. But then again, Harold’s always been a good, faithful husband, and has always had a magnetic and charming personality.
But this was clearly flirting, so what did it mean? When I got home that day, I decided to prepare an article for any of you that may have found yourselves wondering, “Why do married men flirt and what does it mean for our relationship?”
I want to explore the root of any insecurity you might be feeling, the difference between “harmless” and ill-intentioned flirtation, whether or not flirting counts as cheating, and what you can do to really seduce your husband again!
Married man flirting: It is his personality or is your relationship threatened?
When my friend was telling me about the situation she had found herself in, my first question to her was this:
“Anne, has Harold always had a flirtatious personality, or did this come completely out of left field?”
It goes without saying that if your husband has never really been one to flirt with other women and suddenly he’s being uncharacteristically charming around another woman, suspicion would be a logical reaction. You might be wondering what he wants from her and why he’s acting like that with her and not with you. You might even be thinking, “Is he cheating on me?” Before you assume the worst, let’s take a look at all aspects of the situation.
First of all, let me say this: if you’ve known that he’s always been a flirt but he’s never been unfaithful to you, there probably isn’t a reason to panic! Many guys like flirting because it’s fun, but it doesn’t mean that they want anything from the other person.
Married and flirting: Why does it bother you so much?
If your husband is flirting with another woman, or perhaps with other women in general, it’s perfectly natural that you would have a negative reaction. You don’t understand why he feels the need to do that, and what’s more, you might even feel like your relationship with him is being threatened.
This is especially true if you are not someone who generally flirts with other people!
There are many reasons why this can make a person feel very uneasy, and sometimes they aren’t directly related to your spouse.
If you are feeling insecure about your relationship, married men flirting can definitely put you on edge. Perhaps you’ve been fighting, or you don’t feel like you’re connecting the way you used to, and now you see that your husband is interacting with other women the way that you wish he would interact with you.
Of course you don’t like it, but don’t worry. At the end of this article, I am going to show you how to reverse the trend!
Another reason that makes people feel very uneasy about married men who flirt is a negative past experience in love that involved infidelity. If you had been with someone who was unfaithful to you, it, of course, is going to leave a mark on you. On a subconscious level, you may even expect your current partner to do the same thing, but it’s important to learn to avoid projecting past experiences on a current partner.
Another, less common reason that I’ve come across is that the woman who is feeling suspicious about her husband’s flirting is actually in a situation where she has feelings for another man with whom she flirts. So she is subconsciously afraid that he’s developing feelings for someone else because that’s what is happening to her.
So why do married men flirt and what does it actually mean for your relationship?
What does it mean when a married man flirts?
Like I said above, the answer to this question is going to depend on your husband’s personality. If he grew up in a family where he saw his dad flirting and it was considered to be completely normal and nonthreatening to his parents’ relationship, he may just be reproducing behavior that seems familiar to him without there being any ill-intent.
Similarly, if he just has a flirtatious personality and has always been that way, he’s just being himself and your relationship is fine as long as he can be respectful of your feelings.
I was talking with a friend of mine, who definitely likes to flirt with women. He’s been married, happily at that, for a number of years now, and when he talks about his wife you see his eyes light up. No one compares to her and he couldn’t be happier. And yet, whenever we are out, I see him chatting with women left and right.
One day we were talking about it, and I asked him if his wife knows. He looked at me quizzically and replied, “Of course she does… And she knows that she doesn’t have anything to worry about. I just like to chat and flirt with people, but that doesn’t mean that I want to cheat on my wife!”
He proceeded to tell me that that’s just how he is, and she knows that it’s his personality. He’s always been like that, and all the guys in his family are like that, and it doesn’t mean that their wives have anything to worry about. In fact, his brother does it right in front of his wife and she laughs and joins in the conversation telling the girl, “Careful, he’s a charmer!”
Now, everyone flirts with varying degrees and not everyone is going to be so open to such openly flirtatious behavior coming from their significant other.
Sometimes it goes a bit deeper than that, and a married man who flirts does so because he needs the ego boost. People sometimes flirt with others because they want to feel attractive, charming, and desired, and it isn’t always about the other person involved. What I mean by that if your husband is flirting with another woman, it might not be because he likes her but more because he likes the way it makes him feel. Some men need to have their egos stroked and be reassured that they’re still attractive.
Now, if your husband isn’t usually someone who flirts with other women and you see that he suddenly does so, it might be because of your relationship. Do you feel that your relationship is satisfying or would he have reason to believe that the grass is greener on the other side? Is it possible that he’s not getting enough attention and/or affection from you?
I know this isn’t pleasant to think about, but it’s important to analyze the situation if something doesn’t feel right to you. Just don’t worry – if there is a problem, there is a solution!
So sometimes, flirtatious behavior from a married man is completely harmless, and other times it’s indicative of a deeper-rooted problem. You know your husband better than anyone, so you’ve got to analyze the situation and determine the situation.
If you and your partner continue to be flirtatious with one another, and neither of you flirts with other people enough to make the other upset, there is no need for worry.
It is human nature to want to feel desired, attractive, and to feel that we have a magnetic effect on those around us. It makes us feel more in control and confident. It’s true that sometimes people take it too far, and people need to make sure that boundaries are clearly defined in relationships.
If you want to have a serene relationship with your flirtatious husband, you both need to talk about what is appropriate and what is not. It’s crucial that both of you remain on the same page about it. I cannot stress the importance of this!
Why married men flirt: Does flirting count as cheating?
Speaking of this conversation, the definition of inappropriate flirtation is going to vary from person to person, and that is why it’s so important to have a clear discussion about it with your husband. He might not even realize that something he’s doing might be really bothering you.
For some people, and especially those that tend to be jealous and insecure, might say to their husbands, “I don’t want you to even look at another woman.” Feelings of excess insecurity or jealousy must be dealt with so that the relationship can flourish, and if you feel like you could use a helping hand, don’t hesitate to reach out to me here!
Go ahead and leave a comment below on what you feel counts as flirting with another person!
Prolonged conversation? Making someone laugh? Playful teasing? Sexual innuendo?
It’s important for your partner to know what you consider to be flirting so that he can make decisions accordingly. If he doesn’t know that something is making you upset or uncomfortable, chances are that he will continue to do it.
Married flirting: How to re seduce your husband!
If you want your husband to flirt with you most or to flirt only with you, you’re going to have to re-seduce him! This is easier and more fun than you might think.
But first things first. It’s crucial that you two have a serious conversation and set boundaries. Both of you need to feel secure and confident in the relationship, and defining what inappropriate flirtation looks like for each of you will help to ensure that the other person doesn’t do something that makes the other person upset. If your husband knows what would bother you, it will help him to make informed decisions.
Now, how do you get him to flirt with you the way he used to?
I see a lot of people who have been in relationships for a very long time think that the “romantic” stage of their relationship has already passed. Sure, relationships evolve, and that butterfly feeling is going to change into something calmer, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t reintroduce some excitement!
Chances are, you’ve probably fallen out of the habit of flirting with one another. Some playful teasing and flirtation can increase the sexual tension in your relationship, and you two can begin to seduce one another yet again.
If you want to know more about how to seduce a man, I encourage you to read this right away!
Seduction goes hand in hand with sexual tension. Be an exciting challenge for him. When people are together for a long time, things often become a bit monotonous and they stop trying to woo each other because they know the other person is just always going to be around anyway.
Make sure that you have a date night at least once a month, and be playful with him. Don’t hesitate to send him steamy texts while he’s at work or surprise him with a romantic night.
The more exciting you make your own relationship, the less likely he will be to want attention from other women.
If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to leave your comment below, and if I can personally guide you through anything don’t hesitate to reach out! I am just a message away 😉
Wishing you all the very best,
Your coach for understanding why married men flirt,