5 Ways to Beat a Relationship Rut – French Relationship Expert
When a couple is experiencing problems because their relationship feels like it’s in a rut and they are not as happy as they once did, it means that something needs to change. Whether you have been in a relationship for a few months or many years, the routine can creep in and make it feel like the flame is going out. Under these circumstances, you must break the pattern and change your behavior. It is hard for both men and women to find themselves in a relationship rut! Despite the love that they feel, they feel stuck. They find it challenging to show their partner how much they want to move forward together. So now it’s time to Break the routine!
Even if the routine is not directly stated as the reason behind the breakup, it is still something that can play a large role in the decision to separate. For example, infidelity is often linked to the desire to feel that excitement again. When things begin to feel stagnant, a person might look outside of the relationship because they don’t know what else to do.
I completely understand that despite the fact that you want to save your relationship, you don’t know how to break the routine. You are wondering what actions you must set into motion, and what you need to do to rekindle the flame. I wrote this article today to answer your questions, help you to understand how this happens, and explain what you can do about it.
Relationship rut: What are the risks?
Before we get into why relationships fall into a rut and why it’s so important to keep your relationship safe from it, I wanted to dedicate a section to the effect it can have on both of your lives.
You don’t have to be a love coach to know that everyone feels that boredom is not something that someone wants to have in their lives, and it is especially something that people don’t want in their relationships. If you want to remain happy in your relationship, you must both work to keep things feeling fresh and exciting. This means that you have to come up with new things to share. It doesn’t always have to be activities or hobbies… the time you spend analyzing the situation is just as important as your actions.
Let me explain…
Why do you have to think in order to avoid having a stagnant relationship?
If you are in a relationship with a woman who hates sports, there is no sense in buying two tickets to this weekend’s football game and inviting her to join you. She’s going to say no, and what’s more, you can’t break the routine and improve this situation because you will be showing her that you’re not on the same page.
The biggest problem of relationship ruts is not boredom… it is actually that it makes people wonder if they still want the same things as their partner. Even if the routine seems like it’s been taking over, you still have to show each other that you have the same desires and goals in life.
In addition to this risk, there are other factors that can have an impact. For example, your partner’s personality, past, and desires… so if your partner is a homebody, then it is less likely that the routine is going to cause serious damage to your relationship. On the other hand, if your boyfriend can’t sit still and is always looking for new things to discover, then you need to do whatever it takes to spice up a boring relationship!
What are the other dangers that a boring relationship faces?
On top of the factors that I just went over, there are other elements related to the routine that can seriously damage your relationship.
First of all, it can affect the bedroom and the attraction you have for your boyfriend. Falling into a sexual rut can lead to tensions in the relationship. This is even more true if your man has quite the sexual appetite.
Very often, one of you is happy with inactivity whereas the other can’t stand it. As time goes on, one person will end up feeling frustrated.
It is also important to know how to get a relationship out of a rut because in some extreme cases, it can actually lead to infidelity. Don’t automatically assume that it’s purely physical. The routine can diminish a person’s feelings for another and this can bring them closer to someone else.
The main danger associated with a relationship rut is of course the threat of separation. In order to avoid it, you have to ask yourself the right questions and define a strategy that offers both short and long-term solutions.
How to get a relationship OUT of a rut
I know that it is hard for some people to face the truth, so they act as though nothing is wrong. My goal is to open your eyes and guide you with tools and techniques that can save your relationship. If it seems like your partner is distant and unhappy, and if you no longer feel the same passion you did before, you have to tackle the problem right away.
When you’ve been with someone for years, it is not uncommon (even if it’s subconscious) to think that you no longer have to make an effort. You have a home, you have kids, and everything is settled. You don’t feel like you have to make an effort anymore because you already have everything you wanted. However, seduction should never be neglected. If It is, your relationship will be headed downhill. I know that some people praise routine in a relationship, but as a coach who specializes in love and relationships, I can tell you that my coachees have nothing positive to say about it!
The fact you are on my site means that you are aware of what’s going on. This is fantastic because it shows that you are willing to do what it takes to get your relationship out of a rut!
If you want to save your relationship, the keyword is CHANGE! Be careful to avoid taking your boyfriend for granted, and make sure you come up with new things to share with him or her. I also want you to keep in mind that the problem cannot be fixed overnight. Don’t underestimate the importance of patience.
If you have an activity that you love doing together or there is a place you enjoy visiting together, don’t stop! You don’t have to throw everything away – just supplement what you know what works with new things that you can share. Discovering new activities and places together will bring you closer. You just need to know what your boyfriend likes!
How to avoid boredom in your relationship
Simply put, you have to know what your man wants so you can respond to it in the best way possible. You can ask his or her friends, family, or even your kids. If you want to be more direct about it, you can ask your partner about their biggest dreams. All of this is going to put you on the right track!
By spicing up the moments you share together, and by making new memories together, you can reinforce your relationship and make the love between you stronger than ever.
In order to get out of a relationship rut, you don’t need to move mountains, give your boyfriend exorbitant gifts, or completely go overboard… A good idea for a date will come naturally, so don’t force it too much.
Keep it simple and make sure it feels natural. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself or think that it’s impossible to break the routine.
If you sense the fire is going out in your relationship, it is time to take action. Don’t underestimate the importance of the little things like leaving a little love note for your partner to find or preparing breakfast for them. Combine smaller gestures with some bigger ones, and make sure that you are patient. One candlelit dinner is not going to be enough to turn things around 100%, so keep at it!
Prove to your partner that you are determined to get your relationship out of this rut once and for all!
How to get out of a rut in your relationship
This may surprise you but if you want to get out of a relationship rut, you need to make sure that you have your things going on.
Your partner could think that you’re just looking for a temporary fix and that things are just going to get boring again after a few weeks. They might even think that your desire to spend time together and share new activities isn’t sincere… So what’s the solution? You need to improve your own life as well so that you can prove that you’re making improvements on all fronts.
Here’s a simple example. You shouldn’t make empty promises about trying new things and don’t wait around for him or her to accept. Take the initiative to make it happen and they will see that your goal is to make both of you happy.
When you sign up for things like salsa classes, group activities, cooking classes, etc… your partner will see that you’re thinking outside of the box and that you want to go that extra mile. Don’t be afraid to put a small amount of distance between you. Why? Simply because the routine doesn’t only consist of not doing anything new, it is also related to a feeling of being suffocated by your partner.
When you want to keep your relationship safe from the routine, you also have to understand and accept that one of the solutions is to give your partner a little bit of space. It’s normal for someone to want to spend time with their friends, so you should accept this and do the same thing.
How to fix a failing relationship? Work together!
I know that many people are going to make a valiant effort, and that is wonderful. However, some people experience a challenge because their partner is not receptive to the efforts they’re putting forth… it becomes hard to convince them to invest and put forth the effort to fix their stagnant relationship.
In these moments, make sure you don’t show any signs of emotional dependency or try to force your significant other to try new things with you. If your partner is not open to trying a new activity, then switch your focus to your own life and fill it with new activities that bring you joy.
These changes are going to attract your significant other and make them want to share these things with you. The reason is simple – they will second-guess their actions, they will become more interested in what you are doing, and they will want to share it with you. From this moment on, your relationship will be back on track. When they see you coming home with a big smile on your face, they will want to be a part of it and get closer to you!
In order to define the most effective strategy possible for your specific situation, I invite you to get in touch with me directly.
Wishing you all the best,
Your coach for getting out of a relationship rut