How to move on after being cheated on: 3 easy steps
When someone cheats on you, not only do you experience a terrible blow to the ego, your faith in relationships is also shaken. It leaves you feeling hurt and confused and you wish you could just wave a magic wand and make all of this go away. Unfortunately, the healing process will take a bit of time but I am here to share some tips with you on how to move on after being cheated on with ease. This article is not going to be about how to get back together with someone who messed around on you behind your back, it’s going to be about how to turn the page and move on with grace and peace of mind.
As hard as these types of situations may be, they often serve as a blessing in disguise. I know that can sound cliché and it probably feels hard to believe that right now, but trust me when I say that when something like this happens, you can use it as fuel to make your future happier and ensure that you never have to go through this again.
I will be sharing three pro tips with you that will facilitate this process and make you bounce back better than ever before. Rest assured, this painful period is only temporary and better days are on the way!
<h2>Understanding how to move on after being cheated on with grace </h2>
I’ve been working as a love and relationship coach for so many years now (I started in 2007 to be exact), and I have worked with thousands (yes, thousands!) of people who have been in this situation. The person they loved more than anything broke their heart by being unfaithful. In some cases the truth came out when a phone was accidentally left lying around with an incriminating conversation open, in other cases a person’s suspicions were accurate and their partner confessed, and in some of the toughest cases, the person walked in on their partner with another person.
No matter how it happened, the news was crushing. Some people decided to pull the plug on the relationship the moment they found out, but others tried to fight for the survival of their relationship. It’s important to do some introspection and determine whether you trust that your significant other isn’t going to cheat on you again and whether you want to give this relationship another shot.
Today’s article is for those of you that have made the decision to move on. I know it’s no easy feat but I want to applaud you for making a decision that you know will ultimately serve you. I recently worked with someone who came to me asking about how to move on after being cheated on. Alexandra had been with her boyfriend for three years when she found out that he had been having a full-blown affair with someone at his gym.
She had her suspicions and had confronted her boyfriend at the time, Thomas, about it. The first time she asked him, he laughed and told her that no, of course, he wasn’t cheating on her, what a silly idea… The same thing happened the next time she confronted him about it. Then a month or so went by and something still wasn’t sitting well with her, she followed her gut and asked him one last time if something was going on.
This time much to her surprise, he told her that yes, he had in fact been sleeping with someone. It wasn’t even a one-time-thing. It had been going on for months, so Alexandra had actually been right all along. Hearing him confirm her fear broke her heart more than she even thought was possible, but she still made the difficult decision to leave. She knew she deserved more and knew deep down that Thomas wasn’t going to change.
Then came the hard part. A breakup is extremely painful as it is, but when you throw cheating into the mix, it becomes really hard for a person’s ego to cope. She reached out to me for help saying, “Alex, I knew that this was going to be hard when I left, but I can’t seem to move on. I keep replaying memories from the relationship in my head and then I keep fixating on what he did. I feel like I’m stuck in limbo.”
Her words really struck me because I know that so many people suffer and feel like this. The tips I am about to go over with you are some of the ones I worked on with her, and I am happy to say that she is now doing better than ever!
<h2>How to move forward after being cheated on: The key</h2>
So first things first. If you want to know how to move on after someone cheats on you, you need to understand the WHY. Why exactly did this happen? Why did this person do something like this behind your back?
In general, there are two reasons why this happens. The first one is that the relationship was not fulfilling enough. If the relationship doesn’t make a person happy, they will be much more likely to look for something outside of it and get involved with another person. For some people this stops at emotional cheating, and for others, it can become physical cheating. Either way, YOU suffer.
And it’s not necessarily because your partner doesn’t value you or love you, or because he or she is falling in love with someone else. It’s just because they simply weren’t happy in your relationship. If this was the case for you, then it’s important for you to figure out why exactly he or she wasn’t happy. Now, I’m not telling you to get back together with this person; I’m saying that by understanding why this happened, you’ll have an easier time guarding against it in the future. This will give you peace of mind and help you to move on.
The other most common reason why a person cheats is because, well, they’re just a cheater in general. They love to play the game and sleep around. If this is the case, it is in no way your fault. It’s just how they are. So your job now is to understand why you chose someone with this personality trait. If you want to protect yourself in the future, you need to understand what mistakes you must avoid making again.
If you understand all the moving parts of this situation, however painful it may be, you’ll be able to move on. You won’t fixate on the past, you won’t be scared to meet someone new, and you won’t compare someone new to your ex who cheated on you.
<h2>Moving on after being cheated on: Define what you want</h3>
Take a pen and a piece of paper and start to write down exactly what you want. You can do this in a list from, or you can just write down from your stream of consciousness. Just write whatever comes to mind in terms of what you want from a partner, what personality traits you want them to have, how you want them to treat you, what specific things you want them to do for you. For example, you can say, “I want a partner who knows how to surprise me, someone who will invest in the relationship, someone who brings me flowers, someone who values traveling, etc.”
If you can set higher standards, you will make sure that you don’t settle for less than the type of relationship you really want.
In addition to this, I’ve noticed that a lot of people cheat on their partners because they know that they have all the power. If you can challenge a person by having a solid sense of self-worth and confidence, if you know exactly what you want, then you will be able to move forward and regain control of your life.
This goes hand in hand with regaining a solid sense of self-confidence which is key when you want to know how to move on after being cheated on. Now is the time to update your look, give yourself a makeover with a new haircut or some new clothes, hit the gym, and train your mind to start working on becoming the best version of yourself. If you train your mind, then nothing will hurt you anymore.
So I encourage you to do some affirmation exercises every morning when you wake up and every night before going to bed. Repeat to yourself that you are becoming the new and improved version of yourself. You are the best version of yourself that you’ve ever been, and you’re only getting better.
You’re going to be happy because you’re learning to control your emotions. Though this is very hard, especially because your ego has taken such a hit, it IS possible. The way you do this is by planning your future and actively working on yourself. Make sure you understand the why, and then clearly define what you want in your future. This experience is only happening once in your life and you can use it as fuel to become the 2.0 version of yourself. By doing so, you’ll set yourself up for success in love because you’ll be attracting someone who meets much higher standards. I can guarantee you that if you can adopt this mindset, you’ll have a much easier time moving on after being cheated on.
<h2>The power of moving on after cheating</h2>
As we’ve established, this is a very difficult thing for a person to have to go through. It is even more difficult when you saw your future with this person. Interestingly enough, this projection is what causes you the most pain because not only are you hurt by what your ex did, you have to let go of how you imagined your future to be.
But that doesn’t mean that the future won’t be better than you expected! All of this is under your control. When I’m working with people who are struggling with moving on after having been cheated on, I always remind them that they are in control of more than they might realize. 🙂
Now is the time to build new projects, to focus on yourself, to pick up old hobbies and passions that got placed on the back burner and really start to make your life into what you’ve always wanted it to be. Think about what you want to accomplish in your life? It’s time to travel, do what you want, with the people that make you happy or on your own! Give your life a breath of fresh air and you’ll see how much this helps in moving on after being cheated on. It will help you to get the nostalgic thoughts out of your head and help you to get excited about the future.
As always, my team and I are here to help you every step of the way. If you’d like to take it a step further, I encourage you to check out all the videos I’ve posted on my YouTube Channel. My goal is to give you the tools you need to help you coach yourself through any challenging situation in love. You can also download my free eBook by clicking here. In it, you’ll discover all the secrets to a happy and fulfilling love life and all the valuable lessons and techniques I’ve learned and fine-tuned in all my years as a love and relationship coach.
You can of course always reach out to me or a member of my team for one on one guidance simply by clicking here. It would be our pleasure to guide you and give you a tailor-made action plan to help you find true happiness in life and love.
Wishing you nothing but the very best,
Your coach when you want to know how to move on after being cheated on