The real solution when you’re feeling neglected by your boyfriend – The French Relationship Expert
When you’re dating someone who seems to be busy all the time, it can result in you feeling neglected. Dating a busy man is not the easiest thing in the world, and it can lead to tensions in the relationship. I’ve seen this happen time and time again, so my goal in writing this article is to provide some tips that I think could save you a ton of grief!
When you’re feeling neglected by your boyfriend, there is a solution that you can start to incorporate into your daily life and you’ll see a sizable shift in the dynamic of your relationship. It’s not as complicated as it might seem, and it will help you to steer clear of some of the biggest mistakes that people tend to make in these types of situations.
Women naturally tend to want to develop a bond and nurture it, and men will tend to want to be a bit more independent. Finding the sweet spot that makes both partners happy can take some time, but it’s not impossible. So let’s take a look at the number one way to deal with dating someone who doesn’t have, or is not making enough time for you!
Feeling neglected in a relationship with the man you love
Our schedules are jam-packed with so many things these days, and it’s really hard when you are dating someone who doesn’t seem to be making the same amount of effort as you in terms of dedicating time in their schedule to this relationship.
Women tend to be nesters and nurturers and that’s what you want to do for this relationship! You want to put in the effort to build this relationship, to make your partner want to invest and commit more, and to work on developing something together. It is human nature but it can be exceedingly hard with how busy everyone is today.
On top of that, guys place a high value on their independence so you might be noticing that he always makes time for guy’s night, or that he’s always prioritizing his career and his goals. So it comes as no surprise that this could start to wear on you.
It can make you doubt the way he feels about you, doubt the direction that this relationship is taking, and it can even start to make you doubt yourself. But that is not what I want for you! The key is going to create a shift in the dynamic so that you don’t inadvertently do something that would make your partner want to pull away and be less likely to commit and invest in this relationship. I worked with a client recently who got the opposite of what she was trying to accomplish by unwittingly suffocating the guy she was seeing.
Dana called me for help a few months back. She said that she was feeling ignored by her partner and that no matter how hard she tried to get closer to him and spend time together, he would just keep pulling away. After a few sessions, we were able to zero in on the fact that she was essentially asking her partner to abandon his independence.
She wasn’t trying to find balance in the relationship, she was trying to make him abandon the things he cared about and pay attention to her instead. Men respond very negatively to this type of pressure, so I have to warn you against it.
Unfortunately, when a woman feels neglected in a relationship, she starts to run the risk of doing things that wind up making matters worse. She’ll seek more attention and more reassurance, but because this can come off as clingy behavior, the guy can end up pulling even further away.
So I asked Dana to do the exact opposite. If she could let him live and enjoy his interests while doing what I’m about to go over with you, we would see if he would gradually come back to her and show more interest in the relationship.
Lo and behold, he did! Once Dana was able to give him his freedom, spending time with her felt more fun and less like a chore for him. She was no longer an “obligation,” and it completely transformed the dynamic in the relationship.
So if you’ve found yourself thinking, “My partner neglects me,” here’s how to fix it…
Feeling neglected: The solution!
When you’re feeling neglected, there is one thing that will make all the difference and that is getting busy! If you’re dating a busy guy, you’ve got to get busy yourself.
Sometimes when I tell that to clients, they think that I’m asking them to play games, but that’s not the goal here at all. It’s not a manipulation tactic; it’s more about recalibrating your life. The more time you have to waste, the most time you have to fixate on the fact that you want to spend time with him. If you can get busy, you won’t have the time to worry about that and what’s more, you will give him the opportunity to miss you.
I cannot stress the importance of this enough. If this guy can’t miss you, you’ll run the risk of having him take you for granted which is the opposite of what we want.
So I encourage you to grab a piece of paper and a pen and start a list! Write down things that you can dedicate your time to, that are going to challenge you and provide you with a sense of joy and fulfillment. Sure this might sound counterintuitive but I can confidently say that I see this working with my clients every single day.
If you can get to know yourself and start to make choices that improve your quality of life, you’ll start to feel more and more at ease and in turn, you’ll spark his interest.
You will not be a needy or clingy girlfriend who’s begging for his time and attention, you’re going to be the cool girlfriend that has all kinds of interesting things going on, who’s attracted to the life she’s cultivating. On top of that, you won’t see the time pass because you’ll be so busy, and suddenly you’re equals! You will no longer be thinking, “My partner is too busy and I feel neglected” because you’ll be busy too.
The best part is that this will start to create a new balance. He’s not going to be the one who’s always doing things while you’re waiting around for him. You’re going to be doing things that make you happy and it will help your sense of well-being, but it will also make you much more attractive in your boyfriend or husband’s eyes.
I feel neglected: Boosting self-confidence
One of the biggest issues that go hand in hand with feeling neglected by a partner is that a person’s sense of self confidence will begin to suffer. I have a secret for you, though.
Even if you’re feeling insecure and uneasy with the current state of things, I want you to remember that confidence comes from a sense of accomplishment. The more you do, the better you feel.
If you feel neglected by your partner and it’s damaging your self-esteem, you can build confidence by getting busy and doing a few more things. Set short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals for yourself, and be diligent about dedicating your time to them. Take this time to explore who you are and what you are capable of, and know that you can make yourself proud.
It will feel so good and you won’t even notice the time fly by. I have to be honest with you, guys do not really like it when a girl is waiting around for them. It’s naggy and it encroaches on their sense of independence. Instead of telling him, “You are neglecting me” and begging for his time and attention, you will see more results if you can get yourself busy with things that make you feel even prouder of who you are!
Go ahead and try this for 30 days. Create a schedule for yourself in which ample time is dedicated to reaching your goals. And they don’t have to be anything crazy! Think of things you’ve been meaning to do like taking that sales pitch class, picking salsa dancing back up, checking out that new bar with your friends that you guys keep talking about.
Challenge yourself to be busy for 30 days and then let’s see how you feel about your busy boyfriend or husband. I feel confident that it will make YOU confident, and I know that it’s going to make you feel accomplished and happy, which in turn will make you less needy as a partner.
Neglect in a relationship can be fixed
Sometimes the easiest solution for fixing neglect in a relationship is creating a new balance so that you have less time to wait around for your partner and run the risk of being a needy girlfriend. It allows you to create a life that is more fulfilling for you, and it presents you in a different light to your significant other.
This new shift can be enough to inspire him to make more time for you and for this relationship. He will find you more magnetic and the fact that you’ll be less available to him on a regular basis will make it much harder for him to take you for granted.
So it’s a win-win. You start to feel better about your own life while simultaneously inspiring him to want to get closer to you. One of the best ways to make someone want to spend more time with you is to cultivate a life that looks deeply gratifying.
And of course, we need to make sure that you’re not nagging him or making him feel like you’re being needy or clingy. This is what makes men run in the opposite direction.
The good news is that the busier you are, the easier it is to avoid this type of behavior.
I’ve been working as a love and relationship coach for many years now, so I’ve been able to pinpoint the behaviors that ruin relationships, but I also know what solutions truly work. It is my goal to give you all the tips and tools you need to make your relationship with the one you love thrive. If you’re still thinking, “I’m feeling neglected by my husband or my boyfriend and I really don’t think this is going to work,” I invite you to reach out to me or a member of our team by clicking here.
It would be our pleasure to work with you one on one to create a custom action plan to get you the results you want! I know how easy it is for things to fall apart, but I want you to rest assured knowing that there are solutions to every problem.
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you’re feeling neglected by your boyfriend,