How to Quickly Overcome Heartache – The French Relationship Expert
No one wants to experience heartache and yet the statistics state that it’s unavoidable. Throughout their love life, a woman will have on average six disappointments in love and a man will have between three and five. So, nobody can know what your love life will hold. Sometimes everything is just wonderful and both partners are filled with joy, but then a few days or months later, a serious fight with dramatic repercussions can happen. In the end, you wind up with heartache.
Many of the people I work with ended up with broken hearts without knowing it was coming. Experiencing a painful moment in your love life isn’t the end of the world, and it is possible to overcome your sadness. Today I’d like to expand on a subject that is important to me because it is something I am faced with on a regular basis in my line of work. There isn’t a week that goes by without someone asking me “Why does love hurt so much?” The important thing is to ask yourself if finding the answer to this question will make you feel better.
That said, in order to bounce back, there are many steps, and the very first one consists of understanding the issues. To do so, I propose that you discover some tips for understanding the best way to react when you want to effectively overcome heartache.
Heartache: What exactly is it?
For many people, heartache is experienced following a breakup. In truth, the actual definition of heartache isn’t quite so black and white. The sensation isn’t easy to describe because each person is going to react differently based on his or her sensitivity, past, attachment, and concept of love.
In reality, it is perfectly possible for you to be feeling heartache after a big fight with your partner, when you don’t feel appreciated by the person you love, and also when you suffer because of their behavior.
Some people can feel awful and can even fall into a love-related depression for something that isn’t that serious, and other people might not have a reaction that is appropriate to the severity of the situation. This doesn’t automatically mean that in the first case the person has more feelings; it just means that they are more sensitive.
Each situation is linked to trouble in paradise and this is why it’s important to conduct a systematic analysis. You can’t make a comparison between two partners and time is going to play a role as well. This means that you shouldn’t compare the heartache you felt at the very beginning of the relationship to the heartache that you feel three, four, or five years down the line.
Why do we experience heartache after pain related to love?
There are two principal reasons behind the feeling of heartache. The first one is that you had envisioned a future with the person you love, or you at least were thinking that you would go farther together.
1. The reason behind heartache is that you saw a future together
There is always a period of adaptation between the moment you have your first kiss and the moment you invest in a serious relationship together that is going to last as long as possible (or at least we hope to see it last as long as possible!)
This delay allows us to gauge our partner, to develop affinities that already exist or to create new ones, or to explore what we want and need. Simply put, it allows us to test the waters.
Once you have the answer to your question, you do everything in your power to make the relationship last and you become fully invested. It’s exactly at this moment that you become susceptible to suffering simply because you decide to invest in a serious relationship and do your best to make it succeed. There comes a time (and this is especially true for men) when you have to overcome your fear of commitment.
This is when you begin to envision a future together. When you separate from the person you love, it’s so dramatic because your hopes and dreams vanish into thin air. This is why love and heartache can be so terribly painful. When it falls apart you feel like you’re moving in reverse and the disappointment you feel is profound.
I know that it’s a bitter feeling, but I have to tell you that by making experiencing disappointment and by sometimes making serious mistakes, you gain experience, and this is going to serve you. Learning how to love is actually comparable to learning how to ride a bike. You have to take some pretty nasty falls before you are able to learn how to successfully ride.
Heartaches after a breakup can make the fear of remaining single increase
The fear of remaining single forever also gives rise to suffering in addition to your heartache. This is why I always insist on personal reconstruction and on the importance of overcoming this fear in my coaching sessions.
Once you get this idea out of your head, there is no reason why you wouldn’t be able to find another partner. Of course you’re going to have another relationship so you shouldn’t fear remaining single forever! If you have this fear, you can reserve a coaching session in order to rebuild your self-confidence and you’ll see that this worry will quickly dissipate.
All of the tips that you will learn are going to help you with dealing with heartache and help you to feel peace again. The more doubts you have in your mind, the more intense your heartache will be. It’s crucial that you have faith in your future and that you remain strong throughout this challenging period. I know that you’re going to bounce back, whether it’s with your ex as a result of the process of getting back together, or with someone new!
We can define heartache as emotional shock
All forms of emotional shock are caused by a form of disappointment. Of course there are varying degrees of intensity based on the expectations that were present in the relationship. It is because of this fact that heartache and heartbreak can have such a serious effect on the person that’s confronted with it. The reason is simple: when you decide to begin a serious relationship and to really invest, you don’t just go halfway. Love is an extremely powerful emotion and as a result, the emotional shock that accompanies the loss of the relationship is even more intense.
An emotional shock is a devastation that completely throws you off and can have both physical and mental repercussions. This is why a breakup hurts so badly. The psychological trauma can give rise to profound sadness and tears on a daily basis, but also severe depression, high blood pressure, tachycardia, psychosomatic disorders, nausea… and unfortunately the list goes on.
These issues combined with sadness create intense pain that feels like a knife right to the heart. In envisioning your future together, you were not prepared for this type of situation. You have to fight against this pain using the most effective methods.
Why is it important to fight against an aching heart?
It’s important to understand that love is a special domain that can have serious repercussions on your life in general. Heartache can have a negative effect on your professional life, your social life, your financial situation, and especially on your health.
You probably already know this and I’m not trying to get you to build walls up, but I’d still like to remind you.
Disappointment in love is one of the causes of your depression. After a divorce or a separation, many people have a hard time getting back on the horse and getting excited about life. Fighting off heartache is important so that you don’t fall into this trap, whatever your situation may be. To do so, you can set concrete actions into motion with the help of a coaching session, which is available in person or on the phone.
What should you do when you have a broken heart?
In terms of a person’s love life, knowing how to react and what to do is a delicate matter. Should I keep my distance? Should I call them so that they don’t forget about me? Should I call them by their pet name like we used to? There are so many questions that are going to go through your mind and you’re going to have to find the answer. With everything that’s going on and all the pain you’re feeling in your heart, it makes sense that you might have difficulty finding answers to questions that can seem quite simple in appearance.
In order to successfully overcome heartache, the first thing you need to do is to analyze the reasons and the consequences. Was it a heated fight or a real separation? It’s crucial to make the distinction because the actions you have to set into motion will not be the same.
If your heart is aching because of a fight…
If a fight is at the origin of your heartache, you’ve got to bury the hatchet right away. To do so, show your partner that the complicity between you is still intact. Show your partner that you’re on the same page and even if you disagree on something, it doesn’t mean that you can’t have a happy relationship together. Show him or her that you want to move forward and you’re not going to be stubborn. You’re a team and you’ve got to work together and be patient with one another.
Everyone needs to be able to accept that their partner might have a point if they’re criticizing them for something, and accept that love is stronger than conflict. Just be careful – don’t base everything on emotions because if you’re experiencing repetitive fights, you’re fueling a vicious cycle. It’s important to pinpoint the root and work together to fix it. Your partner could question their feelings for you if fights are constantly coming up over the same thing.
Your coach for healing your heartache