Is leaving your husband for another man a good idea – French Relationship Expert
Both good and bad, love is full of surprises and each decision must be well thought out. If you’re in a relationship with your spouse and you’re realizing that your feelings for him are not as strong as they used to be, and on top of that someone else has come into your life, it’s normal that you would be asking yourself lots of questions.
Why do you feel what you’re feeling for the other person? How come you feel so good when you’re with him? Do you feel like you’re inches away from possibly cheating on your husband? Whether it’s a colleague, a friend, a neighbor, or an ex, for a little while now you’ve been harboring a desire for (or perhaps you already have) a secret relationship. This new person is conjuring up feelings that you haven’t felt in ages… Under these circumstances, it’s normal that you begin to contemplate leaving your husband for another man…
In any case, it’s going to be important to avoid going too fast and ending up thinking, “I regret leaving my husband.” After breaking up, it’s hard to turn back the clock and put the pieces back together, and nostalgia and/or regret might take over. This is often what happens in these types of situations, so I wanted to write this article today to help you make the decision that is best for you! Leaving your husband for another man is not a decision to take lightly… There are serious questions you must ask yourself to weigh the pros and the cons. I wanted to help point you in the right direction because I know this isn’t something that is easy to talk about with your friends.
How do you know if leaving one man for another is a good idea? How will you avoid making the biggest mistakes when the time to make the decision comes? Is it right to choose between your husband and your lover and what does your choice mean? You really have to properly think things through because your head might be telling you one thing while your heart is telling you another! It’s time to move forward and not let your emotions take over. Let’s take a look at how to make the best choice without hurting both men in your life.
I cheated on my husband and fell in love: How does this happen?
Sometimes things don’t go as planned in relationships and marriages. This is when you encounter crises, tensions, or emotions that disappear over time. There are so many different reasons why a person might be thinking “I want to leave my husband for another man, but contrary to what you might think, I have seen that most women that find themselves in this situation (including those that I coach and help navigate this situation), don’t have “love at first sight” to blame.
We’ve all already seen films where a woman ready to marry the man of her dreams suddenly leaves him for someone she just met. That doesn’t mean that that’s how it goes in “real life…” Or at least that’s not what I’ve seen throughout the hundreds of coaching sessions I’ve carried out in the last few months alone! Very often the arrival of this man and the development of feelings correspond to a deeper-rooted problem that the woman’s original relationship has been having. For example, a husband that’s never around, the love turning into something more platonic, the lack of passion, or disagreements about goals for the future.
So meeting someone new that makes you want to leave it all behind and be with him appears to be the solution, and you get wrapped up in these new emotions. After a while, you start seeing yourself leaving your husband for your lover. It is perfectly understandable. Human beings are drawn to happiness so your reaction is perfectly natural… But that doesn’t make the choice simple, especially because the consequences can cause serious collateral damage. It will affect your kids, your families, and of course, your husband, who would be devastated by this.
The spouse that you are officially with no longer corresponds to what you need, he no longer gives you what you want, he doesn’t pick up on your hints, and you are seeing all the signs of an imminent breakup. But if you are having doubts about leaving your marriage, you must keep in mind that leaving your spouse for someone new is not an easy fix. It means that you’re experiencing a problem in your relationship and you aren’t sure of how to fix it. This is exactly what Isabella was saying to me when I was coaching her after she had an affair and fell in love, and decided to leave her husband of twelve years… after three years of crises.
In truth, on top of feeling in love with this new person, you may be looking for a way to escape a mundane life that has changed and has stopped making you happy. Some women decide to go on trips around the world or begin a new professional project that they feel passionate about in order to combat this, but you have met a man that has changed everything, and you want to experience passionate love again.
Leaving husband for another man: It’s complicated
Leaving your marriage for another man or breaking up with your boyfriend because you’ve fallen for someone else are very difficult situations, and there isn’t a generic answer that works for all cases. In fact, there are as many explanations as there are different contexts. In some cases, you even have to encourage this type of initiative…
Let me explain.
When a woman with an abusive spouse meets a lover, and this new man brings her real love, joy and respect, you can’t judge her and say that she’s wrong to have feelings for someone else and want to leave her marriage. If she’s saying, “I want to leave my husband for another man,” especially if her husband has been cheating on her or disrespecting her for ages, it’s for the best that she does so!
However, when a person is ready to leave her husband for someone else after he’s neglected her for a month or two, I would say that it would be preferable to think it over a bit more before making any big decisions.
It’s true that there is no sense in staying in a marriage with your spouse just so that you can keep fighting with each other or ensure that you don’t feel alone…Especially if you are, and have been, genuinely unhappy about the prospect of a future together. Your relationship must be sincere and you have to want to share with one another.
Otherwise, you won’t be happy and you’re going to constantly feel bitterness and frustration.
Deciding to end a marriage is one thing, but I should caution you that leaving a spouse for someone you barely know and jumping into a serious relationship with him is often one of the main causes of breakups later on down the line. It isn’t easy to solidify a relationship that started out as an affair, and the rushed manner in which things were handled often leads to these relationships’ demise.
Keep these 3 consequences in mind!
So should you leave your husband for another man? It isn’t easy to answer this question. The consequences are serious and you run the risk of being alone and extremely disappointed after a few weeks.
After years of living side by side, chances are that the consequences of a decision to leave your husband will also affect other people. For example, your children, your families, your friend in common… Leaving him for another man is not just a simple separation because the risk of tension and bitterness is higher than usual. Just like a spouse who would leave his wife for another woman would play the role of the “bad guy,” you’re going to have to be prepared for criticism and sometimes even cold shoulders.
It’s important to avoid hurting people that aren’t responsible for the situation, and who are going to be affected by it. I am especially referring to children. Your decision must not endanger the balance of their daily lives. So you can’t just throw your family away and act like someone who’s twenty years old and single for someone who you met two weeks ago… Which is exactly what I told a man a few days ago who was about to abandon his family and no longer concern himself with his children’s education…
A spouse who’s thinking “She’s leaving me for another man” is going to have a tough time giving you a second chance if you decide to return, so I want you to keep that in mind when you’re making your decision. Your choice must be well thought out and you have to lessen the blow as much as possible.
I cannot make this decision for you, but I do hope that I have helped you to weigh the pros and cons associated with this choice. If you would like more tailormade advice based on the details of your relationship, we can work together. As each situation is unique, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us for a one-on-one coaching session, and we can further assess your situation and help you to make the best decision and action plan!
I sincerely wish you all the best,
Your coach when you’re contemplating leaving your husband for another man,