How to stop obsessing over a guy: 3 pro tips!
One of the most frustrating feelings in the world is when you’re obsessing over someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you. In French, we have an expression: C’est plus fort que moi. The literal translation is “It’s stronger than me,” but the meaning behind it is, “It’s not my fault.” The French expression really stands out to me in this type of situation because I know that when someone I’m working with is obsessing over a guy, it can feel like no matter what they do, they can’t get him out of their head.
I know how hard this is because as a general rule, women have heightened emotions and this can lead to getting a guy stuck in your head, no matter how much you don’t want him to be in all your thoughts. Fortunately, I have been closely working with individuals and couples since 2007 and I can confidently tell you what works and what doesn’t. The good news is that if you want to know how to stop obsessing over a guy, you’ve come to the right place.
In today’s article, I am going to go over everything you need to know in terms of how to stop obsessing over a guy. It is my goal to help you move on from this and lay a foundation for a happy future for your love life, so I’m going to give you some tips and tools to help you move on whether you’re dealing with unrequited love or a painful breakup.
How to stop obsessing over a guy: You CAN get over him!
When people come to me for help, I notice some recurring themes. For example, when men come to me for a coaching session, it is very often people they want to learn how to become more attractive, how to become more seductive, and how to have more charisma. They want to know how to woo women… On the other hand, 9 times out of 10, when a woman comes to me for help it’s because she’s got one specific guy in mind. And I get it, when you start seeing someone, you want to make sure that the relationship is going to work. It’s perfectly natural.
Another thing that I find interesting is that so many people say the same thing to me: “Alex, it’s really rare for me to feel this way about someone. I’m so picky and I usually don’t like anyone. But now I can’t get this guy out of my head!” So this is probably the case for you right now. There is one specific guy that occupies every thought and you wake up in the morning thinking about him, and you go to bed at night thinking about him. It’s enough to drive you nuts because unfortunately, he has made it clear that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you (or that he simply cannot be in a relationship with you for one reason or another).
So you’re left feeling sad and frustrated and you can’t seem to get him out of your thoughts.
That said, for some of you it’s about how to stop obsessing over a guy you slept with, and for others it’s going to be about how to stop obsessing over a guy that you can’t be with. Either way, I have solutions. The first thing you’re going to have to do is to WANT to stop obsessing over him. You have to train your mind to think, “This guy is NOT the one for me.” The right guy for you is going to fight for you, he’s going to be proactive and he’s going to be involved in the relationship.
So I want to talk about what you can do to stop an obsession over a guy who is not making you happy.
How to stop being obsessive over a guy: the 3 techniques
We all have an inner voice, right? Well, we can train that inner voice to help get certain thoughts out of the mind. This is going to be your biggest tool when you want to stop obsessing over a man and it all begins with deciding that you are going to have higher standards from now on. If you can decide this, then you will want someone who does two or three times as much as this guy did for you, and then he’s not going to hold your interest in the same way anymore. So start by telling yourself that this is not the guy for you. A man that is worthy of you should fight for you
How to stop obsessing over a guy you like by rebuilding your dreams and goals
At the moment, you’re spending a lot of your time and energy thinking about this guy, but what if you took that time and dedicated it to improving the quality of your own life? On boosting your sense of well being and self-confidence?
The reason why it is so hard for people to stop obsessing over a guy is usually because of a little thing called projection. You imagined your future with this guy and you could see yourself in a relationship with him, maybe even getting married to him and starting a family. The problem is that when you create this kind of projection in your mind, you’re way too far from the present moment and you remove yourself from reality. This is what leads to regrets and regrets are what cause you to obsess over this guy. You’ll think, “Oh but we could have had such an amazing relationship,” but unfortunately that didn’t work out.
So now it’s time to rebuild your dreams and start focusing on your goals again and focus on your personal life in the present moment. If you can rebuild yourself with your own dreams and goals then I can guarantee you that you will be able to stop obsessing over him.
Socialize if you want to stop obsessing over someone
You have so much power over how you live your life and I never want you to forget this. You also have so much power when it comes to relationships and attraction! So my next tip for you is to encourage you to go out and socialize!
From now on, challenge yourself to make eye contact with three guys every single day and give them a friendly smile. If you can work on your body language, you’ll realize that though this guy maybe made you feel a certain way, it doesn’t mean he’s the one because there are so many other people out there and you can do BETTER! You can have someone who’s going to love you, cherish you, give you attention, and like I said above, be involved in the relationship! So whether you want to know how to stop obsessing over a guy you barely know or how to stop obsessing over an ex, keep this in mind. You can be with someone who will make you much, much happier, and this is in your hands.
By the way, the more positive energy you share with the world, the more you’re going to receive in return! You can build your own future. Your own dreams, your own goals, and your own sense of happiness in your life. The happier you are in your life, the more attracted men will be to you and you’ll find that it will become much easier to create something meaningful with someone.
How to stop obsessing over a guy who dumped you: The keys
If you’ve been broken up with, I know that your heart is very broken right now. I don’t want you to feel like you’re suffering because you can’t get your ex out of your head. It’s going to take some time and it’s a bit of a process, but please believe me when I say that this period is only temporary. It will require motivation, perseverance and patience, and most importantly, effort.
If you invest in yourself, however, I can promise you that your life will change for the better. You will no longer make mistakes, and you will no longer wind up in one-sided relationships where you’re giving more than you receive because the one you love doesn’t love you back.
So my first tip for any of you who are in this situation is to think about human nature. Human beings will accumulate all of our emotions and feelings so if you want to stop obsessing over a guy, you need to release all of these negative emotions. How?
The easiest way is to socialize, hit the gym and get your endorphins flowing, do some yoga and mediation. We can control everything that goes on inside our minds if we make the effort to learn how, and now is the perfect time to do just that!
The second thing I suggest to my clients in this situation is to make a conscious effort to never talk about this guy. Don’t bring him up to your family or your friends, take all the pictures you have of him and get them out of sight. Remember, out of sight out of mind is a huge help when you’re trying to move on and rebuild yourself. Next, fill up your days with new activities. It’s true that we can never forget our pasts, but we can build a happier future.
There is no magic solution that is magically going to get this guy out of your mind, but there are choices that you can make every single day to train your mind to focus on more productive things that are going to serve you and ensure that your future is much happier than your past.
I am here to help you every step of the way, and if you would like to take it a step further, I encourage you to download my free eBook by clicking here. In it, you can learn all the ins and outs of how to create the love life of your dreams! I am also here to help you in person, so if you would like to book a private coaching session with me, all you have to do is click here. It would be my pleasure to design a custom action plan for you to help you get in control of your emotions once and for all.
From now on, we are going to choose happiness!
I wish you all the very best,
Your #1 French love coach when you want to know how to stop obsessing over a guy
Being with this msn for 9 years. He broke up8 months ago. In thise 8 months, he found a new woman . She bought him all the things he wanted. I told him before he broke up. I cant spend 17,000 dollars on u an atv. We live in the mountains and love to ride. But i needed a car, and a commitment that he would say he wanted, and set a date several time that i could finally move in. He messed up every single one with gaslighting, said it was slways my fault. He wouldnt give it. Called me names and hateful to me. Said he would never marry. Well in those 8 months of break up , she bought the atv. For him, and built a garage for it, and they posted on facebook they got married. But we never found a marriage license filed. Will he do this to every woman he meets? And why did he give this one all the things we wanted to do and buy together? Ive been so hurt all this time. I believe he will financially ruin her. And then leave her to pick up the peices. Plus he is with a woman he said he would never pic those looks. But he did and gave her a dream i worked so hard for.
Hi Annette, thank you for your comment. A man needs to value you and place you on a pedestal; not take you for granted. In order to set yourself up for longterm happiness in your love life, your goal must now be to focus entirely on yourself, create the life you’ve always dreamed of, pursue your personal and professional goals, and set goals and challenges for yourself. Once you start to make these changes, you will feel a huge shift in your life, and your personal and love life will never be the same. This is how you lay the foundation that allows long-lasting love to come into your life and stay. Wishing you all the best!