Married men who cheat : 15 signs to know for sure
It’s one of the worst feelings in the world. The thought of it makes your stomach turn and you try to get it out of your mind as soon as it shows up. The problem is that this type of feeling is hard to shake and it’s enough to keep you up at night. If you’re starting to feel that the person you love more than anything on this earth is cheating on you, you need to know for sure. But how? What are the telltale signs that help you recognize married men who cheat?
Whether you’ve found yourself in this situation or you know someone who might be the victim of infidelity in her marriage, this article is going to shed some light on why this happens, what you need to look out for, and what kind of subtle signs to keep an eye out for as well.
It’s very hard to maintain a peaceful and satisfying relationship if you have a nagging feeling that something negative is going on behind your back. Most women have experienced cheating first hand or know someone who has, and nobody wants to feel the pain that goes along with it. Sometimes something that happened to you in the past pushes you to feel suspicious of your new partner, and this can damage the relationship. This is why it’s so important to learn how to recognize the signs he’s cheating, reinforce your relationship so that this fear and threat disappear, and learn how to make him become more attached to you than ever.
You’re in luck because you’re about to find out how to do just that!
Why married men cheat and does everyone do it?
Unfortunately a very large percentage of men cheat or have cheated. If you come to realize that your husband was unfaithful, you’re going to want to know what could have lead him to do something like this. You’ll feel furious and betrayed, and it will be hard to understand his actions.
More often than not, infidelity blindsides you because you weren’t expecting it. It causes a type of pain that you haven’t felt before and before you know it you see red.
How could he? Where did this come from? Who is she?!
The most important thing, especially if you want to know how to save your relationship after cheating, is to pinpoint the source of his dissatisfaction with the current relationship.
There are two answers to the question, “Why do men cheat on their wives?”
1. He needs validation from other women and likes the chase
2. He needed something that he wasn’t getting in your relationship and gave in to temptation.
As hard as it is to hear, if he isn’t just someone who likes to play games, he was missing something in your relationship that he felt compared to go find elsewhere.
Other times the reason can be as simple as having an insatiable desire to feed his ego and be found attractive by women.
It’s very important to determine whether you’re in a relationship with someone who gave into temptation because something was wrong in your relationship, or if you’re with someone who fits the profile of a serial adulterer.
I often see women who have fallen in love with the latter, and wind up in excruciatingly painful situations. They think that they’ll be able to change him, but in fact they end up being taken for granted and betrayed over and over again. The best way to combat this phenomenon is by using the Chase me and I’ll run technique, that you can read about right here. You have to learn how to get in control of the situation.
That said, if your partner has given into temptation and it’s more or less uncharacteristic of him to behave like this, there are things that you can do to save your relationship and I’ll get into that later on in the article.
So, how can you tell if he’s cheating?
Married men who cheat: How to spot the signs
What is the easiest way to spot married men cheating?
Before I go any further, I want to take a moment to tell you that having this kind of question at the forefront of your mind could damage your relationship with your husband (whether he’s cheating or not). Suspicions and unease can be detrimental to your bond, so I’d like you to ask yourself if you recognize any of the following situations or behaviors:
–He hides his phone: If his phone has a new lock code, he always keeps it hidden, and he reacts negatively when you take it to see what time it is, he might be hiding something (especially if he wasn’t like this before).
–He’s never at home anymore: If your husband is having an affair, his free time will be spent with her. If you realize that he’s never around and he suddenly starts having “work meetings” that go uncharacteristically late, something might be up.
–He has weak excuses: If you start picking up on something and confront him, only to be met with an almost laughable excuse, I would suggest paying attention to his actions because your suspicions might be based on truth.
–His routine has changed: You’re married so chances are you’ve been together for a while and you know his routine like the back of your hand. If it suddenly changes, he might be hiding something.
If you recognize more than one of these signs, your husband may be straying, but there are less obvious signs that I will outline as well.
If your gut truly is telling you “My husband is cheating on me,” I suggest saying this:
“I know that you’re cheating on me, but the most important thing is that we save our relationship.” Judging by his reaction, you will have a better idea of whether or not he just got caught red handed or if you have the wrong idea. Sometimes all it takes is saying the opposite of the truth to get the truth out of someone!
How to recognize married men who cheat and lie: The most obvious signs
Now that we’ve gone over the obvious signs of cheating, I wanted to share some some subtle signs to be on the lookout for.
I just want to mention that it’s also very important for the health of your relationship that you don’t overthink things. As I said above, his reaction will help you to gauge whether or not he’s being faithful to you and if he’s working to keep your relationship alive.
You want to foster a serene environment in which he feels safe to confide in you.
Similarly, if he has nothing to hide, he wouldn’t ever want you to suffer from these kinds of feelings and he would go out of his way to make you feel more reassured.
If something in his behavior really does bother you, you have every right to ask him questions, and his replies will help you to get a better idea of what’s going on. Pay attention to his body language, his explanations, and the tone of his voice, as these things are all indicators of whether or not he’s lying.
So, what are the subtle signs of married men cheating?
The biggest indicator is a change in his behavior, but I’m sure that comes as no surprise to you. There’s a reason as to why you’re reading this article right now and it’s because you’ve picked up on something that feels out of the ordinary in your relationship with your husband.
– Has he suddenly started taking much better care of himself and how he dresses? Has he become lazier because he’s more confident?
– Has he suddenly become uncharacteristically defensive?
– Has he become less interested in sex
After having lived together for so long, you start to get a pretty good idea of what his habits are and how he usually behaves. When something changes all of this, it’s normal to wonder if there is another woman. If this is the case, he will start to spend less and less time with you and distance himself from you both physically and emotionally. In this way he begins to detach himself from the relationship. You might even begin to feel like you don’t recognize him.
Here are even more flagrant signs that he might be cheating on you:
– He checks out other women
– You can smell another woman’s perfume or see lipstick on his clothing
– He’s distracted when you call or message him or doesn’t reply to you at all
– He is less concerned with your happiness and doesn’t pay as much attention to you as before
– He doesn’t talk about plans for your future together anymore
– You don’t feel any passion in his kisses anymore
You can even become furious because something isn’t right and you are starting to feel like you’re being betrayed. He’s less available, he’s not around as much, and his explanations don’t add up. It isn’t easy to convince yourself that everything is fine when the situation is not helping you to feel reassured, especially if your attempts at having a calm conversation about it are always shut down…
Similarly, if you approach the situation aggressively, he can also shut down and refuse to talk to you about it. The result is that you feel even more uneasy and tensions start to rise in the relationship.
Married men cheating: Don’t forget the less obvious signs…
Oftentimes when I coach women who are in this type of situation, that are asking “Why do husbands cheat and is mine cheating on me?, I see an interesting phenomenon. Either they exaggerate their partner’s behavior and actions, or they don’t want to accept the truth so they focus on insignificant details.
There are reasons that can explain why a person cheats, but that still doesn’t make it ok. It’s one of the worst ways to betray your partner’s trust and cause serious damage to your relationship. It often stems from a person’s past, and you shouldn’t ignore blatant signs that something is happening behind your back. Similarly, you shouldn’t nurture doubts in your mind if your partner gives you good reason to believe that you can trust them. You don’t want to prevent yourself from truly enjoying a fulfilling relationship.
Sometimes people have scars stemming from their own past that blocks them from trusting people, and if you feel that this is the case for you, it is of upmost importance that you make an effort to work on this as well.
Now, you will need concrete proof before you can know for sure, because many of these signs can also just be indicators that he isn’t feeling happy in his own life and he’s having other issues that have nothing to do with infidelity. He might be struggling with a family or work situation and he might not feel comfortable talking to you about it…
The most important thing is to foster trust and complicity in your relationship so that you’re able to openly talk about what’s going on and what needs to change in the relationship so that you can find long term solutions.
How can I save my relationship after cheating?
Many women that I coach want to know the answer to one, very specific question: “Can I save my relationship after my husband cheated on me?” I want you to know that yes, it is most certainly possible, but it is all going to depend on how much you and your partner are willing to put forth the effort.
After this type of betrayal, your trust is going to be very broken and it will take some time before you can feel at ease and secure in your relationship again. Your partner needs to understand that if this is going to work, he’s going to have to prove to you that he’s in it for the long run with you and that this isn’t going to happen again.
It is also important to note that this is a two way road and both of you are responsible for nurturing a happy, healthy, and fulfilling relationship.
In order to do this you need to make sure that communication between you is as good as it can be, and that you two can openly discuss what you’d like to improve and how you plan on doing it.
You have to learn how to bounce back from this ordeal and put your best foot forward. Be proactive in your relationship.
Don’t bring it up in conversation more than you absolutely have to. The goal is to focus on enjoying being together and sharing new experiences. You want new, happy memories, and you don’t want to dwell on this situation. The more you dwell on it, the harder it will be to move forward.
If you’d like to know more in depth information about how to save your relationship, I encourage you to read this right away.
To summarize, there are two reasons behind why a husband would cheat on his wife, and there are certain actions to set into motion.
Right now, even if you’re hurt, focus more on yourself so that you can find happiness and confidence once again before you focus on re-seducing your husband and rekindling the flame in the relationship.
Don’t shower him with phrases like, “I love you,” “I miss you so much,” “You’re the love of my life…”
My advice is to look at the situation as if you were meeting for the first time, (it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together!)
This is the best way to rediscover each other and learn how to move past infidelity in a relationship.
It’s going to take some time and patience, but if you both do the work and take the time to reinforce your bond, you’ll see that there isn’t anything that you can’t overcome!
As always, I’m here to help guide you every step of the way, so don’t ever hesitate to reach out!
All my best,
Your coach for knowing how to deal with cheating in a relationship,