Undo the Damage with a Letter to Your boyfriend – French Relationship Expert
When things have become very tense in the relationship or you’ve already gone through a breakup with the person you love most on earth, a letter can be the perfect tool for restoring proper communication.
When you and your boyfriend get to a place where you feel like you aren’t even speaking the same language anymore, it can feel frustratingly difficult to talk things out and move past this challenging period. The result is that it turns into a vicious cycle that makes both of you feel worse. The good news is that you’re wondering, “Would a letter to my boyfriend make things better,” the answer is yes!
You just need to make sure that you follow some very specific rules so that your letter can be as effective as possible. In this article, I will outline the do’s and don’ts of writing the perfect letter to your boyfriend whether you’re still together or already broken up!
Can a letter to my boyfriend help?
A letter to your boyfriend can be a powerful technique when things have become tense in the relationship, but also if you’ve already broken up. It’s hard to properly express yourself when the relationship you have with the man you love feels off.
It’s a very human response to seize up and struggle to get the point across in a calm and collected manner when you are feeling uneasy, angry, or even scared to say the wrong thing. The more flustered you end up feeling, the harder it is to say what you mean in a way that the other person is going to understand in the way that you intend.
Similarly, he is probably feeling the same way that you are and is experiencing the same difficulty expressing what he needs to say.
When you begin to feel a disconnect between you and your boyfriend or ex boyfriend, you can both develop a mental block. You might even become so fixated on how tense and uncomfortable you feel, that you hear the words coming out wrong. Similarly, both of you might be so frustrated that each conversation just turns into a fight within a matter of minutes and you feel like you’re not getting anywhere. So you see, it becomes a vicious cycle.
This is where a letter to a boyfriend really comes in handy.
If you follow the guidelines I am going to share with you throughout this article, you will be able to truly express how you’re feeling, what you would like to happen, and you will be able to propose tangible, long term solutions that will ensure that you don’t end up in this situation ever again.
You will know how to clearly communicate what you want to say in a clear, honest, and constructive way, and you and your current or ex boyfriend will be able to work along side by side to restore the joy, complicity, and connection in your relationship.
Writing a letter to your boyfriend is great because you calmly present your ideas without being interrupted, and you can take the time to think about how exactly you want to say what you want to say.
It isn’t uncommon for two people to feel competitive when tensions are high and try to “win” the conversation. They focus more on being understood than on understanding.
The letter to your boyfriend helps him to understand where you’re coming from while you propose solutions.
If you haven’t separated, a letter for your boyfriend can show him what you’re really feeling and it can also help you to rekindle the flame and restore the connection between you. Too many fights lead to a disconnect between two people, and expressing thoughts, emotions and suggestions on paper can help to present and see things in a more positive way.
If you want to write a successful letter to your boyfriend, you’ll have to adhere to certain rules which will directly depend on your personal situation. Simply put, loving words and reminders of your love for him are important, yes, but if you want to present him with something that is going to make a real difference in the state of things, you’ll have to go a bit further.
Letter to boyfriend when you’re still together
When your relationship has become a source of stress and you feel like your stomach twists every time you two try to talk about what’s going wrong, (or maybe even whenever you try to talk about anything at all…) it’s hard to communicate what needs to be said and work on finding solutions.
It’s of course easier to talk about these things if you’re still together, and your boyfriend will most likely be more open to reading your letter. You both need to work as a team, and I’m sure you both know that.
All relationships encounter ups and downs, and please don’t panic because you’re experiencing tough times. More often than not, when a couple goes through this type of thing and comes through on the other side, their relationship becomes stronger than ever.
Why? Because they were faced with the fear of losing each other, they realize how much they’re willing to work together to make things right again, their bond becomes stronger, and they will have overcome an obstacle as a team.
So when it comes to writing love letters to your boyfriend right now, keep in mind that the most important thing will be to present him with solutions. To do so, you’ll have to take the time to really reflect on why all of this is happening and where the problems stem from.
Without pinpointing the roots of the issues at hand, you aren’t going to be able to present your boyfriend with the necessary solutions so that your relationship can bounce back and be better than ever.
I know that sometimes this is easier said than done, so I want you to know that if you need help with anything at all, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me here for one on one coaching, or leave your question in the comments section below so that I can personally reply to you.
When you’re wondering, “How should I begin my letter to my boyfriend,” I suggest you open it with a section on your feelings for him. When things have become so tense, it’s normal for someone to wonder if their significant other still feels the same way about them as they did before. Tell him that you love and appreciate him, and tell him how he makes your life better. Just try to avoid going on and on, because the purpose of this letter is actually to propose solutions for the problems you’re encountering together.
Next, begin to talk about how you’ve recognized that things have been feeling tense and your behavior has more than likely changed. This is when you can begin to go over what issues you have recognized and what solutions you are proposing.
This makes your letter constructive and it proves to your boyfriend that you’re not about to just throw in the towel and give up. You have been able to analyze what’s been going on while proposing solutions for restoring your relationship to its former glory.
By the way, writing this letter by hand is going to get you bonus points. It is so rare to see people to take the time to sit down and actually write something by hand, and your significant other will undoubtedly appreciate the gesture.
Letters to my boyfriend: I want him back
Even if you’ve already broken up, the good news is that a letter to your ex boyfriend can yield some pretty spectacular results.
If you’re familiar with my philosophy and my websites, then you’ve probably already heard of the handwritten letter and how it is one of the most commonly used techniques for getting back together with an ex.
Communication between two people that have separated is often pretty challenging because there are so many emotions. Sometimes communication might even feel impossible because of how high tensions are running, but you still love him and you still miss him… and that is exactly why the letter to an ex is so powerful.
When a person receives a letter, they can’t interrupt the author or interject responses. They can read it from beginning to end and really digest what they’ve just read. This is why it’s such a great tool for you – you can present your emotions but more importantly, you can present solutions to problems.
Just like I wrote in the section for people that have not separated from their partners and are thinking about using this letter to help usher in some positive changes, the most important element of this letter is the solutions that you will propose.
You will have had to take the time to sit down and really think about what went wrong, where the issues stemmed from, and what kind of realistic, long term solutions you can propose.
In this situation, a simple love letter to your boyfriend isn’t going to get you the results you’re hoping for. Unfortunately, we’ve understood that sometimes love isn’t enough to keep two people together, and your ex boyfriend knows this as well. So now you need to propose solutions that ensure that if you get back together, you won’t end up going down the same path as before.
Express your love for him in this letter, but don’t stop there. Talk about the improvements you’ve made in your life and how you’ve recognized what you could have been doing better in the relationship. If you had gotten lazy in the relationship, get back to the gym and tell your ex that you’ve begun taking better care of yourself. If communication was an issue, tell him that you’ve been working on expressing yourself in a constructive way and that you wanted to write this letter to do exactly that.
Actions always speak louder than words so whatever you write in this letter needs to be backed up by concrete actions.
Your ex boyfriend doesn’t want to wind up in the same relationship as before because you both already know how it ended.
You have to propose something new, solid, healthy, and bright, and this letter is the perfect way to tell him about what you have in mind.
As this article comes to a close, I’d like to take a moment to mention that one letter should suffice. Sending the person you love letter after letter will take away from its impact.
I like to think of it like a bar of chocolate. The first bite is always so delicious and you’re instantly reminded of why you love chocolate so much… But if you keep on eating it and end up finishing the entire bar in one go, you’ll most likely end up feeling kind of sick and not want any more chocolate at all.
As I said, I’m always here to help so don’t hesitate to reach out!
Wishing you all the best in life and in love,
Your love and relationship coach for knowing how to write the best letter to the man you love,